Did I over state the importance of this article by saying “Best Piece Of Advice Ever?
This article is absolutely the best piece of advice a man will have ever gotten when it comes to relationship.
This is make it or break it type of shit!
First off: no one (man or woman) gets into an LTR (Long-Term Relationship) with prior knowledge that it would have come about (a relationship).
Most relationships [I’d say a whopping 90% of them] were born by chance, and it happened suddenly: you wake up one day and realize that you have a certain connection with this other person, thus the relationship is hatched unexpectedly.
No one plans relationships.
They just happen (mainly with the woman putting psychological pressure on the guy to commit…but that’s another story).
“The Best Piece Of LTR Advice!”
Let’s look at the way we normally get into relationships and speak on that for a second (as mentioned above).
The probable setbacks of “just getting into a relationship spontaneously” are quite obvious:
•You didn’t plan for it.
•You don’t know much about the other.
•She may turn out to be a psycho-bitch.
•You probably weren’t ready, so it’s not working out.
The list of cons and setbacks are numerous as it pertains to “falling into a relationship” unexpectedly (as 90% of us do).
I came to the conclusion of 90% by surveying 50 guys in my Facebook-friend list, and 90 % of the 50 guys attest to getting into relationships unexpectedly (it just happened to them in other words).
With that said, for the guys reading this who are currently single and will eventually get into an LTR at some point: Please turn off the porn and listen the fuck up!!!
Never allow yourself to just fall into an LTR again! And never allow a girl to cajole you or force you into an LTR neither (as is the case more than 75% of times).
What you want to do instead is: Define the LTR early!!!
“Defining The Terms Of The Relationship EARLY”!!!
Yep! This is the elusive-grand secret I’ve been holding out on.
Early as possible, ensure that you (as the guy) set the boundaries, presidents and expectations for the pending relationship right from the get-go!
Example: once you notice that you’re now in a relationship, you know the scenario where the girl phones you and say, “Ummmm, what are we? Are we single or together”?
Every guy who’s ever been in an LTR is personally familiar with the scenario where the girl wants to know where she stands: is she your girl or just an on-going fling?
At that moment, if you as the guy is truly up for having a GF; then feel free to say, “Well, we’re together I guess”.
Subsequently, that should be the moment where you DEFINE YOUR RELATIONSHIP!
The problem most guys face when it comes to newly-hatched relationships is that they don’t lay out their cards on the table.
They ride the LTR wave onwards and nonchalantly go with the flow.
When it comes to relationships, going with the flow is the biggest mistake a guy can make. In that case, you’ll be going with the flow that the girlfriend sets [remember; relationships are a woman’s domain].
So you wanna say to her at this crucial juncture [doesn’t have to be verbatim, but among these lines]:
“Before we get any deeper into our new relationship, I have some things I need to lay out there first”:
•Under no circumstance will I tolerate unwarranted bouts of jealousy.
•As you know, I’m a party guy and I will want to continue my partying. I don’t feel that a relationship should deprive me of having fun.
•I’m a flirt as you know, so there will come instances where I may flirt with other women without it going further. I don’t believe flirting with girls should be an issue.
•I’m not ready for a committed monogamous relationship right now, for the fact that there are other girls I’m dating as you know. So an open relationship (or MLTR) would be ideal. Are you cool with that type of relationship for right now?
Guys, you get the drift.
It’s sort of like a verbal prenup. Let’s call it a pre-relationship agreement (verbal).
You’re basically letting her know earliest possible what you’ll stand for, accept, not accept, and expect, etc.
This should be common sense lol! But how many of us men do this at all in a relationship?
5% globally perhaps LOL?
Also, another crucial mistake guys make is to try doing this 6 months down the line in the LTR when the girl would have already been set into her pattern.
6 months is way too late!
3 weeks is way too late!
I made this mistake too!
I’ve been with my current MILF GF for over 3 years now. I didn’t follow any of the advice which I’m now sharing with y’all (plus I didn’t hatch this method then).
After rationalizing this concept, I tried incorporating some new ideas into the LTR, and my GF wasn’t having any of it!
It was way too fucking late (2 years in) for me to try switch things up when the pattern was already set and she had been the one to define the LTR.
