“Cunnilingus as a taboo in the Caribbean”.
During the conclusion of the previous article, I shed a bit of light on the taboo subject of Cunnilingus in the English-speaking Caribbean islands.
Why did I adjoin “taboo” onto it?
Well- in the islands, performing oral sex on a woman is very tabooed.
Having mainly resided here for the last 4 years [primarily the island of Antigua and Barbuda which I’m a native of], with parentage and siblings also stemming from here, I’m pretty much au-fait with the culture on every conceivable level]…including the sexual taboos.
Women certainly would love to have a guy who goes down town without an inkling of an issue. However, the taboo factor of Cunnilingus doesn’t necessarily lies with women but men.
Men in the Caribbean islands aren’t too ecstatic about taking a dive below.
As a woman in this region, you would actually be hard-pressed to find a guy who would go down on you without having to virtually and literally bound him into taking such actions.
In fact- it is very offensive to even insinuate to a guy, let alone suggest, that he should go down on a woman!
There are tons of tales and legends which circulate these islands of men beating women to a bloody pulp because they had the audacity to ask them to perform oral sex!
I’ve even witnessed on few occasions, guys out in public slapping the daylights out of women for suggesting that they perform oral sex on them! 😯
Furthermore, this subject is so taboo that women actually shame and embarrass men publicly for “eating pussy”…even if the guy hadn’t done so!
I had a business associate years ago who cheated on his girlfriend with his ex. They got into a public altercation as a result, and the disgruntled girlfriend did the unthinkable in front of witnesses: she exclaimed loudly, “You fucking went down on me! You bow-cat”!! 😯 😯
“Oh no she didn’t”!!!
When she shouted this out for the world to hear, everyone included traffic, stopped, and you were able to heard a fucking pin drop that’s how quiet it got at that instance!
For a woman, in this part of the Caribbean, to claim that a guy had gone down on her (publicly at that), has this sort of traffic-stopping, music-halting effect.
It is just 1 of those things you never say to a guy or about a guy.
As a guy, you would be laughed at and publicly shamed by your peers!
Hence, my business associate at the time who was on the receiving end of this scandalous claim, was so embarrassed that he locked himself inside of his man-cave for weeks- too ashamed to venture out even to work!
Admittedly so, he told me that he never performed oral sex on his girlfriend. Moreover, he had never even performed oral sex in his life!
I believe him!
We all came to find out (after they had patched things up) that the girlfriend indeed had fabricated that lie and spouted it out through anger, just to cause great shame to her boyfriend for having cheated on her.
Therefore, when you think about it, even though a woman in these parts would love to have a guy who has openly accepted cunnilingus, she would still turn around, berate and shame that same hard-to-find guy, for performing oral sex on her. And she knows damn well that cunnilingus is 1 of those things which you just don’t ascribe to a man under no circumstance unless you’re looking for a grand fallout…or a beating.
Thus, it clearly speaks to the hypocrisy of women in these parts. On 1 hand: they desire a guy who’s into performing oral sex. On the other hand; they will shame the guy for doing just so.
As for the male mindset in the English-speaking Caribbean towards cunnilingus, it is as toxic as the hypocrisy dished out by women on the matter.
If you ask the average male here why doesn’t he “suck” (i.e. perform oral sex on women), his keynote argument would be this:
“Going down on a woman is demeaning, it gives women the power and it makes the guy submissive to her”.
Of all the guys I’ve surveyed (tactfully and indirectly), that was the average answer I would receive in regards to cunnilingus: men felt as though they are granting women all control, hence they feel powerless and submissive. And to top it off; they feel that it is demeaning.
My theory (as to why men in these parts on average feel this way) goes right back to women themselves, in that because a woman is liable to publicly out a guy as a pussy-eating bandit, men have become even more reluctant as a result, to the idea of performing oral sex, afraid that they may find themselves on the receiving end of a shaming session by some angry girl who’s trying to get back at the them for something said or done.
