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3 things a guy would hate about girls in the Caribbean islands.
This’ actually a photo taken of some girls at a concert in the island of Trinidad a while back.
It’s 2012,and I’m still having to write semi-rant posts about women and poor grooming!! This list absolutely pisses me off and equally turns me off.It even gives me the goose bumps to blog about this,so I’ll get it over with- quick,fast and in a hurry:
1.)They dress very Tom-boyish unless they’re going to some function,event or party.I’m talking about baggy-ass basketball shorts or windbreakers,with an equally fucking oversize t-shirt.Enough to make a man’s dick shrivel faster than a prune in the sun.
So it’s almost impossible to discern whether she has a shape or if she’s flatter than a surfboard…on both sides.
2.)65% of them do NOT shave their armpits nor legs regularly.
I remember 7 years ago,chillin’ on a balcony of a night club,and the girl sitting next to me(an HB 9 on looks),literally had more hair on her legs than I do!!And I’m a hairy muthafucka LMAO!!
Thought she was the exception,but she’s actually the rule and the norm.
The MILFS and Cougars actually keep their shit up to par with hygiene and grooming.But the chics from ages 17-30: 75% of them are satisfied looking like teen-wolves for a good portion of the year SMFH!
Could be the reason why I mainly sarge and pick up girls over age 35(in the islands).
If it’s 1 thing I noticed(via traveling and interacting):the Spanish-speaking islands are super keen on grooming(Dominican Republic,Puerto Rico & Belize).It’s solely in the English-speaking ones that the young girls are fucking regressive when it comes to grooming.
3.)They think it’s sexy to be fat and overweight!
It’s sought of a Caribbean cultural thing where Slim is equated to being poor and unhealthy.While being fat and heavy is a sign of good health,wealth and desirability.
This mentality actually goes back to the Victorian age of Britain(1830′s),where plump women were highly desired and preferred to slim ones.Being fat symbolizes healthy and higher social status.
But goddamn,this is 2012!!
Sex comes when you least expect
Call it a Jedi-mind trick or some twisted sort of karma working against us.But for guys who get laid regularly,or even the ones who don’t,they would’ve been familiar with this dichotomous jinx.
Come on guys,I know there are times you’ve gone out,expecting to get laid,so you stuffed your pockets with condoms.
Then when you do go out(bar,club,party),shit doesn’t go according to plan,so you head back to the crib with the same 10 rubbers you left with.Even carrying just 1 condom seems to activate this weird jinx LMAO.
Likewise,there must have been times where you went out,forgot your rubbers,then sex just happens to fucking magically present itself SMFH.
Or how about the time you went out,totally had no intentions on banging anything,so you didn’t bother taking any condoms with you,then the high prospect of sex just happens to show its ugly head!!!
If you’re a man over the age of 25,and you’ve never had this jinx happen to you:then It’s safe to say that you’ve only been in less than 5 pussies throughout your manhood[that's a damn shame].
Few years ago,I went clubbing at The Coast nightclub on the Caribbean island of Antigua.
My sole intentions were just to field test some newly learnt pick-up routines(mainly body language takeaways).No intentions of actually taking an HB home to sample her vagina.Strictly field testing.
Lo and behold!!!I inadvertently picked up the hottest girl in the club that Friday night!!!
Managed to pull her back to my expensive- downtown hotel[via PUA mind trick lol].
All along,it never dawned on me that I didn’t have any fucking rubbers!!!It was like 5 AM,all stores closed,I’m unfamiliar with the town,so I couldn’t find a 24 hour pharmacy to save my friggin’ life!
When I got this HB9 through the door,I realized that I’m actually about to fuck this hot chic!But I have no rubbers[Fuck!!]!!Not that I was against banging her raw dog(as I did every other chic prior).But time was winding down fast.I had a 6 AM flight to catch,and it was already after 5.So I really didn’t have adequate time to convince her to fuck raw.
So I sat her fine ass on the decorated bed,went to the bathroom and beat myself the fuck up for not buying any condoms in advance LMAO!