However, with much trail, error and fighting with her, I’d managed to sit her down and lay out a new foundation for the relationship and what it will be like.
The average guy on the other hand who lacks balls and is clinging to his girlfriend like a vice-grip, he won’t be able to turn the tides like I did, thus his relationship will crumble or he’ll be forced to have to live by her ground rules in the LTR.
So you wanna define things early as possible.
You cannot be 5 months into the LTR then decide that you wanna change things up and revert back to your party lifestyle.
You will have had to tell her at the inception that partying will continue to be a part of your lifestyle, however on a lesser scale. So whenever you do decide to go out alone clubbing (5 months down the line, etc.), she cannot really bitch.
This is what she signed up for.
The reason she won’t bitch, and can’t bitch, is as I’d stated earlier : you laid out your cards, she accepted the virtual conditions to the relationship.
She signed up for it despite knowing that you’re a flirt, potential cheater, party-animal, Alpha-Male, etc.
She will have to swallow her tongue whenever she sees you in compromising situations like dancing with a hotter girl or flirting with the HB10-Bartender.
This hearkens me back to my current relationship of 3 years.
Guys and girls e-mail me all the time saying:
“Hey Kenny PUA, I love your blog bro’, but don’t you think you should refrain from posting certain things that your girl may possibly see and you get in trouble”?
“Hey Kenny PUA, ever thought about blogging anonymously instead since you have a GF”?
“You’re a dirty slutty bastard womanizer”!
What these readers fail to understand is exactly the mindset/frame I laid out in this article, which is the reason I never hide my PUA ways from my GF, nor do I hide my blog from her.
My GF knows that I’m a Pick-Up Artist.
I met her while running game at a grocery store (she was the cashier). I used PUA tactics on her over 3 years ago, and I told her that I was using routines [other guys seem startled when I tell them that I’m open about what I do].
The average guy now would seek to hide the fact that he’s a PUA or player. When he does get caught; he can’t explain, so he’s now branded a liar and misleading.
I, Socialkenny PUA, never mislead girls, nor do I mislead my girlfriend. And I never withheld the fact that I’m a PUA from any girl EVER!
My GF knows of my lifestyle, she knows what I write about, she knows that I meet with other women, she knows that I may fuck up periodically and bang an occasional-stray cat.
She knows all these things because I fucking tell her!!!
Fortunate for me: she accepts the potential bad with the good.
If I were a Beta-Male pussy, she would have laughed at my proposals, smacked me then dumped me.
However, she instinctively knew that I was the rare and elusive Alpha-Male every girl secretly desires, so she lives by my relationship conditions (mutual); not hers (exclusively).
95% of men in the western world live by the conditions that the girlfriend sets or expects.
Moreover, 95% of men in the western world live by conditions that women set [legally, socially, religiously, morally…]
While in regions like the Middle East, Asia, Eastern Europe, etc. : the men set the agenda for the relationships.
Western men lack balls and have been castrated and neutered by the wicked-feminism movement, while in the Eastern hemisphere, Alpha-Males/real men are rampant.
You couldn’t spot an Alpha-Male in NYC even if you had a high-tech gadget specifically manufactured to detect Alphas.
Anyway, so whenever I post articles of me on dates with other women, or post field reports with pics of me dancing with random girls; it’s without hesitation!
It’s without fear of word getting back to my girlfriend.
She reads my blog LOL! Periodically, she’d draw my attention to something on my blog (an anomaly, badly positioned photo, spelling errors, etc.).
Never has she phoned me and say, “Who’s that bitch you went out with!? I’m gonna kill you you fucking cheating dog”!
Sure we fuss, fight and argue (that’s normal), but it’s never over my lifestyle as a PUA and PUA coach.
She more bitches over random shit like:
“Kenny, why did you eat the last slice of cake? You need to start saving money instead of spending wild. Babes stop walking on the rug with your dirty shoes”!
So I don’t hide shit from my GF. And that reality for me was made possible by the simple fact that I’d defined the type of relationship I wanted from what I didn’t [although I was 2 years late in doing so].
Had I not done that, I would’ve been dumped a long time ago solely because of my blog content alone.
