“20 Things You’ll hate About Having A Girlfriend”

Hey guys,not claiming to be the grand-wizard of LTR management,but I’ve had enough experience over the past 3 years to say this: Think before you fucking leap!!

Too many guys get suckered into relationships that they weren’t ready for.

They managed to bang that HB8 with Minimal Game,then become ‘caught-up’ in the hype(and the new experience of pussy-banging).

Well,Kenny’s here to drop the proverbial hammer and rain on this white-washed parade.

“20 Things You’ll hate About Having A Girlfriend”

1.)She’s gonna suggest tagging along with you to the club(even on boys-night out).

2.)She’s gonna suggest going to the club together(which would be such a drag on a social guy who just wanna have some free time).

3.)Having to meet her miserable-ass parents on occasions.Rather worst; if they don’t like the thought of you(the scumbag) fucking with their precious daughter(I’ve experienced this LOL).

4.)You’ll be cajoled or pestered into doing shit which otherwise you would’ve seen as gay and effeminate.

•Going to the movies to watch Glee,or some Disney-oriented film.

•Wearing an article of clothing that she’d suggested:for instance- that gay-ass turtle-neck which is either too small or 2 sizes too big.

5.)She’ll demand some sort of exclusive rights to enter you crib at will and at random.

•In layman’s term:she’ll want a fucking key.

6.)Forced to have to memorize every BS feministical holiday and anniversary on the Gregorian calendar:

•Valentine’s,

•Christmas,

•Mother’s Day,

•Anniversaries,

•Birthdays(hers),

•Her kids’ birthdays…

7.)You’ll essentially be muzzled from talking about other girls in her presence[unless you're looking to kick start World War III...which would be a bad idea BTW].

8.)Her hotter friend with the bigger boobs whom you’ve been scheming on all those years:will effectively become off fucking limits!

9.)Pressured to move in together.

•AFC’s(men who rarely get laid) love the idea of living with their significant other.

But imagine having to turn off your cellphone every night from her prying curiosity SMFH?

Then having to fabricate (on the spot) a plausible reason for turning your phone off in the first place!!

10.)The unexpected text or call which startles the heck out of you @ 4 AM saying,“Where are you?I bet you’re still @ that party”?

•She has exclusive rights to do this kind of shit:so live with it LOL!

11.)Sex will have become mundane,lack-luster and down right goddamn BORING!

•You’ll be asking yourself:“Where’s the girl who’d given me that stunning blowjob 6 months ago that had my toes curling like onion rings”?

12.)She will periodically do shit to intentionally push your jealous-ometer to the max:

•Flirting with some random guy(s).

•Wearing that way-too tight skirt which shows the imprints of her panty outline…enough to leave a player wallowing in jealousy-ville questioning his “Inner-Game”.

13.)Hanging with the guys would be a reason for contention(on her part).

14.)She will(rightfully so)neglect to dress sexy or appealing to your taste.

•So be prepared to seeing her more often in hair-rollers,stocking caps/doorags,granny panties[my dick just got limped typing that LMAO],and anything else which may have turned you off if she wasn’t your GF.

15.)She won’t hesitate to stack on 50 extra pounds- ontop of the already 20 lbs.she’d gained over the past 3 months.

•Afterall:you’re her boyfriend,right?You should love and accept her anyway she is,right?

16.)She’ll transform into a Sarcasm Junkie over night[run for the fucking hills]!!

•When girl meets boy: girl conceals all of her ill-mannered behavioral liabilities which will turn off boy in a heartbeat.

•Once girl has boy(trapped in a relationship- sprung off pussy),girl begins to reveal her true self:Sarcastic,Bratty,Disagreeable…

17.)Running a rat-race with other couples.

•Your GF will undoubtedly bitch and nag(however subtly) about the new sun-dress that Jimmy bought for Sandy.

•Or that her girlfriends all received brand-new earrings from Tiffany’s from their boyfriends…as random gifts for being treasured beings.

•You’ll be left to feel guilty,or like a tight,cheap bastard,therefore joining the virtual rat-race to outdo her friends’ boyfriends.

18.)Be prepared to be monitored,controlled and babied!!!

•Monitored:“Hey babes,where are you?It’s been 2 hours since you messaged me”.

•Controlled:“I don’t like seeing you with a Mohawk.Why don’t you get it cut”?

•Babied:“You shouldn’t drink tonight.One beer is enough”[your beer will be seized away in public,and you'll be looking like a fucking chode who just got disciplined by his guardian].

19.)There will come a time where she uses the “Power of the Pussy” against you.

•In order to punish you(over a fight),she will withhold sex.

•If y’all cohabit(live together):your ass will be relegated to sleeping on the broken-down sofa.

20.)[Too controversial and politically incorrect to mention].

