How Not To Chat Up Girls On Social Media [6 Critical Mistakes]

A female friend had earlier shared the following screenshot with me.

Some more “How not to chat up girls on social media” tidbit.

This guys here is a classic and common example of what not to do.

Mistake #1: The over-use of “Baby”.

Mistake #2: trying to force rapport by telling her he wants to get to know her.

There’s nothing inherently wrong with telling a girl you want to get to know her. The problem comes in when you give the girl zero reasons to want to get to know you.

This guy’s opener/ice-breaker was essentially, “I want to get to know you “. Huge Mistake since he hasn’t built any attraction material by giving the girl a reason with something interesting.

Mistake #3: again, pushing for instant rapport by asking her where she’s from. Additionally, one can access the FB “about me” section in order to see that info. So why ask!? It makes you look like an inept jackass; someone lacking Social Intelligence! Something you’ve seen me stress hard over the past days (social intelligence). So, asking questions you can easily ascertain by looking @ the girl’s profile, will turn women off. It makes you seem lazy, and robs the girl of that special feeling that she was singled out, and that the guy actually did some homework.

Mistake #4: “I am single”! Telling a girl on social media that you’re single, is tantamount to saying, “I’m a registered sex-offender”. Like…”why are you single dude”? The girl may say to herself. Perhaps you’re a fucking serial killer or a lunatic, hence why you’re single, and no women want to associate themselves with you. So, as I’ve been telling you guys for ages; Never tell girls you’re single! If anything, tell her you have a GF, but you’re just looking cool ppl to hang with”. Or, tell her you have a GF, but it’s complicated…or the relationship isn’t working out. But never tell girls you’re single. Only sex offenders, rapists, serial killers, men with AIDS and lunatics are single. Okay!? Think Preselection!

Mistake #5: “Looking a good woman to be with”. Why is that a mistake? Dude, see why the fuck are you auditioning to become her man, before even having a convo or before fucking!? What if the girl isn’t looking for a relationship? Yet, he killed himself by putting himself into the boyfriend/provider category from the jump, instead of casually going with a, “let’s just chat and see if we like each other” vibe. So, never tell a girl that you’re looking for a GF! Because once she says to you, “I’m not looking for anything serious right now”, you are fucking done! You cannot then go back and say to her, “well…since you’re not tryna get serious…let’s fuck”.

Mistake #6…the most fatal: Ringing someone unannounced through Messenger! As a guy; this pisses me off when women do it. Imagine how women feel when 20 no-game-having Beta-Males are doing it daily! You have to fucking have Empathy in the Game guys! Don’t be a dick! Only call when it’s been agreed upon!

All in all; the guy made 6 common mistakes (some fatal). He isn’t the exception BTW. He’s the norm!

Now, on the flip side, I totally get the opposing argument that girls on FB are always complaining that they’re single, yet their inbox is full of guys trying to get to know them. I understand that rational argument too. But that’s no excuse for HORRIBLE social skills!

If you want to learn how to do this the right way; get coaching over Skype with me. 

Get Skype coaching with Coach Kay

Quit Being A Stipid Jackass And Get Her # The Right Way!

I know I’ve said that grabbing a girl’s phone number is quite useless in an age where social media dominates communication.

However, if you’re gonna attempt to grab a girl’s number; then do it right dammit!

The chick from the previous post who’s notorious for trolling and calling out men who display lame-ass game, posted the following status.

By the way, she copied this style of mines from reading my statuses where I would post short mock conversations between a girl and a guy.

Needless to say, she makes a great point in pointing out how lame guy’s game is.

I talked about this in the past and how stupid it is to try to go for a number close without building attraction.

Most guys approach getting a girl’s # as though it’s a fucking sprint!

They virtually go from opener to attempted # close within 1 swoop!

In the “trying to meet girls” game, you have the guy who never pulls the trigger. And then you have the guy who squeezes too quickly.

Both extremes are regressive and quite stupid to be frank.

