It still puzzles me to this day that there are scores of men in society who hold fast to the belief that all or most women, are actively seeking (monogamous) relationships.
This couldn’t be further from the truth.
A Facebook friend of mines [a male] who I’d grown up with in New York City, recently posted the following status update verbatim:
“I’m fucking hurt right now nd I’m to a point that I don’t want to see this Earth anymore…”
His previous 3 updates were very similar [suicidal-esque], and they made it pretty clear that the source of his frustration was women and dating.
I reassured him that I would put together an article to detail what exactly is the reason for the way he feels and how to totally flip the script and get out of this funk for good.
On a related note, as men, it’s very easy to fall into the frame of despising women and their very existence for the would-be wrongs that they’ve committed against us within the dating realm.
Elliot Rodger, the guy who’d recently murdered 6 in San Diego, California, was a prime example of someone- a guy- who felt that he was slighted and unjustly wronged by women, thus falling into a frame of self-hatred and misogyny which culminated with multi-homicides + suicide as icing on the cake.
Most men definitely won’t take being frustrated with women and dating to such extremes. But the underlying theme of dating and relationship frustrations boils down to we men having the wrong expectations of what women want and what they respond to.
If we knew how chicks operate on a superficial to intricate level: boy that’s a ton load of headaches avoided and quasi-suicide notes relinquished.
Well this is where Kenny comes in with the raw truth. 😉
The naked truth is: women want to fuck!!! 😯
Yep- I said it!
What you were taught by society, the media, your mother, schooling, the clergy, etc. were a load of bull fucking shit!
The notion that you should seek an exclusive relationship firstly, is the fastest way to land you on your face into the bottomless pit of dating hell.
Most sexually active women between the ages of 16-35, are totally fine with casual sex and hooking up just for the fuck of it.
They can care less for anything serious.
The raw truth is that most women end up in relationships (unwanted ones) because the men whom they meet, by default, play the relationship-frame game, essentially lulling the girl into relationship-expectancy mode…although she may not have wanted a relationship in the first place.
Moreover, since she doesn’t want to look like a wanton slut who enjoys casual sex [because men and society will crucify her], she will have committed halfheartedly to a relationship, knowing that she truly doesn’t want it.
This is where much of your relationship problems will arise from.
The girl is essentially looking an “out” by creating unnecessary drama, headaches and fights so that you may dump her…which is what she ultimately wants since she didn’t want to be in that relationship to begin with.
My friend on Facebook, is currently facing the exact same situation unbeknownst to him.
He’s been in a relationship which his girlfriend wants out of.
How did he get there in the first place?
Same way most of us men get there: missed expectations of what women want and a lack of understanding as to how women operate.
Had he known that most girls in their sexual prime just want to have fun, he would’ve saved himself a year’s worth of migraine headaches yet enjoyed some casual sex with the girl who is now trying to create shit loads of drama in order to sayonara.
Had he kept his expectations low [sex only], he would not have been in this predicament where he’s now contemplating to end it all in suicidal fashion.
Recently also, I was doing some phone coaching with a guy who wanted my help on getting a particular girl.
“Getting” will be the operative word here and the cause for confusion as you’ll see.
After being debriefed on his situation, I asked him frankly as I was a bit jaded with his naiveté, “What is it you want from this girl immediately? What is it you want”?
Guy: “To make her my girlfriend”.
Me: “Really? Are you saying that just to not appear politically incorrect by saying you want sex”?
Guy: “No. I really want to be with her”!
Me: “Why the fuck so”!?
Guy: “I don’t know. She’s hot…my ideal type”.
Me: “Listen! You really want to fuck this girl! Please do not bullshit me with the relationship talk as if I’m gonna judge you. You want to fuck her but are under the impression that you have to mislead her into thinking that you want to be with her first. That’s it”!
After the hard dose of reality which I had to cram down his throat while trying to barf it up, he finally conceded and agreed that he had it all twisted.
The thing is with most men, due to societal brain-washing, including a hidden agenda by western powers to eradicate the sex-loving Alpha-Male and usher in the sex-adverse Beta, 96% of men have been programmed into believing that wanting sex is bad, nasty, dirty and disrespect. And wanting it (or solely it), will kill your chances of ever connecting with women and by extension, will kill your chances of having a relationship.
With that being the case, 96% of us men are forced into approaching women with a “relationship first” mentality, even though as a horny guy, you can care less for a relationship because your hormones are raging and all you want to do is FUCK some new vagina!
However in these times, to think “sex” is now seen as misogyny, perversion, ungodliness, and an offense in the court of public opinion.
Read: Heterophobia by Roosh V.
Case in point, recently I was lambasted and threatened with death and lawsuits by women over a hidden-cam video I made where I approach 26 random strangers telling them that I love their g-string.
I was deemed a perverted villain throughout the social-media sphere within the islands of Antigua and Barbuda, solely for expressing my fondness for women in g-string. Hence, looking at a fine piece of ass is liable to get you slapped in the face with a sexual-harassment charge.
