In keeping with a recent article which dealt with physical escalation, KINO (touching) and getting sexual with women, I put together a short post just to compliment that theme as an added mindset shift for those guys who are lacking in that department.
Failure to act now and early, begets further inaction and more escalation anxiety.
The longer you wait the more things get awkward.
Trust me: I speak from experience on this.
It’s no different than procrastination on a workout or hitting the gym.
The more you put it off for later by saying, “I’ll hit the gym tomorrow when there’s less people there”, the greater the chances that you won’t hit the gym at all.
This plagues all of us to some degree, at some time.
The only way to finally get to it is to…just do it! To just do it without thinking about it!
There’s a little saying in pickup: “when in doubt about making the move; just do it”!
Whenever doubt creeps into your mind; that’s the moment to just do it!
Your mind will talk you out of anything and everything. Allowing yourself time to think and ponder is almost always the kiss of death when it comes to making a move on a woman for example!
Here are few things that will have managed to talk you out of making a move. You might be aware of them:
•THE MORE YOU KNOW ABOUT THE GIRL
Contrary to popular belief, the more you get to know/learn about the girl, the more iffy you become with the idea of making a move on her.
You may begin to say stuff to yourself like:
“This girl is so profession in her field. If I make a move on her now, she will think I’m an unprofessional loser who’s beneath her”.
“This girl’s very religious. Making a move on her will make her see me as this insensitive jerk who doesn’t even care about her spirituality”.
“This girl’s an Orthodox Muslim. They don’t believe in sex before marriage”.
“I just learned that she just broke up with her boyfriend who’s a wanton cheater who treated her like trash. If I try to make a move on her now, she’ll perceive me in the same way…that I’m a womanizing scum like her ex”!
Such internal dialogue and questioning happens, whenever you get to learn more about a girl whom you’d just met.
During the “get to know each other” process, you may discover that she is wanting to dabble in celibacy. And if you were to make a move on her, she would reject and resent you for doing so, knowing that she wants to go the celibate route.
None of that is connected anyway. However, our minds- the male’s mind- puts all those things together and determine that making a move now, would be ill-timing. So “it’s best I wait until the next day…or next week…or when the moment looks better”. 😦
Tomorrow comes, you meet up with the girl again; things get a tad bit more awkward than the previous day- unbeknownst to you- all because you had gotten to know more things about her.
Hence, the less you know about her (and vice versa), the better it is for escalation purposes!
•THE AGE FACTOR
Another contributing factor towards your escalation anxiety is the girl’s age.
The older the girl, the greater the tendency to want to take it slow(er).
This happens out of fear, reverence and respect for women who are older than you.
Somewhat, guys tend to think that maturer women need to be coddled, deified, pedestalized, “respected” and treated differently, solely based on their age.
Accompanying this, is a misconception that older women- for instance, MILF’s and Cougars [let’s just say women over 35]- aren’t predisposed to casual sex.
Hence, “I must take it real real slow before I offend her”.
With that being said, if you’re a younger guy who has a preference for seducing maturer women, but you haven’t ventured there as yet, I can imagine the anxiety and fear you have in regards to this.
However, as someone who’s been there, done that, countless amounts of time; I can tell you for certain that your fear is irrational, and the girl’s age doesn’t dictate her responses to the seduction attempt.
As a quasi-mind hack, here’s how to handle this with excruciating ease:
Imagine that the girl was NOT older, and not out of your league as far as age is concerned!
The mind is a very powerful computer as we all know!
It can psyche you out, psyche you up and make or break you in ever facet of life.
It is easy to manipulate (your mind), change and alter it in positive and negative ways.
Simply telling yourself- or your mind- that the girl in front of you, in spite of the fact that she’s 15 years your senior, wants to fuck your brains out, has the real potential to spur you into action with disregard for what you believed prior.
Now, the reason this hack works is simple: generally, one isn’t intimidated by persons younger than him or her.
Experience factor, in relation to age, are what causes massive amounts of anxiety in humans.
What do I mean?
Generally, if you’re younger in age, you have less experiences in life. Hence, there are less reasons for others [older] to be intimidated by you.
I mean, no established worker would get intimidated by a novice or trainee, fresh out of school, on the job for the 1st time.
Why so? Because he or she would’ve had minimal to zero experience in that work field.