Here’s another example which the same girl had posted yesterday to Facebook.

What was the mistake that this guy made?

He went from opener to trying to get her phone # (asking if she has Whatsapp) within # swoop, before having built anything, let alone some attraction. Not to mention that the girl was literally blowing him off by acting like a dick with replies such as: “I’m from Earth”, “Minding my business”, “Check back next week” (in relation to getting her #). How foolish can you get by trying to get a girl’s # on a downward spiral!?

Unfortunately, most guys do this! They gun for the # as a last ditch effort before things implode. But why would a girl give you her # when she’s acting like a total bitch towards you?

She won’t! But it’s a clear sign of desperation and ineptitude on any guy’s part, when he displays such shitty game and lack of social intelligence, by asking lame interview-type questions to nowhere, then rapidly topping it off with a lame-shit effort at swapping numbers.

Here’s the other thing: the lamest and most annoying thing you could ever ask a girl (one whom you don’t know personally) is, “what you doing”?

What the girl is doing shouldn’t mean shit to you. Hence, you shouldn’t ask!

Secondly, by asking a girl, “what are you doing” as an opener, clearly shows that you have nothing much to provide the girl via conversation. You’re basically leeching off of her state, disposition and her current situation. So that is why girls get annoyed whenever a guy asks, “Sup. What u doing”?

Additionally, being asked the frikkin’ obvious is also another pet peeve of women.

Online, it isn’t that difficult to find out where someone is from, lives or have lived.

That info is usually clearly visibly on the person’s Profile. Or you could easily find that out by tapping “about”. So asking a girl the lame-ass interview-type question, “where you’re from”, will often times elicit a negative reaction within the girl’s mind, especially if this information could’ve been easily ascertained by a 2 second scan of her profile.

In any case, this sort of horrible game should be called out.

Going from opener/ice-breaker to “can I have your #”, is akin to shifting gears in a manual-transmission vehicle, straight from 1st to 5th: you just won’t get anywhere but a wrecked transmission and gear box.

In closing, I just wished to have cautioned you guys about the many follies and pitfalls in game (or having a lack of game).

In this case, it is in respect to securing a number.

This should be done wisely and strategically!

Before successfully securing a girl’s phone number, you will have had to build a sufficient amount of attraction in order to make this happen.

This varies from girl to girl (the amount of attraction material needed). But by all means, you’re going to look real stupid going for the phone number within seconds of chatting to the girl.

Not to harp on the obvious, but the reason why the vast majority of men rush for the phone number is because they do not trust themselves to not run out of things to say. So they go from, “Hi what’s your name”, to, “Can I get your #”, because they don’t have anything to say between those 2 points.

On that note, you may like this video of mines which deals with that point in detail.

Perfect Example Of Setting The Wrong Frame With Girls Online

Now, over the past week or so, you’ve been subjected to posts after posts, examples after examples, of how to set the right frame with women.

The “Right Frame” constitutes of a “Sexual” and forward vibe.

The wrong frame would be a friendly, platonic vibe.

As if by freak coincidence and awesome timing, this morning, I received an e-mail from a fan of mines who watches my pick-up videos on Youtube.

He had a question about gaming girls on Tinder.

Here’s his e-mail with my reply below.

I instantly knew the mistake that he could’ve been committing with women over Tinder.

He replied in agreement that it could be that.

There’s no other explanation but that.

Guys fail to set the “I wanna fuck you” frame when chatting up new girls; be it on the streets, social circle or online.

Guys give off 2 distinct vibes:

1.) Platonic friends

2. Boyfriend vibe

Tinder, although I refuse to use it, simply because I get laid too often already from Facebook, it is a hook-up site.

Guys generally aren’t aware of this (that girls use Tinder to hook up).

Thus, men in general use Tinder as though the women on there are desperately trying to find friends, or boyfriend material.

Always assume that women want to hook up!

Let them prove to you otherwise: regardless of the venue or medium!