We proceeded,foreplay,head,cunnilingus[this chic was the 1st and only squirter I ever met.She literally squirted at will like 7 times as she orgasmed as I ate her pussy.This HB9 drenched the pillow that was on the other bed 10 feet away.No fucking joke brodie]!!!
I tried sliding the dick in(raw dog)under the radar on some covert-stealth shit [LMAO],but she protested subtly[token resistance that I could've overrode with the least of verbal play].I kissed her passionately again,ate her again to a squirt(from behind),quickly slid the head in,she jumped forward saying “No”.But it was the kind of “No” which really meant ‘YES’:keep trying and you’ll get it”.
In a moment of desperation and high state of horniness,she came up with a clever suggestion,”Why don’t you knock on the other guests’ doors and ask if anyone can loan you a spare condom“?
Wow!!A hot girl with brains LMAO!!
Took her suggestion and went banging on the doors of the other guests next door.It was like 5:40 AM,I had a 6 AM flight back home to NYC,and I’m having no fucking luck at waking anyone up!!!
Alas!!
Spotted a drunk dude who was probably coming from the club!I begged him for a rubber,and that I had a hot bitch in my room butt-ass naked.Told me to hold on,came back and handed me something which was the size of a fucking waffle. I was like,”Dude,my dick ain’t that big.I can’t fit this shit“!
Then he told me it was a female condom LMAO!!I was like WTF!!I never knew they existed,let alone how to use one.He said that’s all he had.
Hurried to take it to the chic and get busy.But she too never seen a female condom [LMBAO]!WTF!!She didn’t know how it works neither,so we struggled to read the faded instructions(to no avail),ripped it open[the shit was the size of a hair net],we both stood there confused as fuck!
Peeked at the clock and noticed I had about 20 minutes to get to the airport.Shit!!!!Took a quick shower,ditched the chic alone in the hotel…
1.)Sex comes when you least expect it.
2.)If you walk around with condoms,anticipating to get laid:you won’t get laid.
3.)When you don’t carry condoms,chances of getting laid is extremely higher.
So my solution was to never carry condoms on me,but at least have a stash home in case I brought a chic to the bachelor pad.
Am I the only guy who’s been in this predicament,where potential sex comes when he leasts expects.And it doesn’t come when he expects?
Women Are To Be Blamed Ultimately For Dead-Beat Dadism
Who’s responsible for dead-beats?
Another heart-warming post that’s sure to have feminists pissing their man-pants, and women itching to take me out to the gallows to hang:Saddam style.
However,If women were vigilant, prudent and even rational enough, they would’ve at least screened the guys they deal with before they let them enter their pink-moist fleshes.
With a simple screening process,dead-beat dads would be down by 80% globally!
Instead,women think with their emotions & wett vaginas.Whoever coined the saying[must have been a femi-Nazi] that,”men think with their penises“,need to have his/her head examined.Fuck that!Women think with their vaginas!
The female cries of:
“He tricked me,
He lied to me,
He told me he would be there,
He told me that he will take care of the kids…”
Really!!?That’s no excuse for making poor decisions.
You(the woman)wanted to believe that he meant it.You want to convince yourself that that guy is genuine:although he sends 1,000 red flags to the contrary[that he's only there to stick and move like a boxer].
Sticking and moving
I don’t have enough fingers to begin to count the amount of chics I knew in NYC(where I was raised and grew up) who bore kids for some scum-bag drug dealer for the stupid fact that he had curly hair,or that he was light-skinned[SMFH]!The same ignorance occurs Down South,Mid West and on the West Coast.
Thousands of black girls in the Caribbean also(my 2nd.home) bear kids with Indian guys just because they want a baby with straigher hair.Doesn’t matter if he’s an obvious dead-beat to be: as long as that baby will emerge out that vagina looking like Prince.
And it’s by no means just the global-black community.This shit happens among every race and ethnicity[women making irrational,spur-of the moment choices to get impregnated].
