“Why is this important for me to learn or be aware of”?
This is the most general question I get thrown at me (via e-mail and social media) whenever I talk about getting sexual with women.
The obvious answer to this question is that you (the guy) will have to transition to a sexual state in order to sub-communicate to the woman that you’re feeling randy about her and would love to fuck her brains out!
Verbalizing this intention will not get you far…at least not when you’re coming from the male’s logical standpoint.
The thing that most men fail to realize is that women operate on suggestive, implied and insunuative levels.
In other words, or for example, if you were to say to a girl:
“I like you”.
It wouldn’t be as powerful as if this wasn’t said at all, rather sub-communicated and implied.
Women more react to what is NOT said that what is said.
Saying to a girl: “I wanna fuck you”, won’t have a greater psychological impact as if you made this know through implications and insinuations.
All in all, in order to sleep with a woman, you [the guy] must convey a sexual state which will in turn get her into a sexual state.
If you’ve never done this before, or have no clue of what the fuck I’m talking about, I’m here to tell you that as long as you’re NOT a virgin and have had sex at least on 1 prior occasion [prostitutes don’t count]: you will have done this before.
Alright, we’ve already dealt with why it’s massively important and a must that you project a sexualized state.
Most of us (male and females) aren’t aware of this, hence we are unable to detail just what sexualization is, how it looks and its existential attributes.
Therefore, telling you that you should practice this sounds like a mute point.
Firstly, when do we (as men) get into a sexual state?
When your cock gets hard at the mere sight of a hot girl strutting down the bloc with enough cleavage showing that you could drown in there. 😯
It’s the physiological feeling and sensation you get once turned on by a woman, porn or whatever gets you sexually excited.
This feeling induces a sexualized state aka sexualization.
It’s an admixture of horniness, lust with a dash of desperation on the side [had to throw that 1 in for good measures]. 😉
If you generally want to have sex with a girl and are sexually excited by her; this will show!
It’s next to impossible to conceal this state (sexualized) since the subjects are almost never aware of it [can’t change what you can’t see].
On a further note, it’s really difficult for one to conscious manufacture this state or mimic it, which is why you’re here with Kenny as your proverbial guide in bringing this to fruition. 😉 😉
Just as it’s difficult to mimic a confident state since confidence isn’t a tangible entity but a state of being, with sexualization however, since it’s part verbal and physical (body-language cues), it’s easy to execute [I know I just contradicted the shit out of the previous paragraph].
Practicing A Sexual State
As I mentioned earlier: everything should be implied and suggested.
Nothing overt (sexually).
This isn’t a rule but more of a guideline for now until you become fluent in the art of sexualization.
In order to practice, you’ll need a female subject at some point but for now, we’ll deal with you and you only.
If you have a mirror at home (which you should); stand or sit in front of it.
You’ll be staring at yourself or at least at your face for this exercise.
For guidance, I made a video a while back illustrating “bedroom eyes” and sexualization.
Watch it and learn!
In addition to that, you want to mimic those facial gestures (the eyes particularly) as to mines in the video above.
When you’re looking at the girl and interacting with her through normal conversation, you want to summon the bedroom eyes.
Remember- you don’t have to wait for the right moment to do this.
It doesn’t have to be a flirty or sexual conversation.
She could be blabbing away about a bitchy coworker or the latest action movie she wants a chode to take her to see; you still want to build a sexual state while interacting.
If you haven’t known, a woman doesn’t have to talk about sex in order to think sex.
If she senses your sexually induced state (subconsciously); she will begin to feel sexual or think sex, in spite of the conversational topic being asexual.
Practice: Phase 2
For this 1; you’ll need to be in the presence of a female opposed to the mirror routines which you’d done previously.
You might be asking yourself: “Where the heck am I supposed to find a girl as a willing-test subject”?
The answer is: everywhere!
This is practice, which means you won’t have to actually be in the presence of a girl whom you’re trying to get with.
You don’t have to be out on a date neither.
Simply interacting with a female coworker will suffice.
Any situation which allows you 5 or more minutes worth of conversation time will work just fine!
Even if this’ a girl who had friendzoned you.
Just find a fucking female who’s willing to have a brief, innocent chitchat with you!
Now you’re gonna utilize the bedroom eyes which you’d learned (and practiced) in the previous passage.
In conjunction, you’ll be altering your tone of voice and pitch.
Remember- through normal and non-sexual conversation you’ll be doing these things.
The key here is “Lower and Deeper”.
Check out this small scene of Leonardo DiCaprio [Howard] in the Aviator when he’s addressing the cigarette girl [at the 1 minute mark of the video].
This illustrates a great example of lower and deeper vocal tonality (+ dominant eye contact).
Also take note of his head being slightly tilted as he addresses her.
In a nutshell [from the 1 scene], 4 powerful components of a sexualized state were present:
1.) Head tilt
2.) Dominant-eye contact
3.) Dimmed eyes [as my video above illustrated]
4.) Lowered and Deepen voice
Notice how Leonardo’s eyes squinted and head cocked to 1 side in exaggeration?
How about his lower and deeper voice?