That should be your rule of thumb as it is for me!

With that in mind, this e-mailer’s failure to get laid on Tinder, is due to the fact that he’s giving off the wrong vibe by setting the wrong frame with the wrong approach.

This is the same issue encountered by guys who get friendzoned. If you’re getting friendzoned at all, it means that you’re giving off a friendly vibe.

Additionally, if you’re encountering situations where girls ultimately reject your advances, it likely boils down to the fact that you’re giving off a relationship type of vibe. And if the girl isn’t looking for that, then you are fucking history!

Therefore, whenever you check out my approaches, do I ever set a relationship or boyfriend frame?

Do I give women the impression that I’m looking for something serious, exclusive or long-term?

Fucks no!!!!

Far from it!

I wisely give off the hookup vibe!

Here’s the beauty also: you don’t exactly have to get sexual and forward with women in order to give off a “let’s hook up” vibe.

Being humorous and playful will often create a fun and carefree vibe. That’s why you’d always see me bantering, cracking jokes, making the girl laugh, teasing her, etc.

Being friendly, which sets a platonic friend frame, you will never see me do that either!!!

Being humorous isn’t the same thing as being friendly and nice!

Although I’m very humorous, I am never nice! I never give off this nice-guy vibe.

What constitutes a nice-guy friendly vibe which lands you in the friend zone?

Talking to the OYD (Object of You Desires) about her job, her career, what she wants to do in life, her kids and their schooling, her boyfriend issues, family problems, etc.

Those topics will lead you to the dreaded friendzone. And they also have the potential to give off the boyfriend vibe.

Lastly, lots of guys out there are petrified of going sexual and setting a sexual frame, because they’re under the illusion that it’ll make them come off as weird.

What this really is, is that guys are so pussified, that they cannot imagine ever getting sexually forward with a total stranger.

Hence, the thought alone of doing so, deters most guys.

It isn’t that they have empirical datum that proves through trail and error that this approach is a no no. They assert that to themselves out of fear; fear of offending.

In any case, you may like the following short post which will give you some insights into my mind and my approach to new women whom I pick up.

Here’s an awesomely insightful video from Todd Valentine on this subject.

How Not To Comment On An Entitled Girl’s Photos

Most girls who register above a 5 on the proverbial HB-looks scale, do feel a sense of entitlement, and expect to be lauded with praises of fondness from hoards of men drooling at their feet.

Every girl on social media expects this, and does get this royalty treatment.

A huge component of my pick-up method is equipping you guys with the tools necessary to flip this script and rob entitlement junkies (women) of their fix!

Now, I’m not saying to be mean to women. Just don’t inflate their egos and sense of entitlement larger than that they already are.

Anyway, I’ve dealt with this subject various times in the past. But an encore as a quick reminder is always welcoming.

Whenever I leave a comment on a girl’s status or photo, I expect a reply. I think it’s safe to say we all do!

It isn’t that I “need” a reply, nor that I’m sitting around anticipating a girl’s reply to a comment I made on her stuff. That is what most guys do. They wait for reciprocation from the girl.

Whenever I message a girl, or leave a comment on her pics, I don’t even remember commenting.

I call this the “shoot and go”; I send my message and go!

Saying that bit to say, though I expect a reply whenever I post a comment, I’m no attached to that outcome. In pickup we call this outcome independence. It is where you detach yourself (emotionally and psychologically) from a result/outcome.

Girl tells you to fuck off; don’t get all reactive besides yourself.

Certainly there’s nothing wrong with defending yourself and cussing a bitch out when the situation warrants it. But avoid acting all needy and invested about things.

Okay, I’ve been digressing much, so let’s get back to the topic at hand.

Most guy’s comments get flat-out ignored. If you’re lucky, your comment would get a like from the recipient (the girl). At best, she’ll reply with a “thank you”, but as a way to placate your fragile heart while appearing non-bitchy as possible.

