Men have a tendency to let laziness reign in relation to courtship and trying to hook up.
In fact, laziness may be an overstatement here. Perhaps it’s more like inactivity, too much comfort and mis-expectations.
I call this the curse of the technological age.
Since the advent and boom of the mobile phone over the last 12 years in particular, people no longer feel an urgency for face-to-face and direct communication.
Chicks got lazy and complacent to where the bulk of their communication is done over text.
Guys also got lazy and complacent and followed the technological trend and the trajectory of women.
Prior to 2012, a great portion of men [of the Alphas] still harbored the go-getter spirit and couldn’t actually sit back on their laurels and rely on text messages to facilitate hooking up.
They had to act or get left behind as far as getting laid was concerned.
Nowadays, with the curse and blessing of technological advancements, “why the fuck should I [as the guy] have to go get laid”!?
This is why online-dating has been so popular!
It’s the lazy man’s way of getting laid without having to put in any work.
Don’t get me wrong: I am all for online dating!
I love it! And a great percentage of the girls I sleep with is facilitated through online-dating sites or Facebook.
However, if the internet were to crash tomorrow and rendered every online-dating site downed, I can still hit the streets or the malls and pull asses.
Does the average guy who owns an online-dating profile, equip himself in such a way that if every online-dating website were to be disbanded, he’ll still put up decent dating numbers?
Unlike…which is why he has an online-dating profile to begin with [an alternative to actual and real interaction].
Hence, most of us guys nowadays [in the Americas and Europe] are playing armchair quarterbacks, and attempting to expend the least amount of time and energy with maximum returns via women crawling into our beds.
Now, granted in other aspects of pickup, seduction and life in general, the Pareto’s Law is applicable [that is where you do less and get max returns].
However, when it comes to actually getting chicks into the sack, least effort and being lazy and non-proactive about it, is a recipe for continued nights of fapping yourself to sleep.
You can only do less and get more ‘AFTER’ you will have picked up the girl, and gotten her attracted to your vibe to the point where you can just do shit and allow her to chase you…but even that has its limitations.
Evidently, even if you picked up a girl online, it doesn’t at all mean the sex is inevitable…as you’ve come to learn.
You are still required to execute some activity [the bulk of it].
Be as it may, technology has been a great contributor to the Beta-ization of men [Beta-ization meaning the weakening of men from Alpha to Beta-Males].
With that, we’ve created a situation where men are no longer proactive courters.
I can’t even begin to count how many nights [over the course of a decade actually] I’ve been in the club and witnessed guys faced-down in their smartphones thumbing away while women idly sit by.
Surely this plagues women way more than men [smartphone addiction]. But that is still no excuse for a guy to justify to himself why he shouldn’t be proactive.
The reality still remains the same yesterday as today: women are the courtees and not the courters!
Therefore, it is the woman’s gender role to play passive and inactive in courtship. So you as a man cannot be so foolish as to want to believe that women in the nightclubs or bars should be approaching you.
That is NOT a part of her gender role [to approach, chat up and court men]…unless she’s an astute prostitute or exotic dancer.
Hence, you should expect to see many girls faced-down in their smartphones and waiting for some brave-ballsy guy to approach them.
It is her role to be passive!
Examples of where and how guys show a lack of pro-activity
I intended for this post to be a very long one, but in the interest of time, I will shorten it up.
Let’s proceed with a few examples of where and how guys drop the ball and fail to be proactive in getting ass.
Guy texts girl, doesn’t get a reply. Instead of following up with a phone call at some point [perhaps half hour to an hour later], he aborts it all in trying to preserve value in order to not look desperate.
Listen- thing is- most girls have tons of guys texting them.
Your text may have just genuinely gone unnoticed in the fray.
It doesn’t hurt to either send another 1 or call!
You also should take into consideration that there do exist some women who aren’t fond of texting.
The British MILF I picked up days ago was 1 such chick.
Therefore, a follow-up call following your unanswered text is warranted.
You only appear desperate based on the content of your text messages.
For instance: you text the girl a rather decent text, she doesn’t reply. You text her again saying, “Hey Jenny, why aren’t you answering my last text”?
Now you become the needy, annoying and desperate guy because of such text. It isn’t the fact that you had texted her back to back without reciprocation.
With that, you have some guys who aren’t persistent because they don’t want to look desperate.
They wait, wait and wait and the girl inadvertently loses interest or the initial flame naturally dies out.
You’re better off risking it than not taking chances at all.
The girl isn’t just going to spread her legs and say “fuck me”!
You have to push the envelope, take risks and go for what you want!
Another fumbled opportunity I see lots of guys fall prey to are situations where girl has in earphones, listening to music or talking on the phone.
You may want to approach her but lose faith as you realize she has ear buds stuffed in her ears.
Again- women are passive beings.
She sitting, standing or walking listening to music is no reason why you as the guy shouldn’t approach and shouldn’t proactively try to state your case.
Women will do everything within their powers to stay as passive and inactive as possible where it relates to attraction and courtship.
It is her job to just dress the past, put on something attractive and hope for the best.
As the man, it is your gender role to pursue and court.
Addressing the Player Community
Please, please, please, I would love to address those guys out there who hold fast to the notion that “chasing ass” is beneath them and it is the wrong strategy.
You hear this quite often among black men, particularly the ones who subscribe to the player lifestyle as promoted through the internet by guys such as the Player Supreme whom I’ve had issues with a few years back over Youtube.