Beneath all the bullshit,she knew what she was bargaining for.She knew he was a(potential)dead-beat sweet-talker who really wants no part of a baby.Yet she proceeds,gets fucked,creampied,ignored,dumped,stuck with 3 kids,then complains about child support money.
Most women may say,”Well it’s his dick.He had a choice too.He could’ve worn a condom“.As I said in a Controversial article earlier in the year,”Men were biologically created to procreate as much as possible“.Our duty is to impregnate.Our job isn’t to be selective about whom we impregnate(although we are).It’s the women’s duty to be selective about which guy she let’s impregnate her,since she has way more to lose(almost a year out of commission).So she should chose wisely of who gets to fuck her and cum in her.
Gone should be the days of women bashing men as dead-beats.Instead,women should man up and take responsibility for their dumb decisions…or indecision.
Until women begin to read these articles and understand what men’s primary duty as a living being is[to sleep with many women and impregnate many],she would begin to NOT view men as callous dogs and deab-beats,but adhering to our primal duties and nature.
BTW,this article was not an excuse for dead-beat dads.
America the Hypocrite[Syrian conflict].
Syrian’s great president
In America,where the primary source of world news is from a bias CNN,or some other news-outlet which only tells 1 side of the story(the America’s side),it’s no surprise that they always get it wrong.
The greatest propaganda-spreading nation on Earth is America.The government and media would convince you that taking a shit is somehow shaving 10 years off your life.And the more you shit-the sooner you’d die.
With the current conflict in Syria,that clown Obama(whom I love by the way)and his administration(I am a Liberal),has been PUBLICLY plotting an uprising and overthrow of the Syrian government(we all know that this is nothing new).Hilliary Clinton publicly met with Syrian’s opposition party to discuss a revolution SMFH.
And to top it off,America actually supports terrorist organizations within Syria,who are causing the chaos and bloodshed.Once again:nothing new there(America did fund and support Bin Laden against the Soviets).
The Syrian government(Assad’s)is fighting against those home-grown terrorists in hopes to squash the conflict.But the great spin-doctor – America, claims that Syria is murdering innocent civilians instead or armed gangs/terrorists.Once again:American-bullshit propaganda.
Here’s the hypocrisy:
Imagine if a group,gang,militia army,KKK,Black Panther were to physically and violently rise up against their own government in America…Would we not expect the US armed forces to crush them and blow them to smitherines?
Imagine if some street thugs were to storm the capitol and the White House and start killing shit.Would the National Guard not massacre them?Of fucking course they would!!And no one,nor any government would say that Obama needs to step down,resign and be charged for war crimes aginst his own people.
But when the Syrian government(Assad) and the Libyan government(Ghaddafi)fight home-grown terrorists,America butts in,sides with the terrorists,then call for Assad(a good man BTW) to step down and leave SMH.
But if a foreign government were to side with Timothy McVeigh(the Oklahoma bomber) or the KKK to overthrow the American government:I bet America wouldv’e invaded that nation and wipe it off the map.
So,America needs to stop siding with terrorists,stop funding terrorists(from Israel to Syrian rebels)to overthrow other governments in order to supplant puppet regimes like in Iraq,Afghanistan,Libya, & Egypt.
Muammar Ghaddafi was a good man.He was known for aiding and helping many poor-black African nations.And instrumental in aiding many small islands in the Caribbean(even mines of Antigua),while the rich America never gave a shit about anyone else who wasn’t American.
Same as president Bashar Al- Assad of Syria,he’s known as a stand-up guy in Syria.He doesn’t oppress his people one bit(never did).He’s a muslim,yet Christians of Syria are free as can be to attain anything just as their muslim neighbors.
But because he opposes America’s darling Israel,and allied with Iran:America deems him a terrorist,no good and has to go.
I think it’s time that nations of the world man up and tell America to stay the fuck out of their business!And if Americans had balls,they would stand up and tell their president,congress and politicians to stay the fuck out of others’ affairs!No wonder 9-11 happened.
Just saying!
Still fucking unemployed!!