By the way, this is customary for 95% of PUA bloggers (universally) who may be in relationships; they don’t hide what they do from their girlfriends and spouses [except these dudes who are scared shit to post about dating multiple women: Manosphere Gamers afraid to reveal themselves].
Anyway, guys who are currently at this crossroad (about to be hitched and get into an LTR), or will get into an LTR in the future, follow the easy simple steps I laid out in this article [defining the type of relationship you want, don’t want from the get-go].
It’s just that fucking simple!
Those men who are already deep into their LTR’s (let’s say 4 months and more), and are desiring to “roll like Kenny” and have a change, there’s still hope (as was for me). But your Inner Game will have to be rock-solid first.
For example: let’s say that you’re 2 years into your LTR, you’d given up clubbing, but now regrets it and would like to start clubbing again just for fun sake.
Your GF will not be cozy with that idea. A million questions will have arisen as to why?
If you persist with insisting, and since she’s the 1 (presumably) with the most leverage in the LTR, she will call for a break or fucking dump you!
How dare you suggest going clubbing alone when you’re the underling/Beta of the relationship!!?
Now, if your inner game was strong or of decent capacity, you would accept that she dumped you and you would move on nonchalantly as possible, opposed to begging her to take you back [poor inner game].
If all goes according to plan, the fact that you’d gracefully accepted being dumped, will have fucked with her mind (her inner game), which would compel her to run back to you under your terms this time (since you’d demonstrated that you’re an Alpha who didn’t cry because she left).
Now when she crawls back to your doorstep (figuratively), the ball will be in your court. You set the new agenda, which is, “I will be clubbing from now on”. And she will have no choice but to accept it or move on (which she tried doing but didn’t work out).
The reason for me writing this article in the first place was from an observation last night.
Those following me on Twitter would’ve known that last night (as every other Friday nights), I was doing my things @ a bar/nightclub; gaming and tweeting like a maniac!
An associate of mines spotted me and said to me:
“Damn man! My fucking GF keeps calling me wondering where I’m at”!
Me: “She doesn’t know you’re at the club”?
Associate: “Nah! I lied and told her I…”.
Point is, he’s faced with having to sneak out and lie to his GF about going to the club (apparently she doesn’t approve, and she was the one who set the LTR’s standards).
I on the other hand, do NOT hide nor have to hide it from my GF that I went clubbing. Nor do I have to inform her of it (although I do @ times in the name of transparency). Read the post where I’d met up with my GF’s freaky niece by chance at the bar.
When you set the agenda and terms of your LTR; you do whatever the hell you want!
And if you don’t set it, she gets to set it exclusively by virtue of default (since relationships/monogamy are a woman’s domain).
She doesn’t have to say to you at the inception, “I expect this, that, I stand for this, that…”. As long as you as the guy doesn’t define what you want, she will automatically do it for you, and it won’t be to the guy’s liking.
Relevant articles from around the seduction community:
I’m a believer in karma, retribution and giving people a dose of their own medicine.
Two weeks ago, I texted a former fuck-buddy of mines to set up a booty-call:
HB8: “Won’t be possible from now on”.
Me: “I’m guessing you have a BF now”.
HB8: “Yep. I’m trying to be faithful to him”.
Me: “Cool! I can’t be mad @ that”.
Me: “You should pass by later and we chill”.
HB8: “Nope! I’ll be with my man later”.
Me: “Lol Cool. You’re sprung”.
HB8: “I wouldn’t say that. Just being a good girlfriend. Coming by you and having sex and shit won’t be a in the picture from now on. Sorry”.
Me: “It’s all good”.
[Last Night @ 1 AM On BB Messenger]:
HB8: “What’s up Ken”?
Me: “Cool as a fan”.
HB8: “Ok. What’s your plans now”?
Me: “Bit busy but I wouldn’t mine giving you some dick at some point”.
HB8: “Lol you’re so forward. But that sounds nice though. My boyfriend is fucking up and wasting fucking time”!
Me: “Yea I feel you. 1 day good, another bad”.
HB8: “For real! Well it’s bad now and I can use some sex real bad to be honest lol. Can you come over”?