The Player Supreme is on board with 95% of what the pick-up community teaches, barring his wavering opinion on cold approaching.
He thinks that cold approaching women on the streets or anywhere for that matter, is a desperate and low-value act. For those who aren’t privy to pick-up jargon, “Cold Approaching” would mean approaching a random stranger [a girl] in order to pick her up.
Guys like my nemesis, the Player Supreme, believes that cold approaching is weak and for pussies.
The irony is really laughable when you think about it since approaching a random hottie on the streets requires balls of steel for most men on the globe. So how is cold approach for weak men?
Be as it may, such is the perception by the player society of men such as PUA’s who approach women.
However, there is no way in the world that actively pursuing women should be deemed desperate, “thirsty” or weak.
“Hoe-chasing” as guys like Player Supreme like to call it, is said by them to be a thirsty and desperate way to get women.
Again- I ask- how and when did it become desperate and weak for a man to perform his manly duties to approach women?
That is the most Alpha and manly thing for a man to do!
It’s no wonder why lots of guys out there are so passive in their approach to women.
You have guys wanting to get laid but afraid to be demonized and shamed by society and other men, while being called desperate and thirsty for playing their biological role in approaching women.
With all this in mind, you have 99% of men in nightlife venues such as clubs and bars, petrified to step to women.
Guy thinks, “If I make a move, I’ll be called desperate by the boys”. So he elects to not approach altogether, blowing his chance because of what other men may think.
There are endless reasons why men are encouraged and forced to become passive and not pursue women.
In light of those reasons, you either have to say “fuck it” and man up or scratch and sniff for some crumbs off of the next man’s table.
All in all, you have to step up to the plate and pursue women!
Just getting a phone number, though a step along the way to getting into her panties, it is just a first step along the way.
You cannot afford to just relax all because you got a phone number somehow!
What if the girl genuinely lost her phone or the dog ate it 😉 ? Would you go to her job site or pop up at her home in order to see her?
Or would that be too desperate of an act for your taste?
Hypothetically, what if you had no way to contact this whom you desire?
Why would you not show up at her place of work in order to secure that contact information through a pickup attempt?
There are many girls in retail whom I had fancied over the years. But because of time constraint, I wasn’t able to chat them up initially in order to get their number.
Knowing where they work [this could be a cash-register girl at the mall or 1 of those shop-attendants], I would go back the following day just to pick them up.
If some clowns see this as thirsty and desperate; then so fucking be it!
I do this to get laid and not to please and try to impress men!
The half-ass approach
Half-ass approaches are also a plague for most men.
I don’t only mean this in a literal sense, but we are all familiar with the guy who approaches women, gets a lukewarm response then throw in the towel under the guise that the girl didn’t jump on his dick with full-on interest.
Dude- not every time the girl you approach will do back flips because you’d approached her.
In fact, she will rarely ever do proverbial back-flips.
Shit- if I took every lukewarm or indifferent response from chicks as a sign of disinterest [an SOD], I would probably be a poor-ass excuse for a seductionist!
A lukewarm reception upon approaching some women is often a test to see how interested you are.
If you exit stage left as she gives you the initial-meanish reception, then she’ll just surmise that you’re a giant-inept pussy who wasn’t worthy of her time anyway! So persisting is a no-brainer.
I’ve carried quite many of girls home who initially gave me the “WTH do you want” vibe.
The “I have money, fancy car and or good looks”, so women should just approach me” mentality
This is a very entitled mentality for any guy to have.
An entitled mentality is great to have! But not when it conflicts with nature and human evolution.
Money, possessions and good looks were never factored into the equation of getting laid in pre-historic times.
The boldest men got fucking laid!
Women hundreds, thousands to millions of years ago, were not choosing to mate with men because of what those men had [perhaps a fancy spear, gold-plated chest armour 😉 🙂 ] .
They passively presented themselves to the males who were most fearless, bravest and risk-worthy.
Since humans yesterday [millions of years of evolving] are still the same as today [mating and courtship-wise to be specific], the courtship and mating ritual remains the same at the core of it all.
It has just been spruced up somewhat, due to things such as fashion and cosmetics.
However, what attracted a girl yesterday [at the core], still stands correct today.
Having loads of money, driving a fancy-ass vehicle, possessing Brad Pitt looks, aren’t nearly enough to grant you the luxury of just propping up the bar and having random-hot bitches approach you, begging for their turn to suck your cock.
I mean, how many guys hit the bar, flash cash and spend like their middle name was Dinero, yet they go home alone pretty much every weekend out?
I know a handful and they are regulars at the spots I frequent.
The only thing flashing money and wealth will have accomplished you in the dating-market place, is to attract gold-diggers [the wrong type of women].
In light of all that, even if you do attract women by spending big, looking great and driving the priciest car: it isn’t game in the bag!
You have to shove dick into vagina for it to be considered a lay!
Most guys, no matter their perception of how to attract women, still suffer from the curses of passivity, inaction and failure to persist.
Hopefully from reading this article you will have learned the errors of your ways [being a social wussy] and how to correct them by simply doing the opposite of what you’ve always done.
You give up too fast?
You get turned off or turned down by the slightest bump in the road; push through the uncomfortable feeling!
Girl doesn’t respond to your text messages? After you would have exhausted every strategic avenue, from freezeouts to waiting and baiting yet no reciprocation; throw the kitchen sink at her!
What’s there to lose with going all out in the end?