However, if the new hire were an experienced person in the field, with 10+ years of experience, quite naturally, he or she would carry a bit (or lot) of intimidation factor around the workplace.
Saying that mouthful to say: experience and age [the girl being older], usually intimidate men when it comes to women whom they’re vying to seduce.
Perhaps she’s been wih hotter guys, guys who were stellar in bed, guys who were toting 15 inch zip-line cocks, etc.
How would you compare and compete with that!?
If you want a temporary fix/hack for this: simply envision a girl with less to no experience. Someone who’s younger preferably.
Enter the situation, the meetup,etc. with the belief that you’re meeting someone who doesn’t know her way around the bedroom.
You as the one with at least some experience, you will likely be the more confident one in the interaction.
Therefore, you have to psyche yourself out!
•The THINGS SHE SAYS MAY PSYCHE YOU OUT
In addition to the point I touched on about the more you know about the girl, the greater the chance of anxiety, guys tend to get psyched out by the things women say; for instance, their social-media posts.
Women are notorious for posting things to social media that they don’t believe for a second!
However, as an outside observer- the guy- you’re bound to get dissuaded as you fall into the trap of buying into shit women post/say.
What are some examples?
The girl whom you’re looking to seducing, may post to Facebook that she hates men who are cocky.
From this, you may interpret that to mean that she hates men who goes for it with confidence, since that may come off as cocky. So because of that, you talk yourself out of taking action, afraid that she would reject you.
Well- I’m here to say that you should NOT take women seriously when it comes to the stuff that spews out of their mouth!
•GET A STATE BOOST FROM A GUY WHO’S GOOD WITH WOMEN
Another tip that works phenomenally in spurring you into action, is to get a state boost through a guy who’s a player.
In other words: act vicariously through someone whom you know is a ladies’ man!
As kids- little boys- we would watch a karate flick or some ass-kicking cartoon, then as soon as it concludes, we spring up off of the couch and begin to imitate a particular character in the film or animation show.
We throw kicks, punches, do flips, etc!
That was all due to a state boost which we got from the program just viewed.
As grown men, at least in my experience, we can still access this proverbial reservoir for a positive boost, by living vicariously through an idol, or someone whom we look up to.
Now, I’m not advising you that you try to become that other person in any genuine or long-term fashion. But just for the moment and in the moment, as you enter the situation.
As for myself, personally, whenever I’m feeling non-confident and iffy about making certain moves pertaining to women, I envision player-type guys whom I know, know of, or seen in action before, and that alone would give me the added boost as I subconsciously ask myself, “What would that player guy do”?
Then “BAAM”! I wake up and take decisive action!
•THE MOMENTUM TRAIN
If you could pull it off with 1 girl, you can pull it off with another.
In pickup, this is equivalent to “being in state” or being in the zone (if you were an athlete).
Some days ago, I stopped by this girl’s workplace since I was in the vicinity to begin with.
I began flirting with her heavily, grabbed her by the waist and tried to kiss her on the neck while she playfully pulled away.
At 1 point as she peered down into her smartphone while I held her with a hand, I cupped her ass with the other hand (to her surprise) and spanked it somewhat hard.
She pulled back, smiled, laughed and looked at me in astonishment because I slapped her on the behind.
Needless to say, that planned encounter concluded on that note, but I just remembered I had another chick to whom to pay a visit.
Hence, I bolted towards that aim: “see chick #2 at her workplace”.
I got there, brimming with confidence from the way I manhandled girl #1 whom I’d just visited about 15-20 minutes earlier. Not that I really needed any momentum boost to begin with, but I’m merely sharing this episode as means for you guys to get things going.
Anyway, so when I met girl 2 whom I’d been gaming on and off for about 4 weeks, I immediately went for her hand…to her surprise.
She was taken-aback, but in a positive sense.
The state boost that I had from escalating on the previous girl, rolled over into this set.
Moreover, 1 of my favorite sayings from the seduction community is, “Emotions are contagious”.
In other words; the girl feels what you feel.
Hence, when you come into the set brimming with confidence to get physical with the girl (and by “physical”, I mean touchy), this positive state also transfers onto the girl.
You’re effectively in the zone!
All in all; you want to take action early- NOW- or else it will get awkward!