Piña Colada Date To Sex: Friday Evening Field Report [NSFW]

Friday evening, I made my way to a familiar spot in the city called the Beehive.

Plan was to meet up with a chick whom I’d picked up on Facebook a few weeks back (another 1 😉 ).

I told her my location, she said she would meet me, and she did.

I ordered myself a Pina Colada and she took a Hurricane (how ironic since Hurricane Matthew had just passed the island the previous day).

Since it was our first time physically meeting, I was highly impressed by her comfort and easygoingness given the situation of meeting with a stranger.

I ate some fries as we drank our drinks while I caressed her thighs.

Caressing her thigh while I had her hand resting on my lap

On a side note: always look to sit beside your date instead of in front of her. Side to side; you get to do just as you see me doing in the photo above.

Girl: “You don’t even know if I have a boyfriend and you’re this bold to rub on me in public? What if someone sees me who knows my boyfriend”!?

She said exaggeratingly.

We then walked back to the crutty guest house, she sat on the bed and played Candy Crush while I took a quick shower since I hadn’t showered in like 24 hours!

I felt very leery about leaving her out there alone, not knowing whether these chicks have sticky fingers or what have you.

Thank goodness I remembered to hide my debit cards, mobile devices, other valuables and cash before I brought her over.

I jumped on the bed with her as she lie down playing games.

I immediate began caressing her thighs, hips and ass. I was able to take a pic at that exact moment.

She gave me massive LMR (Last Minute Resistance) from start to finish.

I rose her up by both hands and pulled her shirt over her head in order to remove it.

I tried un-hooking her bra but she kept stopping…so I relented and settled for playing with her tits while they were concealed in her brazier.

She had some big-ass jugs for her size (fondling her jugs…below).

I whipped my dick out, took her hand and placed it on my balls sack.

She began caressing my testes while I groped her boobs.

My fingers made their way down to her crotch area where I gently rubbed her pussy while she stroked my cock vigorously.

I motioned for her to put it in her mouth, but she refused and shook her head no.

I kept positioning myself on the bed in a way, which will facilitate an easy blowjob, but she just wouldn’t budge on sucking me.

A while later, my cock slid into her mouth and she sucked and sucked to the point where I felt as though I would cum in her mouth.

I was hoping that she would make me cum, I go down on her just to buy some time, gain another full erection, then fuck her for a long duration.

The thing is though: it is extremely difficult for a girl to make me cum via blowjob!

In fact, only 2 girl in my lifetime has ever achieved this feat of making me cum by sucking me.

This girl however, was so good, that she might have made the lucky #3 had she persisted just a tad bit more, but she kept complaining about her neck hurting from being contorted in an awkward position.

I dragged her up to a seated position and hauled her pants and panties off, and began finger fucking her as she urged me to suck her nipples harder!

She climaxed very hard from the sucking of her nipples!

I got over her in the missionary position while rubbing the head of my cock along her clit.

She thought I was about to slide my cock inside of her so she asked, “Where’s the condom”?

Although it is extremely easy to bang girls without condoms (as I used to do), I wasn’t about to chance it that night (Friday). So I got up, grabbed a rubber from out of my traveling bag, slid it onto my shlong and began fucking her missionary style.

She laid there motionless as if she wasn’t even feeling a thing.

I said to her, “what’s the matter with you”?

Girl: “I’m not enjoying it”.

Me: “How come”?

Girl: “I don’t know”.

She kept urging me to hurry up and cum as if she wanted this done and over with quick.

Personally, I am not the type of guy who takes light to a girl rushing me during sex, and if she isn’t enjoying the sex.

Now, what I think was happening as to why she wasn’t enjoying the sex, is this:

1.) Either she felt guilty that she was cheating on her boyfriend

2.) Since she had already climaxed when I was sucking on her nipples and finger-banging her, she might have lost the desire for sex…just as when a guy cums, sex is the last thing on his mind

My hunch tells me that it is the latter (#2).

In any case, I said to myself, “Fuck this bish! Whether she enjoys it or not isn’t my concern”! So I fucked her harder and harder in the missionary position until I came.