With that being the case, western societies are now flooded with men who really want sex, but feel a need to conceal their true desires [sex] by misleading women into thinking that they [the men] are solely seeking relationships and that sex can be placed on the back burner.
Now, when put on the spot by a brave and socially untamed girl, calling him out on wanting sex, the guy is left to back peddle, stutter and lie by saying to the new girl: “Nah! I’m not about sex at all! That’s the last thing on my mind! I want something serious”!
As for the guy whom I’d helped out via phone coaching, I had him re-frame his entire approach towards this particular girl and any other girl for that matter.
“Your goal should not be to get into a relationship with a new girl. Your sole aim should be to fuck her”!
The beauty in that (as I shared with him), is that after he would have taken her to bed, a relationship will have naturally been placed on the table in a mutual fashion where he can then decide “Rationally” if he’d like to date this girl exclusively or not.
It’s after you bang a girl, that you should entertain the idea of “Relationship”, and certainly not before!
If you haven’t fucked this girl yet, what even gives you the audacity to believe that she would want to get involved with you exclusively!?
What the fuck gives you, a stranger at that, the right to even think for someone else in such a case!?
In fact, when you really think about it, it’s very stupid, elementary and premature in a man, to already be thinking “Relationship” before he’d even proven himself worthy in the sex department.
I mean, that’s like wanting to purchase a cabana in the most pristine region of the world when you can’t even buy groceries on a weekly basis.
Your priorities are all fucked up dude!
Claiming to want an exclusive relationship with a girl whom you haven’t even fucked yet, is tantamount to shooting yourself in the foot…with a shotgun…at close range.
It isn’t plausible nor is it doable most times.
Women will see through your shit like plastic hence blunting your attempts at courting her by rejecting you altogether.
Therefore, relationship then sex, or sex with promise of a relationship, won’t work.
Girls won’t fall for it.
Sex begets relationship.
Ninety percent of relationships in the western world are born out of sex/sex first!
I don’t need any so-called relationship expert or mainstream data to support and verify this claim of mines.
As an exercise, you can simply survey your friends on this to see how many of them actually got into an exclusive relationship before ever having sex first.
Chances are: 9 in 10 will have answered” sex first”…that’s if they’re inclined to being truthful. Note: kiddie high-school relationships don’t count.
Saying all that to say, much of your dating and female woes can be avoided by simply realizing that:
1.) You don’t have to lie and mislead women about what it is you want.
2.) Women are totally satisfied with being fuck-buddies, friends with benefits and sleeping around with no strings attached.
Also realize that if your girlfriend, and to some extent your wife, has been handing you major shit which is uncalled for, there’s a high probability that this disgruntlement stems from buyer’s remorse and she regretting that you [the guy] had virtually corralled her into an unwanted or premature relationship or marriage [although she might have been the one angling and pushing for exclusivity].
She spits this regretful venom by acting out, being rebellious, uncooperative and CHEATING!
She wants a way out of the unwanted relationship yet she doesn’t want to break it off herself as to avoid the feeling of massive guilt for crushing you little-fucking Beta heart. 😦
Either she’ll push you to the brink of insanity, depression or suicide where you’ll have to let her go, or she’ll deal you the ultimate blow by either severing contact and or banging some other dude in order that you get the message crystal clear. But she’ll rarely ever verbalize it to you that she had regretted the relationship from the start.
If you currently find yourself in such a relationship or marriage with an unruly woman, take note that beneath the surface, she may very well resent you for spoiling her fun and essentially ruining her life.
“Fun” meaning the liberty to fuck other men without having to answer to a boyfriend (you).
The way in which I personally see it is like this:
Each girl, from the moment the 1st cock penetrates her tight vagina, her personal built-in fuck-meter becomes activated.
There’s a certain threshold (of variety in sex) which this fuck-meter must enter before the girl thinks of truly settling down.
If for any reason she’s forced to de-activate her fuck-meter before it reaches the max threshold (i.e. she gets into a relationship), she will have had more fuck-time in the bank in which she needs to exhaust before truly settling down.
Want proof of this?
How many relationships will the average sane and rational-minded woman, have been in throughout her lifetime?
Between 4 and 7 (my guesstimation from studying people and couples around me).
To be more on target, the average girl will have had 5 so-called monogamous relationships from the time of puberty until she hits 42 or there about.
It’s rare as flying donkeys that in these times, you can find a girl who has only had 1 sexual partner in her entire life…unless she’s an adolescent.
As to the “rare” adult female who might have had only 1 exclusive relationship, it still doesn’t alleviate the fact that she might have fucked other guys as a bachelorette.
What am I getting at here?
If most girls have had more than 1 sexual partner and more than 1 relationship in their lifetime, then it’s safe to say that, irrespective of the surface reasons for breaking up, it simply boils down to the fact that the girl’s proverbial fuck-meter hasn’t maxed out as yet!
She needs more dicks…from other men!
Therefore, she won’t ever desist from relationship-hopping and dick-hopping, until she has exhausted the desires within her to fuck other men.
It is only then she can truly settle!
A girl who’s in her sexual prime cannot settle down [at least not in these times, nor in these parts of the world]!
