Impractical Stuff Women Do

“More annoying-little things chicks do”.

A night or so ago, I get a Whatsapp message from a girl whom I wanted to sleep with from some weeks back.

Due to my schedule and hers conflicting; we haven’t met up again. Thinking I would hear, “Kenny let’s hang out”. She sends me a text- I guess to chat- but also says she’s in Boston.

Okay! Why text me or hit me up when you’re visiting Boston…especially at “hooking up hours”?

I’m not into this text-buddy bullshit, and these chicks well know it. So hit me back up when you’re back on island where it’s logistically possible to sleep with you.

I refuse to waste my time chit-chatting with girls who are either out of reach, not DTF or those who are looking for a text-buddy.
‪#‎ImADickSometimes‬ ‪#‎AssholeGame‬
[Her texts in white. Mines in green]



All in all; I have low tolerance for chicks who waste time when it comes to the bang.

Furthermore, I tend to get really annoyed with chicks who do things without reason. Hence, why this girl said I come off like a cunt.

Finally, you have to learn how to cultivate a vibe which says to girls, “I can take it or leave it”.


Girls Can’t Refuse Pizza & Fries

For shits and giggles, as Mystery would say, every now and then, I have to really get super technical and break things down to an elementary level.

The following brief exchange yesterday with an HB7, was 1 such exercise in “breaking it down”…but there’s a bit more to it than that.


When I posted this to Facebook, some commenters surmised that the girl was naïve or downright slow to catch on.

I think she was just playing coy and cunning.

It’s like the “Netflix and Chill” suggestion which is popular today.

Lots of girls are down for the “Netflix and Chill”. But some want to pretend to be naïve about it, knowing that “Netflix and Chill” is a cunning coded phrase for “Let’s chill and fuck”.

Hence, it’s all about preserving perceived value on the part of the girl where she doesn’t want to appear easily bought…or sold.

With this girl, it’s just a case of token resistance.

Moreover, I find that there are 4 things girls cannot resist: pizza, fries, ice cream and booze.

Also, whenever I pitch my meet-ups, I try to frame it just as I did with this girl: super casual and low-pressured!

It isn’t, “let’s go out on a formal date, have a lavish mean like rich people and pretend to be high society”.

My rendezvous are always a casual, “Come meet me at a snack joint”…key phrase: “Meet me”.

It makes it low-pressured on the girl instead of this scary engagement.

Hence, bear that in mind whenever setting up a meet-up with a new girl or any girl for that matter: frame it as casual as possible.

Instead of going for a lavish engagement, opt for a snack instead.

The Quest To Get My Dad Laid: The 3- Some That Got Away [field report from Saturday 11-21-15]

Last Saturday, my father paid me a surprised visit all the way from New York City.

It’s been since 2011 that we last seen each other, hung out and gamed together.

What my dad and I have mostly in common is our love for meeting and sleeping with new women.

As he touched down on island Saturday afternoon, the mission was already set in motion: “Let’s get laid”…albeit I never knew he was to come.

He phoned me in the evening for my whereabouts.

Dad: “Hey brother, what’s up”?

Me: “Oh shit! I didn’t even know you were coming. When did you arrive on island”!?

Dad: “Just minutes ago. Just came from the airport. I meant to tell you I was coming but it was so late notice and I wasn’t sure if I was going to make the flight so I decided to not say anything until I knew for certain. So where are you”?

Me: “By my kid’s mother. Where you”?

Dad: “I’m by the place I always stay when I come”.

Overjoyed at the prospect of having my father as a wingman for the night, I dropped what I was doing, jumped on my bike, sped home, took the quickest shower on record, got dressed and headed to his temporary abode.

The meet & greet went as a normal procession.

We then schemed the evening’s plan as if we were 2 military generals preparing our battle strategies against the enemy. Mostly however, the logistics were left for me to craft since I knew the landscape better than he did.

During the planning phase, an old friend of my father’s popped up and mentioned that there was a grand fiesta taking place at a beach about an hour away.


“I’m down”!

Me: “Pops, are you down”?

Dad: “Yea man”!

Interestingly though, I haven’t been to a beach party in nearly 12 years. That speaks volume coming from someone [myself] who has been living in the tropics 4+ years now.

Anyway, so off to the beach we went the Saturday evening.

We stopped off at a liquor store to grab a few Coors Light.

Pops said to the driver:

“Yo man, you sure you can drink and drive”?

Driver: “This not America. Anything goes here. Cops openly drink and drive so it’s nothing for us to do it”.

We continued the hour-long evening voyage to the beach party with our primary goal in mind: “Getting pops laid”.

The thing is: my father is an experienced cold-approach artist and womanizer- so technically- he doesn’t need a helping-hand in the whoring department.

However, if we can shortcut this process where I share some logistical intel with him, then more the merrier. 😉

Shortly after our arrival at the beach fiesta, I left my dad outside as I went to grab myself a cocktail [drinks were free] at the makeshift bar.