You want to aim to strike that medium!
Now, we have the tendency to get in our heads trying to prefect things.
Perfection isn’t a prerequisite!
Your voice doesn’t have to be the perfect pitch or volume on cue.
Just ensure that you stick to the deep and low script whenever projecting a sexual state.
Your voice will have gotten deeper, more subdued, heavier and slower.
Let’s visualize a bedroom scenario where you’re lying in bed with your girlfriend or just any-old girl for reference sake.
When raising the temperature to have sex, one doesn’t (normally) yell, scream and get loud.
This is anti-sexual and stupid to be honest.
When in heat or state of sexual arousal, you tend to speak lower, slower and deeper.
The volume doesn’t go up but down!
With this as your guideline, while in normal conversation where you desire to build a sexual state, you should speak as though you’re in the bedroom: lower, slower and deeper.
You also want to tilt your head to the side or slant it a bit (to either side) as the head-shot photos of myself depict.
Slow-hand gestures with the head tilted
Exaggerated head tilt
Slight tilt which is still fine
Doing so also induce the sexual state opposed to positioning your head in an upright-vertical position as the photo below.
Vertical/non-sexual head position
Little do you know, whenever someone (male or female) gets into a subconscious-sexual state, his-her head naturally tilts to 1 side when talking with or listening to the person who’s turning him or her on (by no fault of that person).
If you’re keen on this, you will have noticed that a girl’s head almost always cocks to the side when she’s feeling randy and in heat [see below photo]:
Both person’s mirroring each other’s tilted-head positioning
It’s extremely hard to spot these physical nuances while in conversation since you won’t really have the time to zoom in on such innocuous occurrences.
Females also do this, which she will then mirror you by tilting her head to 1 side.
On a side note: if a guy were to tilt his head to the side and speak cheerfully with you, assuming you’re a heterosexual male, you will immediate feel weirded out as if a guy is coming onto you. Hence, the tilted head and cheery smile is reserved for male-female interactions (or gay couples). 2 straight males would immediately sound the gay-alarms.
Ok, back to the topic at hand!
Your gestures should be slower.
If typically when talking you’re accustomed to using hand gestures, you want to slow them down as if moving in slow motion.
As a heads up: you will not come off as robotic!
The girl will have zero clue as to what you’re doing. So fear not that she’ll be consciously analyzing your movements and call you out on them.
In fact, she won’t even notice at all, which is why it’s so powerful.
As for practice, since you’re now armed with the tools of what it takes to build a sexual state, you should willfully incorporate those steps into your everyday conversations with women.
If it’s a girl whom you’re truly sexually excited about, then you won’t have to do a thing in order to get yourself in a sexual state.
Your body language and subliminal cues will have already clicked as if flipped by an automated switch.
The purpose of this article is just to get you in-tuned with your sexual state, how to recognize it and how to summon it on demand.
The spill-off effect is that emotions and states are contagious.
What that means in non-seduction community terms is that whichever emotional state you’re in while interacting with someone; they will almost always feel it too and ping off of it (or vice versa).
Therefore, if you’re angry or sullen and having a conversation in that state with another person, they will empathize with your angry or sullen state which will infect them unconsciously.
Likewise, if you’re feeling horny and sexual and you present/project this state unto the girl to whom you’re talking; she too will feel your sexual energy and sexual state.
Emotions and states are transferable and contagious!
People don’t just become horny or sexually excited out of thin air.
They subconsciously pick up cues from their immediate environment.
Just as we don’t just become hungry out of thin air, but due to an external stimulus which we weren’t aware of: the smell of food, a TV commercial, etc.
Therefore, whenever interacting with a woman, bear in mind that she feels what you feel!
Whichever emotional state you bring to the table: sexual, horny, sad, vexed, crying, sulky, down, excited…she will feel it (unknowingly)!
Women who disagree with this aren’t in denial instead they just aren’t aware of these subconscious cues just as you weren’t aware of them prior to this article.
Guys who get laid a lot are masters at projecting and building sexual state- unbeknownst to them.
Guys who fail to get laid on a consistent basis are POOR at sexualization.
Make note of the correlation.
A great article on sexualization was written by my buddy a while ago, Steve Jabba, a Pickup coach out of England: Sexual Energy: A Huge Piece Of The Missing Puzzle
Now, this entire article begs the question: “Do I need to elicit a sexual state in order to sleep with girls or merely make out with them”?
Some men naturally walk around in a sexualized state or are able to summon and project this state unto women instantly without having to work it up as this article advises.
Perfect illustration is the infamous video of Steve Jabba (the PUA coach), where he made out with a Colombian girl within 4 minutes of meeting her on the streets on London.
From the video: nothing looks grandeur nor obvious to the naked eye, but everything is subtle as should be.
Was Steve in a sexualized state?
Did he have to build it?
After years of practicing and fine tuning these things, you’ll naturally attain this level of awareness and acuity where you’re able to project your sexual feeling unto women without verbalizing it 1 bit.
Make sure to implement the steps in this article and you’ll soon attain that mark!
In a future post, I’ll deal with body positioning and proximity which tie into everything you’d learned here.