What does it take nowadays to land a fucking job:be it a shitty one or decent one at that?Not even if I resorted to talking to Jose about a job on his tomato plantation would that seem to suffice SMDH.
I’m at the point where selling my body for some cash is looking pretty reasonable right now LMAO[not on any homo shit but to start banging undesirable obese-women].Watching a few episodes of the Showtime Network’s Gigolo has me entertaining the idea lol.
I haven’t been officially taking stats on my job search,but over the past year,I’ve applied for about 20 jobs[staggering I know lol] and landed NADA,ZERO,ZILCH,whatever the hell you wanna call it.I’m 0 for 20 in the jobs department.My sex life has more positive numbers[despite the friggin' flakes]. Among the places I applied to were 3-5 star hotel/resorts here on island.I never thought it would be so fucking difficult to get a bartending gig.Since when was bartending such a highly coveted and prized job that these MOFOS keep denying my applications!!? To add salt to the wound,the most recent hotel which rejected my resume for a bartender,I did some follow-up research and discovered that they’d hired a muthafucking 18-year old chic as the new bartender for the vacancy SMDH!!Fresh out of high school,no work experience,no experience in mixology,couldn’t tell the difference between an Apple Martini and a Sex on the Beach
Well I guess pussy/sex does sell!
These bastards down here in the Caribbean don’t hire potential employees based on work experience,certificates nor qualifications.As long as you have a vajayjay between the legs:those employers salivate at the possibility of easy sex or indirect bribery.
I wonder how my fellow pick-up artist Johnny MILF Quest has been doing in the UK(since we’re in the same fucked-up boat).Holla at me Milf Quest!
Seems like my next best option would be to go on the road and take a world tour like my man Turner been doing(Around the world in 80 jobs).Mexico is looking brighter as far as employment is concerned LMAO!!
To stay active and some what sane,my landlord owns a beach bar here on the island[The Pink Sand Beach Bar],so I’ve been pitching in at his joint as a bartender.
*The upside and plus to that is that I get to game hot-ass tourists and further my credentials as a drink-mixologist.
*The downside is that I’m not fucking getting paid!
A year of unemployment,shitty-odd jobs and being tossed on the back-burner by backwards establishments and companies is a hard pill to swallow.
If most of my time wasn’t spend picking up women,I swear I would’ve gone AWOL and MIA.
Added Info:
Last week,I’d applied for a security job at the international airport(from an ad in the newspaper).So I’d basically be like those hated-TSA guys(in America)who harass travelers at the airports.
What better job than to be watching sexy-ass tourists everyday and get the opportunity to actually grope them legally in a pat down LMAO[just kidding feminists].
So-we’ll see how that goes down.
I can be this lucky guy soon.
‘Coming To America’[culture shock pt.1]
Didn’t think I had an Eddie Murphy & Arsenio Hall’s ‘Coming To America’-type background huh?Well not quite-but yall get the damn picture.Neither did we(my brother and I) emigrate from the mother-land(Zamunda),but from the Caribbean islands instead.
Wet behind the ears at ages 8 & 9[back in 1990],we landed on the proverbial-hard rock of North America.Smack dab in the middle of JFK international in Queens,New York.
The most immediate-culture shock for us was:how they consumed MILK in America.So,in this first installment of my ‘Coming to America’,I’m gonna address MILK[yummy].
*Visiting our aunt’s,whom we’d never met before(since she emigrated to NYC since the 70′s),she offered us some cereal[yippie!].When the bowls arrived,my brother and I didn’t notice any steam nor warmth emanating from our bowls.The bowls were basically cold(from the milk).And…?
Thing is,in the Caribbean,we always heat or milk[always].We never eat(ate)cold cereal nor use cold milk with our cereal lol.So when aunty gave us the ‘Cold Bowls’:it freaked us the hell out lmao!We’d never heard of consuming ‘cold milk’.
*Another milky situation that freaked us out totally was:People drinking raw milk straight out the box or glass!That shit sent a cold chill down my spine.A sensation of sheer grossness.To this day,I’m unable to consume raw milk straight out the box.It’s just fucking gross!!