As I returned- “well, well, well”- didn’t take pops any time to dive into conversation with a young hottie.

In the meanwhile, I combed the nearby beachside trying to find some more hotties to game and introduce to my father.

Some girl with humongous boobs gave me eye contact so I stepped to her:

“Hey…is that your friend”?

Girl: “My cousin”

Me: “Cool. That’s my father back there”.

Girl: “Really!? I would swear it’s your brother”!

Me: “I get that a lot”

I then introduced myself to her cousin who’s much hotter.

I called my father over and introduced him to the 2 girls and we chatted a bit.

We then exchanged numbers with the intention to meet up with them afterwards or the following night.

Next set!

I spotted a sexy girl in a pink and black skimpy outfit.

Chatted her up for a bit then introduced her to my father.


Instant match!

The chemistry was immediately felt on a mutual level!

I whispered to my pops: “I think she’s DTF”.

We grabbed her number with intentions to meet up afterwards.

A while later, the same girl approached me:

“Where’s your dad!? Tell him to meet me down on the beach so we can talk”.

Trying to locate pops, I scrambled through the crowds of people until I found him…in conversation with another random hottie.

Me: “Hey, the girl we were talking to in the pink and black says she wants you to meet her down on the seashore”.

We went outside the dancing area, looked towards the seashore and spotted her lying on the sand with another girl.

We walked a few yards until we met them.

The girl whom she was hanging with wasn’t sexy at all, but I occupied her like a stellar wingman so my dad was allowed ample time to whisk away his target.

As they walked the banks further down the beach, some drunk kid kept trailing them, so I ran behind them in order to occupy the obstacle by trying to get the guy away.

The kid turned back and left, probably believing that the girl was either my girlfriend or my father’s.

The 3 of us chatted on the banks for 10 minutes, sorting out the logistics.

Since my pops wasn’t familiar with the layout of the towns, I was there to facilitate the logistics.

As if a light bulb was flicked on inside of my head, the idea of a 3-some popped up.

The vibe was ripe. The girl also seemed to take a liking to me…so why not?

I craftily ran it by my father [the 3 some] and he was down!

After a bit, the plan was set: we all would hitch a cab back to her place and fuck her together.

Our designated driver was hammered so we didn’t quite want to risk our lives going back to her place in his vehicle. Nevertheless, he bailed on us early.

At that time, it was about 11 PM. We had been there since about 7:30 PM.

For an entire hour, we tried getting a taxi but everything was booked up.


My phone had died, and my pop’s mobile WIFI thingy had also died, so we had no way in contacting a cab service by phone.

As if by a stroke of luck, I was able to power on my smartphone and make an outgoing call to the guy who had dropped us off at the party.

No answer!

“Fuck he’s probably knocked out cold by now”!!!!

Phone died again!

“Where are the goddamn taxis”!?

The girl was apparently randy- coupled with the fact that she’s been drinking- and I myself was itching to fuck this girl something terrible!

Dammit we are virtually stranded at the beach with a girl who’s DTF!

I was poised to bang her right on the beach, but pops didn’t have a condom…nor did the girl. Hence why we wanted to take her to our place or hers [though we decided on her place since it was logistically better and a closer ride].

The situation became so pressing that I found myself trying to convince random guys to drop us home for a fee.

This 1 guy said “Okay”…but he isn’t leaving just now. He has to wait until a portion of the bar sells out [his portion], since he has shares in the fiesta.

Apart from the free drinks which were available, beers were sold also. There’s no guarantee that this guy would’ve gotten his share of booze sold off in the next hour, so we definitely couldn’t wait on him.

The girl tried getting a cab…to no avail.

A truck happened to pull out so I chased after it, screaming down the driver, “Yoooooooooooooooo!!!!!!! Can we get a ride”!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He sped off!

Taxis were pulling up and leaving by the second, but they were all pre-booked and stacked to capacity.


A mini-van taxi with seemingly vacant seats pulled up.

I exclaimed:

“Yo, are you available”!?

Driver: “Yea”!

I called out to my father and the DTF chick, “Yo, we got a taxi over here”!

Me: “How much to get to Seaside [where the girl lives]”?

Driver: “$20 per head”.

I had 40 bucks exact on me…enough to cover myself and my pops.

The girl was flat-fucking broke.

We definitely couldn’t leave the girl since she was the most important asset to which we wanted to slide our dirty peckers into.

Me: “You mean you don’t have $20 on you”?

Girl: “I didn’t come here expecting to spend money since the drinks are free”.

Pops pulled out his credit card to rescue the day.

Unfortunately, the taxi doesn’t process cards.


After about 5 minutes of trying to negotiate a deal with the cab-driver, he relented. So the girl gets a free ride.


We hopped in and headed to her place.

Along the way, the girl makes a request which threw us off, and pissed off the driver.

Girl: “Can you stop by ***** street at this address? I need to pick up my child real quick from the sitter”.

