Still fucking unemployed!!

What does it take nowadays to land a fucking job:be it a shitty one or decent one at that?Not even if I resorted to talking to Jose about a job on his tomato plantation would that seem to suffice SMDH.

I’m at the point where selling my body for some cash is looking pretty reasonable right now LMAO[not on any homo shit but to start banging undesirable obese-women].Watching a few episodes of the Showtime Network’s Gigolo has me entertaining the idea lol.

STATISTICS:

I haven’t been officially taking stats on my job search,but over the past year,I’ve applied for about 20 jobs[staggering I know lol] and landed NADA,ZERO,ZILCH,whatever the hell you wanna call it.I’m 0 for 20 in the jobs department.My sex life has more positive numbers[despite the friggin' flakes].

Among the places I applied to were 3-5 star hotel/resorts here on island.I never thought it would be so fucking difficult to get a bartending gig.Since when was bartending such a highly coveted and prized job that these MOFOS keep denying my applications!!?

To add salt to the wound,the most recent hotel which rejected my resume for a bartender,I did some follow-up research and discovered that they’d hired a muthafucking 18-year old chic as the new bartender for the vacancy SMDH!!Fresh out of high school,no work experience,no experience in mixology,couldn’t tell the difference between an Apple Martini and a Sex on the Beach-yet she gets the fucking job!!!!?

Well I guess pussy/sex does sell!

These bastards down here in the Caribbean don’t hire potential employees based on work experience,certificates nor qualifications.As long as you have a vajayjay between the legs:those employers salivate at the possibility of easy sex or indirect bribery.

I wonder how my fellow pick-up artist Johnny MILF Quest has been doing in the UK(since we’re in the same fucked-up boat).Holla at me Milf Quest!

Seems like my next best option would be to go on the road and take a world tour like my man Turner been doing(Around the world in 80 jobs).Mexico is looking brighter as far as employment is concerned LMAO!!

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To stay active and some what sane,my landlord owns a beach bar here on the island[The Pink Sand Beach Bar],so I’ve been pitching in at his joint as a bartender.

*The upside and plus to that is that I get to game hot-ass tourists and further my credentials as a drink-mixologist.

*The downside is that I’m not fucking getting paid!

A year of unemployment,shitty-odd jobs and being tossed on the back-burner by backwards establishments and companies is a hard pill to swallow.

If most of my time wasn’t spend picking up women,I swear I would’ve gone AWOL and MIA.

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Added Info:
Last week,I’d applied for a security job at the international airport(from an ad in the newspaper).So I’d basically be like those hated-TSA guys(in America)who harass travelers at the airports.

What better job than to be watching sexy-ass tourists everyday and get the opportunity to actually grope them legally in a pat down LMAO[just kidding feminists].

So-we’ll see how that goes down.

I can be this lucky guy soon.

Tequila Sunrise =’s Attraction

Dammit I’m hooked just looking at it!

Go figure-my first post of the year is about getting twisted and hammered off some exotic-looking cocktails lmao…well not actually hammered but tipsy at least.

What good is a seduction-artist if he doesn’t have good taste in mixed drinks[goes hand in hand right]?

Oh yea,I have to plug my girl Tia for inspiring this post.I’ve been neglecting blogging about alcohol,so when I came across Tia’s article on a pomegranate-based Martini[check it out here],I was instantly struck with a rush of inspiration.

Ok,let’s get it cracking like a dozen eggs!

When I’m rolling in the club or bar,alpha-swag on high,getting ready to swoop down on my harmless-feminine prey like a hawk on a barn rat[ok bad metaphor]:if I’m not toting a glass of Malibu Coconut Rum with PJ and a splash of Grenadine,I’d most likely have a Tequila Sunrise.

Now,I can hear the guys in the manosphere saying,”Hey Kenny,you’re fucking soft bro’!That’s a girl drink LMAO!Agreed!But a cocktail with an exquisite look to it is just ‘oh-so attractive’.Kind of like a well-dressed chic compared to a not-so well-dressed girl[y'all get the picture].

Anyway,I’m too fucking lazy right now to post the recipe,so I’m gonna leave it up to y’all to google the ingredients if interested.

The added benefits to a great-tasting cocktail is the ability to open a set(of girls)and instantly hook them via what’s in your glass.I cannot begin to count the amount of times I’m gaming a girl at the bar and she INSTANTLY becomes intrigued by my Tequila Sunrise!That shit is like chic-crack!!Sure separates you from the guy who’s holding a bottle Heineken LMAO.

So guys,if you wanna attract some hot girls at whichever venue you’re at:just tell the camarero(bartender-I love the Spanish word for bartender)to mix you a glass of Tequila Sunrise.And if they don’t know the simple ingredients:request to see the manager to get their ass fired lmao[just kidding]!

My favorite rum ever

Let me say this from the get-go:if Malibu doesn’t give me a year’s worth supply of free bottles for endorsing their rum,I may have to make a switch to Coco Caribe[no hard feelings Mali']!

Typically,everyone I know mixes it with OJ but I prefer pineapple juice instead.

How many of y’all actually drink Malibu or any other coconut rum?

Feedback appreciated.