*In school,where they were serving us those small boxes of milk(for lunch):you know for sure I wasn’t touching that LMAO.I remember back in the 3rd.grade in the Bronx,there was this one specific kid I used to sneak my milk to every day for an entire year LMAO!I was known for not drinking cold/un-heated milk.
And believe it or not,to this day in the Caribbean,we still have a phobia and uneasiness about drinking cold milk:whether by itself or with cereal.My relatives still all warm their milk(microwave or tea pot).
Coming Soon
Aah some good old snow.Cant forget my mother taking us to school and these flakey things kept falling on our coats.Snow is unheard of in the Caribbean.And at that time,we though snow was a myth or some fairy-tale phenomenon which you can only find in Cinderella movies.So to actually see snow in the flesh was fucking awesome!!
As a now grown 29 year old-I say “to hell with snow”!Don’t ever want to see it again LOL!I’m gonna address some other culture shocks in future posts so stay tuned guys(& gals).
Cuba;next on my travel list
Viva Cuba!!!
Forget all the BS y’all might have heard all these years about Cuba,especially from the propaganda-ladened American media.
Everyone in the world is enamored with Cuba but those Washington muthafriggin’ politicians,who secretly visit the nation via third-party traveling through other countries:essentially committing fraud.
And those American-cock-sucking ass Cubans in Miami,who didn’t flee to pursue “a better life”,but to pursue a life in the narco-trafficking industry,which they weren’t able to do in Cuba so they fled to Miami to do it(and to undertake in other illegalities).
Sounds politically incorrect,but fuck it-no tongue-biting.
Contrary to popular belief,the American populace doesn’t give a shit about Cuba’s policies nor political system.They just wish to travel there uninhibited by bullshit policies made by those old-stubborn U.S. bureaucrats who’s trying to stay relevant in a new era.
Im elated that I don’t live in New York City anymore,so I’m now free to visit where the hell I wish without worrying how am I gonna re-enter the U.S.without scrutiny from some stupid-ass immigration officer or ICE,wondering why is Cuba stamped in my pasaporte.
*Pick-up & Traveling go hand in hand
A pick-up artist or dating coach who doesn’t aspire to travel and see the world and bang exotic women is like a bird with its wings clipped-totally useless.
So basically,I was inspired by the gurus Steve Mayeda aka El Topo and RooshV ,both of who do a lot of traveling to places I’d never venture[like Bogota,Colombia].
There’s no point in wanting to bag exotic chicas yet don’t wanna go to where exotic chicas are: Cuba,Amsterdam,Germany,Brazil,Malaysia…
*Great dialogue at the barbershop on Cuba:
The other day at the barber while getting my Mohawk shaped up,a friend of mine was given us a proverbial tour of Cuba[at least a visual one].
He’s been studying there at a university for few years now,so he was giving us first-hand account of the wild/adventurous shit he witnesses over there regularly.
From rendezvous with cheap hookers at exotic bars,almost getting arrested in a prostitution sting with some jineteros(pimps),banging Chinese-foreign exchange students who love black men,to banging Russian goddesses in resort towns…
Goddamn that sounds like my kinda fun!!
What most of all caught my eyes was the night life over there.
Being brainwashed by the bias- American media,I never thought Cuba even had a nightlife(LMBAO)!
The guy was telling us about an exotic discoteca(night club),where in order to get in,one has to stand on a literal-red X in a parking lot,deposit his dinero(money),then a hole in the ground would open up like a portal with an escalator-type apparatus which would transport you to the underground lair of the club.
That’s some futuristic Russian shit right there lol!
My friend’s narration was corroborated by others,since my island has a huge amount of students studying in Cuba.
So there’s no exaggeration there bro’.
I’m open like a can of tuna anticipating my future trip to Cuba.
Exotic women,great nightlife,resort towns,adventures and taking my first toke of an official Cuban cigar.
Viva Cuba!!!
Chelios PUA
