‘Coming To America’[culture shock pt.1]

Didn’t think I had an Eddie Murphy & Arsenio Hall’s ‘Coming To America’-type background huh?Well not quite-but yall get the damn picture.Neither did we(my brother and I) emigrate from the mother-land(Zamunda),but from the Caribbean islands instead.

Wet behind the ears at ages 8 & 9[back in 1990],we landed on the proverbial-hard rock of North America.Smack dab in the middle of JFK international in Queens,New York.

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The most immediate-culture shock for us was:how they consumed MILK in America.So,in this first installment of my ‘Coming to America’,I’m gonna address MILK[yummy].

*Visiting our aunt’s,whom we’d never met before(since she emigrated to NYC since the 70′s),she offered us some cereal[yippie!].When the bowls arrived,my brother and I didn’t notice any steam nor warmth emanating from our bowls.The bowls were basically cold(from the milk).And…?

Thing is,in the Caribbean,we always heat or milk[always].We never eat(ate)cold cereal nor use cold milk with our cereal lol.So when aunty gave us the ‘Cold Bowls’:it freaked us the hell out lmao!We’d never heard of consuming ‘cold milk’.

*Another milky situation that freaked us out totally was:People drinking raw milk straight out the box or glass!That shit sent a cold chill down my spine.A sensation of sheer grossness.To this day,I’m unable to consume raw milk straight out the box.It’s just fucking gross!!

*In school,where they were serving us those small boxes of milk(for lunch):you know for sure I wasn’t touching that LMAO.I remember back in the 3rd.grade in the Bronx,there was this one specific kid I used to sneak my milk to every day for an entire year LMAO!I was known for not drinking cold/un-heated milk.

And believe it or not,to this day in the Caribbean,we still have a phobia and uneasiness about drinking cold milk:whether by itself or with cereal.My relatives still all warm their milk(microwave or tea pot).

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Coming Soon

Aah some good old snow.Cant forget my mother taking us to school and these flakey things kept falling on our coats.Snow is unheard of in the Caribbean.And at that time,we though snow was a myth or some fairy-tale phenomenon which you can only find in Cinderella movies.So to actually see snow in the flesh was fucking awesome!!

As a now grown 29 year old-I say “to hell with snow”!Don’t ever want to see it again LOL!I’m gonna address some other culture shocks in future posts so stay tuned guys(& gals).

My Holiday Season Rant(and transformation)

Ah….What would Christmas be like without me ripping a new one into good-old Saint Nick?Can’t picture it I know.

This is the time of year where my inner-Grinch happens to rear it’s ugly head Hahahha!I’m actually not a Grinch in the sense of an old guy pacing up and down his house in pajamas and being a prick about Christmas.

I’ve managed to tone down my disdain of the holiday season(Christmas) a notch.Far removed from the days of kicking down my mother’s Christmas tree and tossing rocks at the neighbor’s decorated window in my Bronx neighborhood as a teen.

Adulthood has tamed the beast LMAO!Six years ago,I would relegate and confine myself to my crib during this season:work to home.Nowadays,I actually go out and have fun on Christmas(clubbing and hitting in chics).Something that would’ve been a NO-NO prior to 2005.

“Hey Kenny,why do you hate Christmas so much”?

I’m not going to dive too deeply into the philosophical & historical aspects of Christmas and its falsehood[but stay tuned suckers!!!That article is coming soon].

However,surface-wise,I’m not against the Holiday season per se.

The sheer hypocrisy just drives me crazy!

This season,time of year and Christmas are SUPPOSEDLY based on a man named JESUS.Cool-if that’s what they’re led to believe.

But how many TV/radio commercials and advertisements have you seen based on Jesus?

Where are the Jesus figurines and the Jesus bobble-head dolls and toys!!?

Where are the Jesus-based video games?Where have they been for the last 25 years,or however long Atari game consoles were invented[under 25 crowd may not know what an Atari is]?

So…where is this Jesus?Why isn’t he popping up anywhere in public,TV,media,stores,Walmarts,etc.?

I’ll tell you why.’Cause it has nothing to do with a man named Jesus!!!

Christmas is about,and always has been about Mula,Chedda(and I don’t mean the cheese),Greens,Cash,Doe,Paper…

And that is super fine with me!!I’m not opposed to making money LOL.Viva Capitalism!

But why not just cut out the whole Jesus,religion and Christianity part to it all since we can all agree that they have nothing to do with Christmas?

We should re-inform all the kiddies in Sunday schools and whichever schools that it was just all a myth.Santa isn’t real,Jesus isn’t real(at least not present on Earth),thus Christmas isn’t based on them.Nor does it have spiritual aspect to it.