Likewise, a girl who’s fresh out of high school and in a monogamous relationship from high school, is likely to and liable to dump her boyfriend eventually for another guy. Or simply to enjoy singledom where she can fuck other guys with zero strings attached as her fuck-meter has barely hit 15% since she’s only 17-18 years old and has only had 1 boyfriend.
This girl will have had about 5-6 exclusive relationships within the next 15 years, not counting the months and years or so-called being single where she would’ve enjoyed attachment-free sex.
It’s for this reason I advise every high-schooler or college kid, to dump their girlfriends.
Either that or she’ll eventually fuck some other guy and dump you instead.
Realistically speaking, chances are, she won’t stay with you (happily) while being pent-up with all that youthful-sexual juice flowing inside of her.
As a girl passes her sexual peak or had maxed out her proverbial fuck-meter, settling down becomes the next-logical move for her.
The ultimate piece of advice I wish to leave with you, or any guy who will have encountered a girl whom he wishes to court, is to manage your expectations and prioritize correctly.
Shoot low before shooting high!
In other words, approach the situation as though your primary goal is to hook up.
If for some reason you fumble this approach, you can always shoot high for something more serious and see how that works out.
Set the bar low at first!
I’ve met hundreds of guys over the years [and I’d argue that this’ the norm] who try to get with women by aiming high, i.e. seeking relationships, then when the girl doesn’t reciprocate by saying that she doesn’t want a relationship at this point in life, the guy then (verbally) says, “Well I’ll settle for sex then”! 😯
That is totally absurd and the girl will have felt completely disrespected (rightfully so)!
I’d actually made this similar mistake donkey years ago when I was about 17 years old [I remember it like yesterday].
Being like every other guy, I assumed that every girl wanted an exclusive relationship. So a cousin of mine had introduced me to a girl who was a year my elder . We sat out on the stoop and I recall she asking me:
“So what are you looking for in relation to me”?
Me: “Ahmmmmmmmmmmmmm, to be with you”. ❓
Girl: “Lol to be with me!? But you don’t even know me. Plus to be honest, at this stage of my life, just finishing high school, I’m not looking for anything serious. Just friends”.
In hindsight: “Just Friends” is equivalent to saying “Casual Sex”.
This wasn’t the girl friend-zoning me since I never approached her in the context of wanting to be friends (but a couple). This was her way of saying “I just want to fuck”. But being naïve and young; I couldn’t see that.
Since I aimed high for a relationship and the girl rejected that idea, I then STUPIDLY tried to lower the bar by saying to her:
“We can just hook up if that’s ok with you”! 😯
I have to laugh as I reflect on it! 😆 😆
Of course the girl felt disrespected and rejected that idea also…even though she wanted it in the first place (to hook up).
Saying that to say, once you aim high with a girl by letting her know that you want to be with her exclusively, you cannot then back peddle to sex if she rejects your shot at a relationship!
Imprint that point deep into your fucking memory bank!
As a fellow man, I know every single one of you had made, and are still making that foolish mistake as I was accustomed to.
Now, the way in which you approach an answer to a girl saying to you, “I’m not looking for anything serious right now”, is as follow:
“Cool! Me neither. I prefer to go with the flow and let the wind take things wherever”!
Such a statement communicates 3 things to the girl:
1.) You’re spontaneous and whimsical (both pluses)
2.) You get it
3.) You’re socially ept unlike 95% of men she’d met during her lifetime
Ok, to reiterate for clarity; you meet a girl through whichever mean: friends, family, work, Facebook, online-dating site etc. Quite naturally, she will have asked you, “What is it you’re looking for”?
Instead of saying to her that you’re looking for a serious relationship (whether she or you wants 1 or not), you would say instead:
“Nothing serious. Just to meet someone chilled who takes life as it is, goes with the flow and let things fall into place”.
As vague as that sounds; the power lies within the vagueness of the statement [ remember to Always keep girls guessing and in a state of confusion…until you finally sleep with her ].
Hence, you don’t want a situation [all-too-familiar situation] where the girl asks you what it is you’re looking for, and you reply: “A relationship”, or “Just platonic friends”.
On the other hand, you neither want her to think that your sole interest is to fuck her…unless however you’re interacting with her face to face where you can heighten the sexual tension. But if online; steer clear of communicating that you’re looking for sex outright.
In that context: “going with the flow” means “sex”.
When you say to a chick online: “I don’t rush things. I go with the flow”. That is essentially and equivalent to saying to her, “I just want to fuck”, without actually saying, “I just wanna fuck”!
The girl’s internal processor will automatically make the translation.
However, you cannot tell a girl that you’re open to a relationship then if that doesn’t work out, you lower the bar to “just sex” or “go with the flow”.
The girl will have seen through the cunning deception hence rejecting you altogether on every level: friends, sex and relationship.
As to the topic of women wanting sex more than men do, I think it’s safe to say that it’s already been spelled out as to the truth of it and why it is that a woman has to conceal this truth.
It should also be abundantly clear to women as to why men conceal their sexual intentions.
It isn’t to be purposely misleading.
I leave you with 2 eye-opening videos on the topic at hand.