My comments rarely ever get ignored by the girl. Nor do I get a brush off “thanks” in reply. 99% of the time, my comment forces the girl to reply. Not because I do anything extraordinary or awesome. I largely use humor, wits and banter.

The other day, this chicks posted a set of photos. Note: this is a very entitled chicks from what I’d observed on her other posts.

Notice how the girl flat-out ignored every guy’s comment while only replying to mines.

Her reply in laughter led to a deeper threaded dialogue which I didn’t include here.

Why did she take notice of my comment while ignoring the rest (not to mention every other guy had commented before I did)?

Well clearly my comment was the only one that didn’t come off as ass-kissing, gawking and praising.

In conjunction with the fact that I ignored the girl’s looks, my comment was ballsy yet humorous.

Whenever you ignore a girl’s attempt at getting validation (as this girl did), you immediate get her attention as someone who stands out from the pack of Beta-Males.

The girl says to herself (subconsciously so), “why isn’t this guy kissing my ass like the other low-value tools”?

Learn how to not take the validation bait whenever a girl posts pics (namely sexy or seductive photos)!

Now that you know how not to comment on a girl’s pictures, instinctively, you should know how to comment on her photos by taking note of my comment.

Lastly, why don’t guys ever rock the boat with women (as in making witty comments)? Guys don’t want to offend. They don’t want to risk losing the girl! They don’t want to jeopardize a so-called good thing. Hence they choose to play it safe by leaving kiss-ass comments on a girl’s photos.

Again- this is done because 99% of guys are attached to the outcome. They are outcome-dependent. Hence they don’t ever want to make a comment which remotely comes close to offending the girl.

This safe sort of timid frame comes off as super needy and turns women off.

Be willing to risk it!

Be willing to offend!

Quit playing it safe!

Become detached from the outcome! Free yourself from this urge of needing it to work!

When you would have done that, you’ll quickly become amazed to discover that risking it gets the girl’s attention, while playing it safe gets you ignored.

How Not To Respond To A Girl Being Cold

This is totally the wrong way to go about a girl being unresponsive.

In fact, with this guy, the girl was responding. However, she was somewhat cold.

Days ago, a female on Facebook posted the following screenshots, in order to shame and out guys who show their lack of game and so forth.

The guy’s messages are in gray. Hers in blue.

Okay, so where did he go wrong?

First of all: never ask a girl, “what are you doing”, or, “what’s up”!

It is lame, generic and ticks women off because of its generic nature. So he went astray from right there.

Secondly, he didn’t have compliance from the girl, yet he tells her he’s going to be in (her) town tomorrow morning.

Okay- fine! But so what!! What the fuck do you expect the girl to say to that!!!? Did he expect her to say, “Okay that’s lovely that you’ll be in my town tomorrow! Let’s grab a smoothie”!


As the guy, he was supposed to tell the girl his plan and intention: “Hey, I’m gonna be in your town tomorrow. We should grab a pizza and bore each other to death with small talk”.

Point is: he foolishly neglected to give the girl a reason (or a point) to want to meet with him, since he neglected to mention any meet-up plan! Because of that, the girl rightly replied with, “what does this (coming to the girl’s town) have to do with me”?

He then further went on to drop more points by complimenting the girl in the cheesiest way possible (without having compliance) by telling her, “you look so beautiful and sweet”!

No dude! Haven’t you read my fucking blog!!!?

You don’t dish out a cheesy-generic compliment; especially when the girl has already deemed you as clueless via of her snarky remark!

Complimenting a stranger on a whole- in and of itself- is bad! But it is EXTRA bad when you do so on a downward spiral, where the girl had basically said something bitchy to you!

Why do guys choose such a moment (when the girl is acting bitchy) to go cheesy with the compliments? Because AFC’s (Average Joes) are still under the illusion that complimenting a bitchy, and or hot girl, will defuse her bitchiness and gain her favor by getting on her good side.

Essentially, it is a strategic ruse by clueless men in hopes of flattering the bitchy girl into being nice.