It’s all about that Benjamin.And lots of it too LOL.Businesses are making a killing,profits out the fucking roof…And it’s all good.

I’m all for that!But kill the religion part to it.Eradicate the Jesus part to it.Boycott the Christmas stories and films based on Jesus and the wisemen.

Santa gets more recognition,praise and fame than Jesus during this season of the year LMAO.Maybe Santa was the one really born on Dec.25th.if you think about it.

CLOSING(Transformation):

I can’t believe I’m saying this(although I have been doing this for the past 6 years),but let’s do what we do:have fun,pass around presents,eat our asses off,go clubbing,get hammered and pissy drunk…

In the same instance,let’s skip the Jesus films and pass on going to church to attend some quasi-religious play or ceremony.

Let’s leave the religion out where it belong(since religions are the #1 cause of massacres,murders and rapes in the world ever since so-called creation).Let’s not be hypocrites to intermix religion(Jesus) with making money(since Jesus was anti-profit, and anti-capitalism).

My transformation comes into play that I can now do as everyone else does:tossing the sanctity and spiritual aspects aside while opting for the more fun part-PARTYING!

So,Holiday season wishes to all[still can't believe I'm saying that LOL].Get drunk(have a designated driver),bang hot girls,and celebrate like there’s no tomorrow!

Q & A of the week:”When should he call”?

Ok guys,I promised a Q & A segment to my blog,where I would be asking some of my female Facebook friends questions on dating.With their consent of course[Kenny does have etiquette at times LOL],I’d be posting a pic’ with a fake name[Fuck off stalkers!!].The questions were asked in real time via Facebook chat BTW(interesting),so these are women I generally chat the shit with.

Every guy who dates or picks up chics, has heard about the ’3-Day Rule’,where the guy shouldn’t call nor contact the girl before 3 days of getting the digits.For obvious reason of not looking desperate.Being a curious bastard as I am,I wanted to get a general feedback from every-day women on this subject.Here we go.

T.T.

Cool-sexy chic I met days ago via mutual friends on Facebook,so I threw her in the fray.

Q.If a guy was to get your # and he calls the same night,would you see that as desperate?

A.

“Nope.Not really.Says that he’s interested”

Q.Ok cool.Should he wait to call?

A.

“Well to me:it doesn’t really matter but it shows that he’s interested.But others have their own opinion”.

Me:Some women say that the guy would look desperate calling the same night.

T.T.

“Unless he reaches the point where he’s just calling str8 then that’s another story”.

KW

KW’s a hot MILF I’ve been Facebook friends with for a while now.We probably have like 40 mutual friends,so she’s essentially in my social circle(online at least).

Q.Ok,if you gave a guy your # and he calls the same night,would you think he’s desperate?

A.

“No”.

Q.So how long should he wait to call?Few days or what?

A.

“No just call her”.

Me:”Some women say that it looks desperate to call the same day.What do you say”?

A.

“No it’s not desperate…what’s the difference if he calls the same night or 2 weeks lata”?

Miz

Cute Bronx chica I’d met on POF dating site.

Q.If you give a guy the digits and he hits you up the same day/same night,would you say thats’ needy and desperate?

A.

“Umm no not desperate but I need to keep my eyez open lol”.

Q.Lol,so when should he call?

A.

“Maybe that same week.But can definitely text show that he’s interested”.

Asian-Queens,NY

Cool Asian girl I met on POF too.She’s quite interesting with her insights.

Q.If you give a guy your # and he contacts you the same day or night,would that seem desperate?

A.

“Yea.Why”?

Q.Ok,but why would that be?

A.

“Maybe he just wants a booty call”.

Q.So generally,how long should the guy wait to contact you to not seem desperate for a booty call

A.

“Umm maybe a week not sure”.

Findings & Conclusion

Wow-that was interesting to find out where women stand(supposedly).

We in the seduction community, already know that what a girl wants and expects LOGICALLY, isn’t what she wants,expects or goes for EMOTIONALLY.

Anyway,the most interesting finding here(for me),is that most of the women I surveyed, do NOT think it’d be needy and desperate to call the same day/night of getting the digits.

Yet it’s still a catch 22 though with going for what a girl says and what she actually responds to.

But I like the point made by Miz(the Bronx chica) about the guy texting same day/night to show that he’s still interested.
That’s key!And I happen to do that shit most times.Rather running the risk of the girl forgetting who you are,it’s worth it sending a short text with built-in humor(based on the initial chat).

The hidden beauty of this Q & A post is that it could be used as an opinion opener in street approaches or wherever.Cool shit right?

BTW,I got the concept(indirectly) for doing this from my boys Solo and Drew,who’s doing an interview-type thing in NYC for his blog via Twitter.