Me: “Yea sure. Gimme a half hour”.
HB8: “Ok Kenny”.
[45 Minutes Later Via BBM]:
HB8 :Ping! Ping! “It’s almost an hour later”.
HB8: “Why so long to come by”?
HB8: “Hello!!!! Kenny”!
HB8: “Kenny if you not coming just let me know and don’t waste. My time”!
HB8: “It’s now after 2. I’m sleepy”.
Did I do that on purpose?
No let me rephrase that: hell fucking yea!!
Why should women be able to pull these sort of mind-game shit on men all day, yet it’s seen as head games when men decide to turn the tables?
So I basically flaked on her intentionally and led her on to believe that I was coming over to bang her brains out. But the main thing to look at is how some chicks [I’d say most who are sexually active] will turn down your advances for sex now, then they’d casually contact you ON THEIR TERMS fishing for sex.
This is a TRUE example of chic logics [irrational behavior by women] that we speak of in the pick-up community.
One minute she hates you, the next she loves you.
One minute, she doesn’t want to fuck you, then the next, she’s texting you for a booty-call.
One minute, she’s in love with her BF and wants to be faithful for life. Then days later, she wants to cheat and test the waters.
Overall, I don’t think that I was an asshole for standing up that girl last night.
Sure I wanted to do the nasty with her, but after recalling how she came off as a hypocrite and blew me off; I think it’s fair game that I did the same.
Just another day in the life of a rockstar Pick-Up Artist giving thanks.
The world knows that I don’t celebrate thanksgiving ’cause it was hatched on the massacre of thousands of Native Americans by blood-thirsty settlers.
Nevertheless, with reservation, I want to acknowledge some female bloggers who have shown me massive amounts of love over the past year by interacting on my site, thus keeping it striving (and vice versa).
Irony is, although this’ a male-oriented blog (seduction), 80% of my commentors are chics, who in essence, shouldn’t want anything to do with reading PUA blogs; especially mines which is littered with misogynistic rhetoric and the glorification of man-whoring!!!
Anywho, basically consider this my thanksgiving gift to my female bloggers!
As much as I’m opposed to orgies, I lust for the day to come in which I can organize a grand orgy with all of the following female bloggers LOL.
So, Socialkenny PUA would like to thanks the following chic-bloggers (all of who are sexy BTW) in no specific order of sexiness:
Oh, before I bounce, I just wanted to point out the dichotomy/irony of this blog being male-targeted but women interact more.
This’ the problem with men; we are fucking too proud [except me]!
Guys tend to believe that if they check out and read websites about picking up women, it confirms that they need help with women. So to satisfy their huge egos [Beta mentality]; they refrain from reading and commenting on sites such as this one.
That is the reason why many women read and comment on my blog opposed to men. Women have nothing to lose here, while men have to protect their fragile egos of being associated with men’s-help blogs.
So I definitely appreciate my fellow-male bloggers Reema and MP of Black men uncensored who put ego aside to chime in rather than staying away just to protect their egos.
Anywho, Thanks to all of the chic-bloggers for sticking with me through rough and tough, bump and grind. I know that I’m not the easiest guy to get along with [half of the women on this list have felt my wrath of no-bullshit before].
Usually, my asshole approach to advising girls seems to resonate stronger than when I dumb it down to be politically correct.
A while ago, I wrote about the #1 way in which a girl will turn a guy off [unbeknownst to her], and how to avoid making such stupid-fucking blunder [pardon the Creole]: read it here little lasses.
With that said, I’m back cracking again, hoping to improve the chances of both sexes merging, fucking and making babies!
However, if women continue making the following verbal faux-pas (real world or online dating), they will essentially be killing their chances of ever maintaining a guy’s interest beyond the 1st. Phone call, let alone the 1st. date!
Ok drum roll…!!!
4 Things Women Are Better Off Not Sharing Early
1.) We do NOT wanna hear about how bad your last BF was, or how badly he beat you up, abused you and cheated on you [however unfortunate].
Girls tend to let emotions get the best of them and spill too much of the beans right off the bat.
Sure The guy will listen to your sob-stories and seem to empathize with your past struggles by saying, “Wow, how sad. That’s fucked up”!