Therefore, men are paranoid shit of the potential backlash they may encounter as a result of this!
Since men tie fear into submissiveness, I now theorize and understand why the vast majority of young men in this region would surmise that going down on a woman would make them seem weak and submissive.
It isn’t the act itself that is deemed weak. But the backlash and being outed by women which will cause so much shame that the guy would feel a sense of fearfulness thus weakness.
Once women in this region begin to halt their public shaming of men who perform oral sex, men would feel a lot more comfortable to entertain the idea and to actually put it into action.
Thus, at the same time, women are inadvertently blunting their own sexual desires and expectations by threatening to expose men who go down, meanwhile desiring a man who goes down.
It is to the point of desperation in these parts where women are desperately in search of the elusive pussy-eater, and a guy who isn’t too concerned about being shamed for his cunnilingus-loving ways [a guy such as myself].
Exhibit A: the girl whom I’d picked up days ago on Facebook…the one who was adamantly fixated on having her pussy sucked.
This is no coincidence nor an isolated case.
It is actually the norm in these parts to have a woman desperately beg me to perform some oral action on her.
Eighty percent of the girls I pick up (whether online or on the streets), make it their business to harp on oral sex being a virtual prerequisite and a must, in order for me (or any guy) to successfully sleep with them.
Also, because I’m not a localized guy, women are encouraged to openly accost me about oral sex.
If I were locally raised; women will NOT at all be nearly as bold to put an “I want oral sex” pitch to me.
As I mentioned earlier: the average young man (any male for that matter) in the English-speaking Caribbean, does NOT take light to a woman insinuating that he should go down.
It is seen as a grave disrespect to men for a woman to expect, let alone pose such a question!
Hence, women find themselves in a bind where they have no choice but to resort to desperate measures in hopes of getting their oral fix.
To be honest, 1 of the reasons I get laid a ton in these parts (apart from game), is the fact that I openly share with women my propensity to perform oral sex on them.
Women in the Caribbean being oral-sex depraved (and desperately so), they latch onto the rare guy [like myself] who’s willing to go down and satisfy their sexual needs in that department.
Technically, I find it to be a win-win proposition! She gets her pussy eaten to a climax, and I get to fuck her as a result…while getting my cock sucked while at it. 😉
Most guys in these parts will NOT make that compromise due to the taboo nature of going down on a woman!
He would rather not get laid at all than to go down on a woman and get laid in the process!
Ass-backwards if you ask me!
On a further note, and in regards to the male mindset, most men are opposed from performing oral sex on a woman, not only because of the backlash of getting shamed publicly by women, but they will also get a dose of “shame the eater” from the fellaz!
I mean- men are fucking proud creatures!
We work off of ego and pride.
Try to shame a guy about going down on a woman [in these parts], and he’ll deny that shit to the bitter end!
Being outed by a girl will also shatter his ego and pride. So much so that his buddies will likely distance themselves from him due to his exposing as a pussy-eater.
Therefore, not only do you have women who will berate and shame the guy for going down [that’s if a fallout happens…which is inevitable], but his own boys within his social circle will also berate and shame him, thus leading to his ostracization.
This is why it is so delicate of a situation for a woman here to make such a pitch to a guy about going down on her. He may likely lose his friends. Or in the best-case scenario, he’ll become the laughingstock of his peers.
Men being pride-filled creatures, they would rather keep the company of “the boys” than to risk loosing it at the expense of getting laid.
As for myself on a personal; I have no boys neither a social circle of men here in the islands!
I’ve mentioned this quite a few times on social media: I have no male friends!
Guys in the pick-up community, my students included, would always ask me:
“Hey Kenny, why is it I never see you gaming, partying or clubbing with any other guy”?
“Why is it you always roll solo”?
Hence, it is quite clear to everyone who remotely knows me (or familiar with my lifestyle, whether through the blog or social media) that I have no male friends, and I roll solo.