Wait!!There ‘IS’ a silver lining to this monstrosity!!

And that is to reign her in EARLY,sit her ass down,and lay out your cards of relationship expectations.

Essentially your boundaries,what you will and will not stand for.

The earlier you do this(in the relationship):the more you come off as assertive.

The longer you wait:she’ll be inclined to not take you seriously.

My Podcast Link

Follow me on Twitter

My Youtube Vids

SocialK’s “Fantasy-Raffle” Sex Game:To Keep Your Sex Life Spicy!

photo by www.the12planet.blogspot.com/

Woa!!I’ve been on a major spree when it comes to LTR advice.Must be reading too much of Jesse Charger’s PUA blog(which is great BTW for relationship tips).

Ok,it doesn’t take a rocket-scientist nor an Einstein-like brain to conclude that most relationships are friggin’ BORING!!More monotonous and bland than a carton of plain-white rice from Shing-Wang’s Chinese restaurant in Lower Manhattan.

Likewise,my current ‘on & off’ relationship has sucked 75% of the time(decent percentage; considering others don’t even try to liven it up).Tired of the bullshit,weeks ago,I pondered some cool stuff I can try to re-animate my sex life.My GF,although she’s a pain in the groin most times,she’s given me 10 thumbs up for my creativity[tooting my big horn huh lol?].She’s even bragged to her all female co-workers about this shit[NICE]!!

“Fantasy-Raffle Sex Game”

[Both parties must contribute and participate to keep it interesting for both]:

You’ll need:
*Sheet of paper
*Pen/pencil
*hat,box,bag or plastic
*Willingness

1.)On 10 small pieces of paper[5 for the guy,5 for the gal],jot down 5 sexual actions or fantasies you’d want the other to perform on you. It makes it more spicy if the person doesn’t normally perform such acts.

Example:facials,eating out,swallowing,blowjob,public sex,elevator sex,blowjob with ice cream…

2.)Feel free to inform the other person of the acts that you’d written down(so it doesn’t push the comfort limit too far).But it’s even 10 times more exhilarating to keep it a secret.

3.)Ok,crumble(individually)all 10 pieces of paper and toss those shit in a bag,hat,frying pan,whatever LOL!Shake it up,then 1 person picks out a paper.[Who gets to dip and pick first doesn't matter].

4.)Whichever of the 10 acts gets picked,the other person has to perform it or partake in it[eat it until she orgasms twice,sneaky sex at grandma's house...]

*And to keep it spontaneous as it should be,only do the withdrawal(picking) when it’s about that time for sex,and both parties are horny.

*It kills the spontaneity if yall were to know 2 days prior,that “Jim has to go down on Sandy with the cheese cake”.So only do the raffle picking when yall are actually in the mood for sex.

[Either toss away the acts which were fulfilled,or keep them(papers) if wish to resume after the 10 acts were eventually completed a few weeks down the line].

5 Ways:To Save And Spicen Up Your Relationship

Add a lil’ spice to it

For the record,let me begin by saying:I’ve always sucked at relationships- Big time!!!

I’m good at getting laid[make no mistakes about it],but I can guarantee that Ronnie from MTV’s Jersey Shore has better LTR- management skills than I do…and Ron is pretty shitty at it.BTW,the pick-up master guru,Roosh V,actually admitted to being shitty at relationships too,so I feel privileged to be in the ranks of greats LOL.

BUT- there’s a proverbial light at the end of the tunnel. I’ve been in a relationship approaching 3 years now[On & Off nevertheless].Whenever the luster lacks and boredom rears its dirty head,I usually revive things in the proceeding 5 ways:

1.)Take Her Dancing/Clubbing.

*As much as I hate going clubbing with a girlfriend[I have to behave myself LOL],there’s nothing more exhilarating to your partner than a night of bumping & grinding.Sex afterwards will excite the shit out of her!!

2.)Random Sex(Unexpected).

*Shy guys tend to be too timid to pull such bold and raunchy moves.However,for unpredictable loose-cannons like I am:this is actually a breeze.So,the next time you’re driving her from the usual-boring tradition dinner date,feel free to pull the car over and ravage her on a side street unexpectedly.

3.)Kill Routine!

*Guys,I know it’s easy as hell to just fall into a comfortable routine of doing the same shit,same time,same place…But predictability actually kills relationships[Duh!].My GF used to crash at my place on Thursdays and Sundays-every week like clockwork SMFH!As a dominant man,it’s my responsibility to guide the ship[relationship],since women aren’t leaders.So I restricted her from coming to my spot on those same 2 night.I insisted on mixing it up in order to kill the pending monotony.

4.)Space Space Space!!!

*I feel like this point is a broken record throughout the seduction community.Give her space!Not just physical space,but emotional space.