She grabbed me by the hips and pulled me back into her, urging me to put the dick back inside of her while I was cumming (inside the condom).

I did.

She aggressively gyrated her pussy upon my cock while she moaned louder and louder until she came again.

Upon climaxing, I was scheming a way to kick her out so I can go party. It was about 11:30 PM the Friday night. Still ample time to go clubbing and pick up some more girls.

Her ass dozed off though before I was able to kick her out. So I lay myself down beside her, hoping that she wakes up and leaves. Instead, she woke up, grabbed my arm and put it around her as if she were trying to tell me to cuddle her.

I reluctantly rested my arm around her waist and dozed off. 😦

Around 2 AM, I was startled by someone waking me. It was her: “Are you gonna follow me home”?

Me: “Oh yea, let’s go”!

Both of us hopped up and got dressed.

After I walked her down the bloc and parted ways, I made my way to the other side of the city to a Palestinian food joint where I got some late-night grub (stripped Shawarma chicken and fries).

When I woke up the Sunday morning around 7 AM, I realized that the network (Digicel) was down. So I had very limited to zero internet or cellular connection. I couldn’t make nor receive calls.

I was left to stealing some WIFI from an open-connection area downtown.

I had messages from the girl saying that I didn’t contact her to see if she was safe after she went home. So I let her know that the network (Digicel aka Digi) was fucked up due to the passing of hurricane Matthew I later found out was the cause of the downed systems across the island.

[Her messages in white]

More field reports to come from the weekend. 😉

Chick Freaks Out About Condom…During Sex [Thursday Night Field/Lay Report]

I was to hook up with a girl Thursday night, someone whom I’d met via Facebook about 2 weeks ago.

This was our 2nd sexual encounter within the last 10 days.

The Day1/1st encounter ended in shambles just as it did Thursday.

Okay, so what happened?

Here’s a post which I posted to my Facebook just after leaving the girl’s home.

This bish is fuqing crazy! Ever met a chick who’s super cautious and nervous when it comes to sex? This chick I picked up about 2 weeks ago takes the cake. This is our 2nd time going through this shit. I just put my clothes on and left this chick’s crib after she completely fucking killed my vibe by jumping off the dick and asking if I still have the condom on! Bish! Yes!!! I put the dick back in, she jumps off 5 seconds later and go…”Wait! You took the condom off”!? My cock is barely in the pussy for 2 seconds and the girl pulls my cock out to feel if the condom is still on!
No you cunt!!! She did that shit like 5 more times and my dick eventually died from the bullshit. I put my clothes on and left. Blocked her ass on Whatsapp messenger so that’s why she decided to Facebook me just now.

That was verbatim: the post I posted subsequent to leaving the chick’s place in annoyance.

I also simultaneously posted the same status to an RSD PUA Facebook group, just to get some feedback from the other guys there who can relate.



Now, here’s the screenshot of the conversation just after I barged out of her house.


Evidentially, I blocked her on Whatsapp so she decided to message me on Facebook, begging for me to return.

Why was I so pissed?

Not only was this the 2nd time in 10 days she’d freaked out and acted panicky as intercourse commenced. But I specifically warned her ass prior to coming over, that any such antic will NOT be tolerated for a 2nd time.

She agreed that it won’t happen.

Lo and behold: she had a panic attack as I was able to get an erection…which took me over an hour to achieve.

Words alone cannot describe how pissed I was after she kept pulling out and going, “did you take the condom off”!?

She was utterly convinced that I would either remove the condom midway, or that I have.

The thing is, it takes tremendous amounts of cock stimulation and mental fortitude for me to gain and keep an erection while wearing a condom.

The lack of natural sensation which one gets from raw vaginal to penile connection, causes me to go limp. So I really have to have my mind into it, or the girl has to have a mean fucking blowjob game.

In any case, I had managed to get hard on both botched occasions, but the constant state breaks caused by the girl stopping and pulling away, only made the situation worse until I ultimately got pissed off…which facilitated the nosediving of my cock.

To add insult to injury, while going limp as she pulled away while in the doggy position, she says to me, ” Why don’t I get on top of you and ride you”?

“Hello!!!! How the fuck are you going to ride my cock when it’s soft”!!!