With that being the reality, I have no social circle of guys of which to protect my ego, pride and company.
I am my own man.
Therefore, I am not proverbially held hostage for my lifestyle choices since I don’t have to worry about the boys shaming me for those choices.
Also, since I’m an Alpha-Fucking Male in that I don’t give a shit about pleasing the masses, men naturally sense this vibe about me, so they accept me for what and who I am.
You can only shame a weak Beta-Male who’s built on all ego and pride. One cannot shame a guy who doesn’t give a fuck about what others think…which is me!
Hence, I am open about having an affinity to performing oral sex on women!
I don’t hide it!
For crying out loud; I blog about it! 😆 🙂
It is due to this freeness of expression which I embody why lots of guys who come across me, gravitate to me. Because truthfully, every guy wishes that he were free in expression and didn’t have his pride and ego stifling his choices in life.
This is why whenever I perform pickup around non-pickup guys, on the streets or at the bar, though they envy me for having the balls to pick up random women, they also secretly admire me for doing the unimaginable!
Thus, every now and then, I would have an emboldened and pride-free guy approach me and say:
“Hey man, I don’t want to sound lame or anything, but I was watching you pick up that girl and I was astonished by that shit. Much props”!
It takes a suppression of pride for a guy to approach another guy and congratulate him on his pickup prowess.
However, at the core of it all, it is the guy showing his admiration for another guy who has the balls to defy social norms by doing what he doesn’t have the courage to do.
As a guy living in this region, being open about performing oral sex on women, takes heart, guts, balls suppression of pride and a willingness to withstand (public) shaming, ostracization and being the laughingstock of the town.
Most men will NOT subject themselves to this sort of pressure!
Therefore, when such guys encounter a guy like myself who’s the total opposite (free from pride), they cannot help but to admire such a guy who embodies boldness and disregard for what society deems taboo.
Speaking of this, I have to laugh when I think back to last weekend at a lounge where I was chatting up a random hottie who’s about 19 years old.
Her girlfriend snapped these crappy photos below (she was inebriated and didn’t realize that the pics weren’t taken clearly).
Anyway, while standing and chatting her up and charming her a bit as she sat on a stool, I positioned myself between her thighs with my thighs touching her knees as I leaned over (forward) and talked in her ears.
Being that the music was so loud, I found myself having to shout aloud just so she could hear me.
As if it were on cue by some unseen entity, the music came to an abrupt halt (via a glitch) as I shouted in the girl’s ear:
“I wanna eat your pussy right here right fucking now”!
I mean, it was so on cue (the music stopping) that I wasn’t able to stop myself in mid sentence since my lips and tongue were already well in motion as I enunciated my intent!
The entire venue came to a standstill and every patron’s head snapped towards my direction, shocked at what was just exclaimed aloud!
They couldn’t believe it!
Everyone gasped and sighed, bottles dropped, the whole shebang! 😆 😆
I even had a guy say, “did he just say that”!?
The girl and I laughed about the gotcha moment. Later on, a guy even bought me a beer because he was so astounded by my shocking declaration which is a serious taboo, and no man dare publicly verbalize this…albeit I never intended for others to overhear.
However, because I owned it like a real man, and didn’t back down from my statement even when everyone gasped and frowned at me, I was ultimately hailed with respect instead of shame and laughter.
Most guys would have hauled ass and evacuated the venue out of embarrassment!
Conservatism In The Region
The English-speaking Caribbean is an ultra-conservative region.
When I say “ultra”, I mean that shit to the utmost!
In light of this conservatism which is wielded by the Christian Right, there exists somewhat of a contradiction which lends itself to the notion that the region is NOT conservative in the least, but very liberal and open.
Though an oxymoron, I would say that it is a liberally conservative region. 🙂
This contradiction occurs partly because the political parties don’t divide based on conservative and liberal lines. All political parties consist of liberals and conservatives.