Driver: “What!? You’re not even paying! How can you make requests”!?

Girl: “She lives just right there”!

Driver: “I don’t care”!

Pops: “Why don’t you let the sitter hold your child until the morning instead of waking the child this late”?

Driver: “Yea! That would be the best thing”!

The girl and the driver trashed it out for about 3 minutes, yelling back and forth about who’s getting a free ride, leaving the child at the sitter, etc.

The driver decided to swing by the address of the sitter anyway.

Girl came out, knocked on the door for a while.

Driver: “Come on! The people are probably asleep by now! It’s after fucking 12 am”!

The girl pounded on the doors, windows, went around back to pound on the rear windows trying to wake the sitter. Even my father and I got annoyed at the time-wasting. About 5 went by and the taxi-driver was furious, honking his horn!

As the girl jumped back into the mini-van, the sitter emerged.

The girl exited the cab again then went inside the house.

“Damn this bitch”!

We may have to wait another 5 minute while she gather her stuff.

We pleaded with the taxi driver to wait a bit more since he was furious and kept revving the van, itching to leave.

Hopped back in and continued to the destination: her place.

Here is the thing though- and in hindsight- it might have came back to bite us in the ass. 😦

Since the girl had to put her kid back to bed and so forth, I told my pops that we should get off about 2 blocs from her place, and allow the cab to take her straight home while we walked the rest of the way [2 blocs].

By that time, she would have already [hopefully] got her kid in bed by then…and also got into something more comfy [as in naked]. 😈

I thought it was a clever idea!

Let’s see if it was.

We ran it by the girl and she also thought it was a good idea.

The cab let us out on 2nd street [for instance], and he took her to 4th street [her apartment].

What we didn’t realize was that the cab-driver had a check-mate plan of his own which would come back to bite us in the ass.

Being somewhat familiar with the area, from our vantage point [my pops and me], I could see the girl’s apartment and also the taxi’s trajectory as it drove down the bloc.

We waited and chatted mid-road [on 2nd street] while the cab pulled up on 4th street, across from the girl’s apartment.

By that time, I calculated that the taxi would’ve departed, and within the 5 minute walk, she will have put her kid back to sleep and got comfy…so I hoped.

Strangely enough; the taxi was still there as we got a bloc closer to 3rd street.

Perhaps the girl had told him to wait while she went to collect a $20 to pay her fare. ❓

My pops and I then waited for a bit about a bloc away, hoping that the cab would’ve pulled off by then.

We waited and waited, hoping he would pull off, but the headlights went out. From what we were able to see, the van was now parked, and not just merely at a standstill on the side of the road.


We had no way to call the girl to find out what was happening.

Something told me that the girl may have bullshitted the taxi-driver by telling him to wait outside while she grabbed some cash to cover her fare…hence the reason why he’s still waiting outside.

As we got closer to her place, we spotted a girl who looked exactly like her, exiting the apartment, jumping into the parked taxi across the street.

In fact: it was her!

This became more puzzling by the second.

“Perhaps she wasn’t trying to swindle him after all, and she was actually intending to pay her $20 cab fare. ❓

As we lingered half of bloc away, we realized that the cab was still there…and the girl had entered the cab and has been inside for a few minutes now.


“Could he actually be fucking her”?

“Perhaps as payment, he convinced her to fuck him instead”. ❓

Smart and shrewd move on his part if that’s the case! But surely would’ve fucked our plans for a 3-some.

Charged with quarterbacking this; I cannot just let it go down like that!

In hindsight as I mulled over it, somehow the girl probably felt that we stood her up, and that was the real reason why we decided to plan an early exit from the cab.

Being so DTF and liquored-up from the beach fiesta, she likely would’ve wanted to cap that night off by getting fucked.

However, she misinterpreted our early exit from the cab to mean we weren’t DTF. 😦 😦 So why not bang the taxi-driver?

If that was the case, it would have been a gross miscalculation on my part [deciding to get off 2 blocs away instead of going straightaway to her place…with her].

Anyway, we approached her apartment where the mini-van [the cab] was still parked.

Through the heavily tinted windows, I was able to make out an obscured head bobbing up and down as if a blowjob was being simulated.

Not wanting to appear as a stalker, I ducked and stepped back, motioning to my dad that they are likely fucking.

He was as perturbed as I was.

“All this work for naught”.

I kept replaying the night’s missteps through my head while we stood a few yards away from the taxi as if time stood still for us:

“We should’ve fucked this bitch on the beach”!

“Why did I suggest getting out the cab and walk the rest of the way”?

“The cab-driver is literally fucking the girl [or getting sucked] whom we had worked on for upwards of 2-3 hours”!

I really wasn’t able to process it.

This chick was so DTF that a smelly vagrant could’ve probably fucked her!

We aborted the mission and continued gaming throughout the night at a nearby lounge.

Me and pops over the weekend

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