This absolutely never works!

Anyway, to make matters worse, from the screenshot (on the left side), I’m seeing that he contacted her again saying, “good morning”.

In a recent post, I touched on how generic texts such as, “good morning” and “what’s up”, are tantamount to nailing your own coffin shut…with yourself inside the coffin.

If you don’t have value in the eyes of the girl, she will react to a simple and innocent “good morning”, as if you’d told her to “go fuck yourself”!

This guy, clearly in the eyes of the girl, had no (social) value, no compliance and no attraction (based on his vibing…or lack thereof). So messaging “good morning” with such a deck stacked against you, will only cause Perturbation.

The uselessness of the ranting in the guy’s messages (in gray) on the right side of the screenshot above, was self-explanatory.

What’s so ironic about this (their text exchange) is that the guy could’ve totally turned this around by attracting the girl through drama.

Here’s the deal: as long as the girl is responding to your messages (whether positively or negatively), it means that she is invested. And as long as the girl is investing, it means that she is open to being picked up.

This guy clearly didn’t know that, just as hardly any of us guys would’ve known that.

It was Todd Valentine, the PUA instructor for the RSD company, who said: “I would rather get a negative response from the girl than no response at all”.

No response from the girl is absolutely the worst-case scenario. If she doesn’t reply; you have no shot of picking her up.

Saying that bit to say, I could’ve totally flipped this debacle, and I always do.

It is a treasured yet sorta complex routine/technique of mines, dubbed “seducing girls through drama”.

The reason I developed it was by chance actually. I’d gotten myself in a few sticky situations trying to game girls on online-dating sites some years ago. But then I realized that although the girl and I were arguing, I could still flip the set and get her to like me. Then it became a routine of mines in handling bitchy, snarky, attitudish girls.

Okay, back to the end of the text exchange. So even when he called her a fat cow, her response was rather relenting and non-combative. At that point, he could’ve totally turned around the set by relenting also, even apologizing, then work some charm game.

In either case, this was just a great example of how not to respond to a girl being cold via messaging.

You’ve Finally Heard It From A Woman’s Mouth. Now …Will You Believe Me?

Minutes ago, after I’d posted the status to social media about guys with shitty game asking girls if they’re single, as expected, some friends of mines weighed in on the post with their take on things.

Most interesting though, is the lone female’s comment.

If you don’t want to take it from Kenny’s mouth, then maybe hearing it from a female will persuade you that you’re doing it all wrong!


Some telling shit, wasn’t it?

I spoke about this ad nauseum in the past: what is guy’s go-to opener online?


Lamest opener ever!

Sure it can work! But you have to have already had social value for a “hi” to not turn a girl off.

For most of us guys though (98+%) who don’t have social value (at least I do), inboxing girls with, “hi”, is akin to voluntarily pounding the final nail into your own coffin (however way that could be achieved from inside of the coffin).

Likewise with, “Morning”.

Terrible fucking way to break the ice!

It annoys women!

Just as asking a girl if she’s single is cause for annoyance!

On that note, if you desire to step outside of chode mode, and to get your game to another level: hit me up on Skype for personal coaching on the art of attracting hot women instantly online, by simple tweaks and hacks in your text game!

It Annoys Me Whenever I See Guys Text Girls Like This

This sort of text game is just totally sad SMFH.

Unfortunately, this is how 98% of men attempt to chat up chicks online.

I had to screenshot this from a chick’s profile last night. It beats the hell
out of me why guys keep insisting on fucking asking girls if they’re single!!!

Guys don’t even give a shit if the girl is single or taken, yet they make it a habit to ask as their opener whether the girl is single or taken.

This is just an atrocious frikkin’ way to try to spark a conversation with a girl online or in person!

IDGAF if the guy looks like Will Smith 2.0! This sort of text game will get
you blown the fuck out regardless!!!

Stop asking girls if they’re single!! It annoys the fuck out of women!!!!