Where I reside currently as an example (the island of Antigua), prostitution, though not legal, is virtually legalized and has always been so…just not on the law books because the clergy that wields political influence here would not want to be seen as the endorser of prostitution being legally ratified. So the clergy doesn’t quite have an issue with prostitution being decriminalized off the books. But as long as it stays off the books.
I took the following photos about 2 weeks ago of hookers applying their trade on the corner and from within fast-food joints.
Below, Latinas [Dominicans] applying their trade on the streets…without worries of being accosted by law enforcements since they don’t enforce anti-prostitution laws…because it’s quasi-legal. 😉
As a result, anti-prostitution laws also aren’t enforced 1 bit. But here’s another contradictory twist to the already contradiction: prostitutes (whether they be street hookers or girls working via whore-houses), are indirectly encouraged to register their services, get regulated and to subject themselves to routine checkups for viruses, STD’s and HIV.
This is why it is rumored that hookers are the most clean and STI-free women in the Eastern Caribbean region (and the world) because they are subjected by law, to frequent testing on a weekly basis, thus they’re pretty up to date with knowing their so-called status, while the average woman doesn’t even get an STD or HIV checkup within her lifetime.
If prostitution can be regulated by the governments of this region then how is it not legal? So the contradiction perpetuates itself.
On a different note, and just to highlight the liberalism of the region [though a strict-religiously conservative region], drinking and smoking in public is totally legal. No identification needed to purchase alcohol. Minors often purchase alcohol and tobacco as long as they have consent of an adult (it’s usually at the discretion of the seller to sell to whomever).
In light of such relaxed laws towards the sale of alcohol, here’s another twist; the sale of alcohol is prohibited on Easter and or Good Friday [Christian holidays].
Also, the legal age of sexual consent ranges between 14 and 16 from island to island.
The legal-drinking age is also 16 in most islands (18 is the rare case).
Those are just few examples to support the contradiction that this is a very conservative region.
If you ask me, those are liberalistic ideas without a shadow of a doubt!
HOWEVER, it is very religiously conservative in regards to things such as gay marriage, gay rights and gay acceptance.
Gay sex is a serious crime in the English-Speaking Caribbean (known as buggery and sodomy on the law books).
Being gay is also a taboo in these parts, and you’re liable to get arrested (or even killed in places like Jamaica) for being openly gay.
In a so-called Christian society where almost all of the politicians consider themselves Christian Conservatives, there is no tolerance for neither gayness, gay rights nor gay people [I don’t support homosexuality so I have no issues with this].
In that regard, it is safe to say that the region is ultra-conservative…yet with lots of liberal touches.
Ok, so what does all this mumbo-jumbo have to do with Cunnilingus and eating a girl’s pussy?
Well, being a so-called conservative Christian society, sexual-deviant acts such as cunnilingus are frowned upon with almost the same distastefulness as homosexuality.
They are both taboos in these parts!
Moreover, going down on a girl is a neo-liberalism idea as far as sex is concerned.
In a conservative community, sex is supposed to be old fashioned and by the book!
Any sexual deviation would spell perversion and forbiddance.
With this sexual conservatism stamped into the psyche of every male and female (drilled into them by the media, the clergy, society and parents), sexual expressiveness is kept a guarded secret, hence the taboo surrounding cunnilingus and anal sex in this region.
Having resided in this region for a while now [I was actually born here before moving to New York City], I’ve learned to adapt and beat the dating system in order to milk my chances of getting laid on an ultra-consistent basis.
Though taboo in an ultra-conservative Christian region, lots of women are salivating at the thought of bringing their oral-sex fantasies to life.
However, there are few men willing to compromise and give women what they desire. Hence, a large number of women out here is hoping to find that elusive-sexual deviant who isn’t bounded by taboo and sexual hangups as far as cunnilingus is concerned.
