Apart from PUA-message boards, my second-most favorite forum in which to offer unadulterated advice on courtship is Yahoo Answers.
Over the past 4 months, I’d say that I have answered more than 1,000 questions from both males and females who are having dating issues.
A recent question which really had me worked up, hence creating a blog post about it, was an all-too-common inquiry which came from a guy named Ralph:
Ralph: “A girl i like came to me stressed and crying, what does it mean”?
Ralph’s entire post/question entailed the situation [a crying girl], what he’d done [allowed her to cry on his shoulders], and the question at the end [what does it mean].
My slap-in-Ralph’s-face advice was pretty much that: a back-to-reality slap 😯 !
Why Men Allow Women To Cry On Their Shoulders
First off ladies- I must present the hard truth. And the truth is: He really doesn’t give a fuck about your situation!
Let that marinate and sink in!
He’s thinking of himself and his sole-ulterior motive, which is:
“If I let her cry on my shoulders and be that guy she runs to whenever she’s hurt, she will eventually sleep with me”.
That is his motive and only motive for being there for you as your emotional tampon.
He can care a rat’s ass if your boyfriend had beaten you to a messy pulp. If you were to dare spread your legs to him while nursing a bloody face, you can bet a gazillion dollars that he would penetrate your vagina as quick as you can say “Go”!
The only guys who will ever give you a genuine-comforting shoulder to cry on whenever you need it, is a father, a male relative, or a guy who just isn’t into you at all, nor have any feelings for you.
Other than that, if the guy just remotely harbors an ounce of liking for you, then you should NEVER trust him as someone whom you can run to whenever you’re hurt and in need of a shoulder to cry on.
That’s what your father is there for…or mother…or brother…or counselor…you get the point.
Sure he will be comforting and consoling. But at the front, back and center of his mind, he’s salivating for that moment of penetration when you’re most vulnerable.
Bad boys, Assholes, Cheating Boyfriends…What They All Have In Common
Those guys are assertive in not having the bullshit.
If situations arise where the girl does try to seek an emotional tampon because of something another guy had said or done to her, those guys simply do what I will advise you at the bottom of the article.
Being there for a woman whenever her boyfriend had cheated or dumped her, will not win you any favors.
If you’re really just a nice guy who really thinks of himself as the king of comforting who genuinely wants to comfort women without any strings attached: then by all means- be that guy!
Become him to the fullest!
Just be prepared to make yourself a life-long subscriber to internet porn as you’ll be spanking the monkey from now until your cock falls off.
You’ll just be used like a bitch while she runs back to the same guy who had made her cry in the first place.
No matter how much you advise her and prove to her that her boyfriend is nothing but an asshole prick who doesn’t give a shit about her; she still won’t take heed, and you as the guy will be plucking your hair out wondering why she keeps fucking this guy after all the terrible things she told you about him!
Your efforts will have been in vain, which is why you should never try to convince a girl that she should stop seeing a certain guy on the premises that he’s an asshole, cheater and a no good bad boy.
This is effectively why in the pickup community, we have a covert tactic dubbed “The Boyfriend Destroyer, which is based on lowering her boyfriend’s value in her eyes by instead of bashing him, you covertly talk about the boyfriend as if he’s a cute and sweet specimen of a man.
This is reverse psychology at its best…or worst.
Why Women Seek Certain Guys’ Shoulders To Cry On…
Guys whom have been friendzoned by women are the usual suspects for the role of emotional tampon.
You are there solely for that purpose.
A girl will rarely ever run to a guy who she knows would bang her guts out, whenever she’s in need of a shoulder…unless she’s black-out drunk and incoherent.
What usually happens if the guy tries to breach this unwritten rule by getting sexual with the girl who’s in need of a shoulder, is that the girl would feel totally violated that a guy she’s trusted so much as her emotional tampon would have the audacity to violate her in such a manner by trying to fuck her 😯 !
Basically, there’s no win for you as her designated shoulder to cry on.
If you ever try to take it further (sexual), it will only result in the friendship being terminated and an awkward situation materializing afterwards.
If you do manage to bang her in such a state of grievance or drunkenness, it’ll feel as though you’d raped and violated her, which also means a subsequent-awkward vibe and a terminated friendship in the days to come.
Therefore, your best bet is to decline her attempts at throwing her emotional baggages and man problems upon you.
Read on for the how-to!
“As A Guy, How Do I Avoid Being Her Emotional Sponge”?
A woman’s attempt at using you as her emotional tampon comes in various formats:
1.) She calls you up whenever she has problems in her relationship, etc.
2.) She visits you whenever she needs a shoulder to cry on.
3.) She requests that you visit her whenever she needs a shoulder to cry on.
4.) She text you about it; whether that be about a guy she’s currently dating or about some other man drama.
This isn’t just a literal and physical reaching-out.
She calling you up at 11 PM crying or bitching about what some asshole had said to her or that her BF hasn’t come home, that is a form of seeking a shoulder to cry on or someone to spill her guts out to.
What you want to do in order to avoid being her designated bitch is to simply put her straight!
“Aam, hey Jenny, it’s 11 PM, I’m sleeping and I really cannot help you with this”.
You putting her straight also comes in various forms.
If she’s on the phone with you and the subject comes up of her boyfriend cheating on her and she’s pretty upset or saddened, the worst thing you can possibly do is to entertain that topic.
Simply change the fucking topic to anything else:
“Hey Jenny, that’s sad and all but I prefer we talk about [***whatever***] instead. It won’t help the situation to cry over it, so let’s drop it”.
Nice guys might be reading this going:
“Won’t she think I’m an insensitive asshole”?
Sure she will! But who gives a shit!
She will have realized what the red lines are with you and which subjects are off limits, then she will simply conform to your line of conversation.
She seeing you as an insensitive prick won’t deter her from sleeping with you neither.
On the other hand, she seeing you as a shoulder to cry on “WILL” deter her from sleeping with you.
Now, am I advising you to become an asshole?
Yes and no.
What I am saying is for you to exhibit a fair amount of touch love which may come across as being an asshole.
Women respond to asshole behavior in men, while repelling nice-guy behaviors and gestures in men.
Isn’t that fucked up and irrational LOL 😆 !?
Welcome to the world of women where the rules are skewed and pretty much upside down.