*Refrain from calling her every day.Refrain from calling her at the usual times.Just refrain!When my GF and I are “ON”,I usually see her like twice weekly(the most).Yes,she bitches about not spending enough time,but that is just a woman’s irrational mind at work.If I were to listen to her to then spend more time with her(every day per-say),she will then become tired of my presence,and secretly wish that I would be gone.So that’s why you should never listen to a woman(when it comes to relationship management).

Give her space in order to miss you.

5.)Compliment Her(or him).

*All of us,in the seduction community,know that it’s a ‘SIN’ to compliment women(generically).However,in LTR’s(relationships),this doesn’t apply much(if at all).So feel free to say to her,”You’re so fucking hot in those tights”!!Dirty-talk is crucial:ask the pick-up guru Jesse Charger of Seduction Science.com

*Being so hard-core against complimenting chics,I believe I went about a year and a half without complimenting my GF.When I did do it(reluctantly),it absolutely made her week.

But the average guy tends to neglect complimenting his GF out of laziness and the feeling of,”I already got her:so what’s the point”?

Compliments should NOT be used with random girls you haven’t shagged yet.But if she’s your GF or wife:give her a naughty compliment occasionally.

Occasional is the operative word.You never want to abuse compliments.

‘Want To Know If He’s Cheating’?

I was just lying here in my apartment,gazing around,brainstorming some interesting topics I can blog about.

Now-I’m a man[DUH!],which means I’m NOT too inclined in keeping my bachelor pad in tip-top shape;pants thrown here,boxer-briefs tossed there,dirty Converse all-stars propped up on the old CPU,oily-pizza box from last week staring at me from under the bed[LMAO]…you know-typical male-mess.We tend do get slobby at times.Men who live alone can relate-right?

So I was dialoging with myself,”It’s the Holiday season,eventhough I’m anti-climactic about it,I’m expecting to pull some hot girls back to the pad.My GF and I are sought-of on a break[what's fucking new?],so I betta get this shit in order!

Like a city roach scrambling to take refuge when the lights come on-I did the same shit and scurried to get the pad in order, and some-what clean LOL.

As I’m cleaning,I said to myself,”Look at how easily I could’ve been busted if my girlfriend and I were still exclusive SMH”.

For the guys who aren’t in relationships,nor haven’t been in one recently,this may seem vague to you.I’ll explain a bit later.

It’s generally accepted,or at least in the seduction community,that women are 100 times more perceptive than us men.Women are fucking clairvoyant,which means they can pick up on shit lightning fast,while we men are slow as snails to pick up on things.Thus the social stigma that women are best at cheating(since they rarely get caught compared to men).Women can pick up on: when a guy likes her,when he’s trying to buy his way into her panties,when he’s nervous,etc.Women got that!!They are good at picking up on patterns.

Pertaining to patterns:men tend to get lazy after few months in a relationship, thus falling into a routine(which his GF notices):
*He no longer gets a haircut
*Farts around her
*Lets his guards down
*Lives like a slob
*Isn’t worried about cleaning his pad every single minute just because his girlfriend is coming over.

My point is,it’s common that people(mainly men)fall back into a lazy routine after ‘winning the so-called prize’(the girl).

During the course of my LTR,I settled into the pattern too LOL,”What the hell-that’s my girl!I’m not gonna hire a fucking maid nor become one, just ’cause she’s coming over!So what if the fridge is empty or the cat pissed on the floor:I’ll have her grab some snacks on the way over then clean up the cat mess when she gets here[shrug]“!

It’s normal to operate that way when dealing with your partner.You can relax,be lazy and not worry about impressions.

But do we operate that way when hoping to pull some new ass?Of course not LMAO!!!With the possibility of a new prospect coming over,if the guy has to search Craig’s list for a cat-sitter or bum some money off a buddy to stack his fridge,then he will do it by any friggin’ means!!!Can’t have your date come over and your dirty underwears are sprawling all over the couch,exposing her to your slobbery.

But this is where a lot of cheating guys go wrong.They break their patterns without reasons.This isn’t just related to domestic things as cleaning.This could be a guy who never goes to the gym.Then suddenly,he starts going to the gym often.Yes,he CAN truly want to lose 10 lbs.to gratify himself.But when sudden change of patterns and lifestyles occur,9-10 times,it signals infidelity or the thought of it.

If a guy only tidies his crib once a month,then starts doing it every week(without reason),then it’s crystal clear that he’s doing it for the purpose of picking up women[a new woman].Or appearing presentable to that woman.

People just don’t break patterns and routines for their spouses,partners nor someone they’re already familiar with(relatives,etc.).We generally break patterns to make an impression on people we are NOT familiar with.