Popular-Caribbean Music are Anti-Cunnilingus
On a final note, I want to touch on the most popular music genre in the region: “Reggae music”, and its now more popular sub-genre, Dancehall music.
With the younger guys, having been raised conservatively and persuaded in every crevice of society to remain sexually conservative, the music they mostly listen to has long launched an assault against “bow-cat”.
What is a bow-cat?
It is a Jamaican term used to describe (mostly shame) a guy who goes down on women.
Here’s a screenshot from a website belonging to a Jamaican, which features a glossary of Patois (Patwa), which is the language spoken in the Eastern Caribbean. You’ll notice “bow” or “bow-cat”.
“Bow”, which obviously means to bow or to bow down, is the verb often used in the English-speaking Caribbean for “going down on a girl”.
Hence, if a guy were to ask you, for example, “Do you bow”? He’s essentially asking you if you go down on women.
The cat part in “Bow-Cat”, I can theorize and guesstimate to say that the cat [pussy] is representative of the vagina.
The thing is, in the Caribbean-English Colloquialism [Patwa language], “Cat” means pussy…as in vagina. It is the tamer and more politically acceptable way to say pussy (though “cat” used in the context of vagina isn’t tolerated in broadcasting).
Be as it may, so the term “Bow-Cat” would roughly translate to a guy who bows to the cat [pussy/vagina].
It is a very disrespectful and offensive term to use to describe a male.
It is essentially fighting words! And if you call a guy a bow-cat, you’re liable to get fucked up.
Though it’s a Jamaican-slang term, as in every region, there is usually 1 place or country which wields the most influence in the media through film and music, which surrounding places, states or countries adopt such slang also.
For instance: Egypt.
Where it pertains to the Arabic language, the Egyptian dialect of Arabic (its terms, slang and colloquialisms) is the most learned and used around the Arab world, especially since the film industry pushes Egyptian films more than that of any other Arabic-speaking country.
Therefore, you would find Egyptian slang (through film and music) being propagated and used throughout every Arab country, especially since Egyptian films dominate the Arab world.
Hence Jamaica. Throughout the English-speaking Caribbean islands, Jamaican would be the Egypt of the region in that its music and films are the most popular, and they dominate the airwaves throughout every island, from the bars, nightclubs to everyday functions.
Saying that bit to say, the Jamaican term [“Bow-Cat”]- though Jamaican- it is intelligible, understood and used throughout the Caribbean wherever English [Patwa] is spoken.
The average guy here [even in Antigua where I’m currently located and was born], grew up listening to Jamaican-influenced music (Reggae and Dancehall), and watching Jamaican films, hence shameful terms such as “Bow-Cat”, are etched deeply within the average guy’s psyche.
No guy around these parts wants to be labelled a bow-cat!
In fact, since we spoke earlier about women shaming men for going down on them (though they want men to go down on them), the term most often used by women to shame such men, is “bow-cat”.
Though I don’t listen to the most popular Jamaican music known as Dancehall, whenever I happen to come in contact with it (which is unavoidable), most of its lyrics consist of shaming men who perform oral sex on women, in a sense, as a deterrent and warning to those guys out there who may dare think about “bowing” (going down on a woman).
Hence, you have a situation where guys in the Caribbean, who are sexually conservative to begin with, are forced to stay in line by the very musical icons they look up to and listen to on a daily basis.
In the Dancehall music genre, men are also encouraged to ditch any of their male friends who “bow”, and to disassociate themselves from any girl who dares mention “bowing”.
When you really crunch the numbers and add everything up, it becomes clearer and clearer as to how most men in this region are pressured to remain sexually conservative and to stay within that box of sexual normalcy!
The social ramifications of stepping outside the box is just too much for the average guy to bear.
Therefore, you should have now gotten a greater understanding of the dynamics at play within most of my pickups over the last 3 years…and why women in this region go bonkers for the elusive guy who doesn’t fall victim to the sexual stereotypes and stigmas.