Additionally, look @ this guy’s texts in gray, and notice that he repeatedly breaks my #1 rule of texting girls: Use No Question Marks!

With every question he asked, he added a question mark which inadvertently makes him look desperate and or too eager to get the girl.

That is the problem with loading your messages with question marks: they make you appear too eager to get a reply from the girl.

This in turn, turns women off (appearing overly eager)!

In essence, a guy who gets laid doesn’t appear eager to get a reply from a girl.



Thus, eliminate question marks from your texts, and you will appear a lot more confident to women.

For all we know, the reason the girl blew this guy out was because he came off as too eager/desperate to get to know the girl, indicative of the fact that he loaded his texts with question marks!

On a last note, as I mentioned earlier, girls get pissed off by guys who ask them about their relationship status.

Why the fuck do you care anyway!!!?

What does it matter to you if she’s single, taken or married!!!?

If she were taken, does that somehow diminishes her physical attractiveness?

Of course not!

Hence, the reason why guys ask the girl if she’s single, isn’t at all because he really cares, but because asking such a question seems like commonplace. Thus, men go into autopilot mode when they break the ice with women.

The standard questions to ask a girl upon opening her are:

“How you doing”?

“Are you single”?

“Will you like to get to know each other”?

“Where are you from”?

Therefore, this guy doesn’t give a rat’s ass whether the girl say single or taken (just as no guy cares about this). He’s just adhering to social protocol (though skewed) by doing/saying what he thinks (or learned) is the way to approach women.

Again- guys like him are the norm by far!

Ninety-eight percent of men on this globe (or at least in the western world), attempt to chat up girls in similar fashion as this guy tried attempted to do.

You will never see me ask a girl if she’s single!


I don’t give a fuck about her relationship status!

That has nothing to do with me getting my dirty-little pecker into her horny-little snatch!

Her LTR status doesn’t make my chances better, nor does it lessen them!

With that, whenever you ask a girl if she’s single, she gets annoyed because she doesn’t see the relevance of the question.

If your text game format resembles that of this guy’s: I implore you to purchase Facebook bang A-fucking SAP!

Absolutely Terrible Text Game

A female friend of mines posted this to Facebook. This is absolutely 1 of the worst text game I ever seen in my life. Most guys may think this is good or decent text game just because it is what most guys do. But it sucks ass!!! It kills me why guys insist on asking the same generic ass, lame-ass boring questions in a row. This is terrible! Unfortunately, this is what most guy’s text game looks like. You ask a girl where she’s from and how old she is, then try to get her # (Whatsapp) right away. Bad fucking game!!

If you want to learn how to text girls the right way (on Facebook), then remember to grab a copy of Facebook Bang!

Brief Post On Why Indirect Game (Online Especially) Is Far Superior

More Facebook Game tidbits:

It’s all about the approach, and this is just another testament to the fact that online, indirect game is far superior to direct game.

Going direct in the traditional sense of opening/inboxing girls on Facebook with compliments, will get you ultimately blown out and ignored 80% of the time.

Going indirect by adopting my style and method, will hook more than 80% of the time, with a response rate of over 95%.

For instance; the girl featured in the chat-log below, is a super-hot girl, model-figured, that type that’ll have guys drooling at the mouth.

You think you can open her with some lame-direct compliment bullshit and have her engage you?

Of course NOT!

Hence…go INDIRECT just as I did here in my first message to this girl whom I added on Facebook, literally 2 days ago!
[My texts in blue]



Not to belabor the point, nor to get too deep into the semantics of direct-indirect game, but going direct online, can work.

Quite often, I go sexually direct.

However, as I touched on in the previous post about calibration and congruence, your persona must add up to that guy who can go sexual off the bat.

Sexually direct upon your opener/ice-breaker isn’t the greatest issue as far as direct game online goes.

Complimenting women- that sort of direct game- is a losing strategy when trying to gain reciprocation and eventually pick up women over social media.


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