However, he’ll be saying to himself (internally); “This chic is nuts! Too much baggage way too early”!
Subsequently, his next move will be an exit strategy (from the phone call, date, online chat or wherever).
So keep your mouths shut about a past abusive LTR (relationship). Crying down men as beaters and dogs won’t get you anywhere in the dating world as a single girl.
2.) Equally as important; keep the male-bashing to yourself girl!!!
Women seem to not realize that a man have a secret/subconscious brotherhood type of connection with his fellow man.
Bro’ code stems from this unconscious concept: bros before hoes essentially.
Therefore, when a girl talks shit about another man, it subconsciously affects the way we see her. She’s in essence talk about all men [including me].
So whenever you’re on a date with a new BF prospect (or even a dude you just met online), and you’re looking to give a decent impression: please refrain from man-bashing as if it’s a plague (which it is in relation to courtship).
3.) “I have lots of guy friends. I hang out with guys”!
This is fucking suicide!
Might as well strap on the explosives and detonate the device instantly!!!
This’ probably ‘the’ biggest mistake in the book which a girl can ever make when looking to land a boyfriend (eventually), or keep one.
When a man hears from a girl, “I have male friends, I mostly hang out with guys, I hate bitches because they back bite too much”!
He interprets that as if you’d said, “I bang my male friends every night, and we have massive orgies, and if you were to ever go steady with me; I would bang all of your guy friends too”.
He’s NOT going to be doing back flips that he finally fount a girl whom he can bring to guy’s night out.
There’s not 1 positive emotion you can elicit in the guy when you tell him that you have many male friends (or any at all).
This revelation is best kept secret, ’cause if he does get cajoled into making you his GF down the line; he will have trust issues [unless he’s an Alpha-Male like I am; and even I would have trust issues].
4.)“I’ve had an abortion (or miscarriage)”.
This may not be a nail in the coffin, but some men (lots of us) don’t care to know about this.
It’s not a matter of if he’s pro or against abortions. It’s the fact that he will assume that you slept around a lot and end up getting knocked up for some random guy, then had an abortion or miscarriage [which probably was the case].
You wanna stay away from mentioning things which would make him perceive you as a wanton slut.
For instance, if the topic of kids arises [do you want, do you have?], no need to say:
“I do want kids some time in the near future. But I had a miscarriage/abortion once, and that really fucked me up for a while”.
As I said previously, it’s not that it’d turn the guy off completely, but it just won’t resonate in a positive way. You’re not gaining any points be telling these super emotional intimate misfortunes.
This is something you can let out the bag down the line; let’s say if a relationship does materialize.
However, this is way too much info [TMI], way too early in the game [acquaintance stage] to be revealing such things.
We don’t wanna friggin’ know about it!
More bad could be done than good by mentioning it.
Women are pretty naïve when it comes to their impressions of men [sorry for the hard truth].
men on the other hand; we know men!
We know that the guy who you consider “just a friend”, is actually scheming on the pussy.
Girls on the other hand will say shit like, “He’s just a friend. He never even made a pass at me”.
He’s probably been LJBF’d (friendzoned), but that still doesn’t mean he won’t pass that boundary and try to fuck you at a moment of vulnerability or horniness.
Overall, the 4 tips come down to putting a muzzle on the mouth when it comes to the 4 things I mentioned.
A good first or second impression is key (as we all know).
Fastest way to ruin that and fuck your chances with a new guy, is to find yourself in conversation about 1 or all of the 4 things I pointed out.
This all reminds me of an episode of VH1’s Tough Love reality show, where Steve [the matchmaker] sets the girls up on dates with some new guys. He specifically advised them on the topics to avoid bringing up on the dates.
If they did bring up those topics [like the 4 I’d mentioned], he would zap them with a device he had taped to each girl’s ankle. So every time (while on the date) that the girls would bring up a no-no topic, Steve would zap them.
The point was to not turn the guy off by making a bad impression by bringing up certain topics.
*Don’t mention how bad last BF was!
*Don’t talk bad about men to another man!
*Don’t mention that you have, or hang out with lots of guys.
* Don’t bring up the time(s) you had a miscarriage or abortion!