I shouted at her in dismay!

I put my shit on, slammed her door and left while she protested for me to stay by trying to physically bar me off.

What a Thursday night it was with this chick whom I picked up on Facebook 2 weeks ago.

I since deleted her # and moved on from it…though she keeps blowing up my phone with SMS and calls.

Just for shits and giggles, having a girl chase you to come back in order to have sex, is an empowering sensation, to know that you can walk out on a hot girl and have her beg you to return.

I guess that’s the bright side to this botched lay.


The Weirdest Lay Situation Of My Life…EVER [June 13th Lay Report]

I’m not sure whether to share this field/lay report because of the situation surrounding it.

Screw it!

Monday night, just before midnight actually, I get a friend request on Facebook from a female cop.

Although I have a thing for cops as far as a fetish, I wasn’t expecting to be friend requested by one of them.

It was so uncharacteristic that I wasn’t sure whether to accept or decline.


Minutes later upon accepting the friend request, my messenger app goes off: someone is calling me…the cop. 😯

How I knew she’s a cop is because I skimmed her profile and seen visual and textual proof.

I answered but the call was dropped.

I then get the following message below.


The person (the cop) then calls back.

I figured it would’ve been the female cop on the line. It was at first:

The cop: “Hi. Sorry for adding you just like that. But a friend of mines have a crush on you and she’s been checking you out on Facebook”.

I was taken aback for certain.

I didn’t know whether this was some sort or prank or if I were being punk’d.

She then puts the girl on the phone: the girl who supposedly had an FB crush on me.

At that time, it was just about 12 AM the Tuesday morning as you can see from the screenshot above.

As weird as it seemed, I was somewhat flattered by the weirdness of the occasion.

We talked for about 5 minutes until she got straight to the point:

Girl: “Would you like to come over? I’m home alone for now. My friend [the cop] is leaving just now”.

I wasn’t sure how to answer this.

For all I know, she’s a mammoth of a girl: an unsightly one for that matter.

No doubt she was DTF as hell: so was I. But I had to get a visual of her first before I commit to possibly fucking her.

She then rings me on IMO messenger video app so I can see exactly how she stacks up in the looks department.


Not bad.

I’ve seen worse.

She wasn’t the most adorable-looking hen in the troupe, but she did pass my boner test.

Not to mention that I was actually up watching amateur porn on my smartphone. So I was already in the head space of shagging someone.

Here’s a willing participant, not so cute, not the best body as far as my idea type goes, but “why the fuck not”, I rationalized to myself.

I then give her the nod: “I will come over”.

She gave me her address (over the phone) and other logistical details of how to get to her place.

Having heard the name of the street, I knew it wasn’t that far (about a 35 minute walk).

I quickly grabbed the fastest shower known to man (I basically washed my dick and balls alone), hauled on some sweat pants and ran out the door like Speedy Gonzales.

“Walk, run or ride”?

Walking would take 30-35 minutes.

I don’t own a vehicle so driving is out of the question.

Run? I would be breathless by the time I get there.


“A bike”!

I hopped on my neighbor’s bicycle and decided to peddle the way. 😆 🙂

“Oh what a man will do for a little poon-tang”.

I peddled as fast as I could but the fucking bike was going slower than an old lady crossing an empty street.

Since I hadn’t ridden a bike in months, my thighs were frikkin’ burnt out within 2 bloc’s ride.

“Holy shit I’m winded”!!!

Halfway there, I began having 2nd thoughts.

“What if this is some kinda setup”?

“What if these bitches are trying to rob me”?

I quickly allayed those trepidations once I reminded myself that a female cop was behind this all. So I doubt she would’ve orchestrated a plot with mal-intentions (though crooked cops are rampant in the Caribbean islands).

In a way, I now knew what celebrities feel like when having to deal with stalkers, ardent fans and secret admirers.

Shit’s a bit scary to be honest!

You never know what is going through some fan’s head.

After all, this total stranger has been crushing on me through Facebook, yet she never added me personally, nor do I know if she even owns a Facebook.

For all I know, she could be some old-ass lady in a wheelchair about to croak, looking for some farewell cock.

