Call it a Jedi-mind trick or some twisted sort of karma working against us. But for guys who get laid regularly, or even the ones who don’t, they would’ve been familiar with this dichotomous jinx.
Come on guys, I know there are times you’ve gone out, expecting to get laid, so you stuffed your pockets with condoms.
Then when you do go out (bar, club, party), shit doesn’t go according to plan, so you head back to the crib with the same 10 rubbers you left with. Even carrying just 1 condom seems to activate this weird jinx.
Likewise, there must have been times where you went out, forgot your rubbers, then sex just happens to fucking magically present itself.
Or how about the time you went out, totally had no intentions on banging anything, so you didn’t bother taking any condoms with you, then the high prospect of sex just happens to show its ugly head!!!
If you’re a man over the age of 25, and you’ve never had this jinx happen to you: then It’s safe to say that you’ve only been in less than 5 pussies throughout your manhood [that’s a damn shame].
Field Report Of An HB9
Few years ago, I went clubbing at The Coast nightclub on the Caribbean island of Antigua.
My sole intentions were just to field test some newly learnt pick-up routines (mainly body language takeaways). No intentions of actually taking an HB home to sample her vagina. Strictly field testing.
Lo and behold!!! I inadvertently picked up the hottest girl in the club that Friday night!!!
Managed to pull her back to my expensive- downtown hotel [via PUA mind trick].
All along, it never dawned on me that I didn’t have any fucking rubbers!!! It was like 5 AM, all stores closed, I’m unfamiliar with the town, so I couldn’t find a 24 hour pharmacy to save my friggin’ life!
When I got this HB9 through the door, I realized that I’m actually about to fuck this hot chic! But I have no rubbers [Fuck!!]!!
Not that I was against banging her raw dog (as I did every other chic prior). But time was winding down fast. I had a 6 AM flight to catch, and it was already after 5. So I really didn’t have adequate time to convince her to fuck raw.
I sat her fine ass on the decorated bed, went to the bathroom and beat myself the fuck up for not buying any condoms in advance!
We proceeded, foreplay, head, cunnilingus [this chic was the 1st and only squirter I ever met. She literally squirted at will like 7 times as she orgasmed as I ate her pussy. This HB9 drenched the pillow that was on the other bed 10 feet away. No fucking joke brodie]!!!
I tried sliding the dick in (raw dog) under the radar on some covert-stealth shit, but she protested subtly [token resistance that I could’ve overrode with the least of verbal play]. I kissed her passionately again, ate her again to a squirt (from behind), quickly slid the head in, she jumped forward saying “No”. But it was the kind of “No” which really meant ‘YES’: keep trying and you’ll get it”.
In a moment of desperation and high state of horniness, she came up with a clever suggestion, “Why don’t you knock on the other guests’ doors and ask if anyone can loan you a spare condom“?
Wow!! A hot girl with brains!!
Took her suggestion and went banging on the doors of the other guests next door. It was like 5:40 AM, I had a 6 AM flight back home to NYC, and I’m having no fucking luck at waking anyone up!!!
Spotted a drunk dude who was probably coming from the club! I begged him for a rubber, and that I had a hot bitch in my room butt-ass naked. Told me to hold on, came back and handed me something which was the size of a fucking waffle. I was like, “Dude, my dick ain’t that big. I can’t fit this shit“!
Then he told me it was a female condom!! I was like WTF!! I never knew they existed, let alone how to use one. He said that’s all he had.
Hurried to take it to the chic and get busy. But she too never seen a female condom!WTF!! She didn’t know how it works neither, so we struggled to read the faded instructions (to no avail), ripped it open [the shit was the size of a hair net], we both stood there confused as fuck!
Peeked at the clock and noticed I had about 20 minutes to get to the airport. Shit!!!! Took a quick shower, ditched the chic alone in the hotel…
What I learned:
1.) Sex comes when you least expect it.
2.) If you walk around with condoms, anticipating to get laid: you won’t get laid.
3.) When you don’t carry condoms, chances of getting laid is extremely higher.
So my solution was to never carry condoms on me, but at least have a stash home in case I brought a chic to the bachelor pad.
Am I the only guy who’s been in this predicament, where potential sex comes when he leasts expects. And it doesn’t come when he expects?