You never know!

I proceeded anyway.

Got to her building, rang her through messenger (I rang the cop actually, and she relayed the message that I was outside).

Weird to say the least.

Either I’m gonna be killed or killing some pussy.

The girl comes out- well- not actually out out, but she flags me over from behind a screen-like thingy while I stood on the sidewalk.

I entered the building to where she lived on the first floor. It was pitch-ass dark might I add! I couldn’t even make out the girl’s face, let alone get a perfect view of her shape.

We made our way to a bedroom and the rest was history [sparing you the details].

On a 1-10 scale (sex), I give it an 8. This speaks volumes since I haven’t had decent sex in months.

It always strikes me as ironic that the not-so-hot girls are always awesome in bed, while the hotter the girl, the more the sex will have sucked.

The reason for this is because hot-hot girls never had a reason to have to perform in bed since they get preferential treatment from their Beta-provider type boyfriends. Hence, they become spoiled, lazy and lackadaisical in the sack.

Be as it may, we quickly wrapped up and I existed the building after 1 AM.

Screenshot below (her texts in white).


I guess the “anyone saw you” part was because she has a BF, or didn’t want anyone who might have known her to see me emerge from her place?

All in all; the weirdest lay experience ever…at least that I can recall.

Moreover, what made such a lay possible though?

My Facebook: a chick magnet.

Guys- my FB isn’t anything special.

There’s nothing intrinsically different with my page and yours.

What makes my page attractive to women is the shit that I post and the interesting dialogues that my posts generate.

See ya!

4 Lays In 4 Days…Friday Lay Report With DTF Chick

Ok, here we go!

One of the girls I contacted on Tagged yesterday evening turned into a super-solid prospect whom I end up shagging last night.

The “4 Lays in 4 Days” mission now stands at 1 for 2: one girl slept with out of 2 nights thus far.

As I write this post, it is now 6:30 PM on Saturday night.

As expected, I have plans tonight with girls #3 of 4.

Before I get into that (tonight’s rendezvous), let’s backtrack to last night…the chat-log.

After picking up the girl yesterday at the last second on Tagged, she messaged me on Whatsapp.

The chat-log below [her texts in white. Mines in green].


I got straight to the point, knowing she was ultra DTF.


Yep- logistics were handled.

Honestly speaking, I was leery about this move [though I’m always taking such risks].

There I was going to see a girl in a strange village that I never been to before.

For all I know, it could’ve turned out bad for me…but I still went through.

I must say that it was the worst sex ever.

It had nothing to do with her but me.

My cock couldn’t maintain an erection.

In fact, I hardly got hard [no pun intended].

What I surmise is that I was tense and somewhat nervous that I was so far outside of my comfort zone (a strange village), and not knowing whether this girl had bad intentions or not, so this played into the overall situation in a negative sense on my part.

Anyway, so we had about 2 minutes of penetration until my cock eventually went limp limp (though it was never rock solid to begin with).

She gave me a blowjob in hopes to resuscitate the cock but to no avail.

That chick couldn’t suck to save her life!

WTF is up with these girls nowadays and these mediocre-ass blowjobs!?

The last 15 or so girls I met who happened to go down on me, were all amateurish at cock-sucking! 😡 😡

With this girl, the more she sucked, the more limp my dick became!

I honestly wanted to tell her to get the fuck off of me!

I became semi-erect a bit afterwards, so she pulled out another condom and slid it on me but I was only able to manage about 20 seconds more of penetration before it died again. 😦

Anxiety and nerves are a muthafucka!!! 😡

I simply called it a night and left with the condom still on my dick up until the time I woke up this morning (Saturday).

I honestly forgot that the condom was still on my phallic object.

In any case; it still counted as a lay, though I bombed. 😦

With that, the count is 1 for 4 so far. Tonight (Saturday), I have a chance to make it 2 for 4: 2 lays in 4 days with tonight being the 3rd attempt.

At the moment, I am typing up this post from a bar and grill joint as I sip on a Pina Colada.

The photo below was taken in real time.


Stay posted for the next article which will feature my entire Friday night before and after I (sorta) banged this girl.

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