Classic Example:My girlfriend used to hound me to fucking death about getting a haircut,cutting my Mohawk…did I do it?Hell no LOL!!!

*She harassed me about a jeans I wore which had a mini-hole in the crotch area.Did I stop wearing it?Lol of course I still wore that shit!

Now that it’s the Holiday season and I’m expecting to see a lot of girls in town from NYC[escaping the Winter to the islands],my GF and I are on a break(as usual-can’t get along),so picking up random hotties is a ‘MUST’.

You can bet a million bucks that I went to the barbershop yesterday!I can guarantee that I won’t be seen wearing those jeans with the hole in the crotch around possible prospects LOL!!!Essentially,my pattern and routine were broken due to possible prospects.

So if you really wanna know if your GF/BF is cheating or looking to cheat:pay attention to their patterns and lifestyle changes.Subtle things as NOT wearing a shirt that they always wore,tidying their apartment outside of their usual allotted time could be red flags.

Men tend to NOT be readily able to pick up on these subtleties(coming from their girlfriends).However women can spot these changes and break in patterns like friggin’ witchdoctors.Women truly have an innate ability to see through the bullshit.That’s why it’s harder for a man to cheat and get away with it.In the same token,that’s why it’s easier for a girl to cheat and get away with it.Men naturally don’t pick up on patterns.That’s why it’s hard for us to gauge whether a girl likes us or not.While a girl can tell within a blink of an eye that that guy wants to ravishing her.

So guys,if y’all plan on being cheating dogs,remember to not break patterns and routines unless you have plausible reasons.’Cause if you do:she will know it.

Marriage,Relationship,Love and why we commit.

This subject has beaten the crap out of me for ages now:How the hell do marriages work or last!!?

My fellow NY blogger Andrew at Dating Happens.Com, gave me the idea for this post since he made a comment on 1 of his articles stating that it’s a miracle that marriages last[or something to that effect].

Guys-I can’t imagine waking up to the same face everyday:no matter how friggin’ cute that face is!It’s unfathomable!I stayed over at my baby-mama’s one weekend and I felt like I was suffocating lmao!And the funny thing is,the vibe was great!We weren’t fighting,arguing or anything of that sought.So I had no reason to be pissed or bored.However,I felt like this was too much.Too much crowding,too much of the same face,same voice,same house…

It’s not that I’m anti-marriage[but I'm borderline maybe].But right now at age 29,that’s not in my playbook.

It fascinates me how many guys are willing to ‘dive right in’.Not just into matrimony,but living with a GF.

Kenny’s Theory:

*Believe it or not:LOVE isn’t what keeps couples together.

*Caring about a spouse isn’t what keeps couple together neither.

*Loving a girl-boy isn’t what propels a person to commit to,or move in with his-her significant other.

You know what does?I’ll break it down later.

It’s 100 times more likely to get a woman, who’s over 35, to commit:be it to marriage,living together,or a steady LTR(relationship),opposed to a hot-young 25 year old.That should be common sensical.

But why is this?Why are older ppl much more likely to settle,marry or move in?

Common sense again:they’re fucking getting older.Duh!!Call it what you may:biological clock ticking,aging,maturity,menopause…

Along with age comes a lack of desirability by the opposite sex.A 40 year old cougar just isn’t gonna get half the play as a 20 year old PYT(pretty young thing) would.And ppl aren’t stupid:we know this!We know as we age,the pool of available man-woman would’ve dissipated and lowered.

So with that frame of not being so desirable anymore[which could be an insecurity and emptiness],we tend to fall for anyone or jump into any relationship and give it our all.

My Point:When people tend to commit or marry(which entails living together),it isn’t this LOVE stuff that’s propelling that decision.It’s an insecurity,vanity or superficiality.

It takes a very well-aware man or woman to commit for the right reasons(which is rare).

Don’t believe me?Look at your guy friends who are married (prematurely) or living with someone.

Either of these 3 things typically plays a part:1)He isn’t that attractive to begin with,so he knows he cannot afford to lallygag and play the field as if he’s Brad Pitt.So he settles .

2)He hooks up with a super-hot girl,or just a girl who’s ordinarily out of his league.So he settles or wife it up(since he doesn’t wanna risk loosing such a hot girl).

3)He’s old(er),he knows he cannot afford to play the field for the next 5 years,so he settles.

Lack of (perceived) beauty makes people settle!Not love LOL!Lack of desirability!

Getting into relationships, 90% of the times have nothing to do with the L word.Nada!!

In order to make a relationship/marriage work,you have to have some sort of insecurity(conscious or subconsciously).

A person who sees himself/herself as totally content, will NOT get into relationships.And if he-she does,they will NOT be faithful!They cannot be!

That is the prime reason for infidelity/cheating.

The girl or guy realizes that they’re still desired,beautiful, sexy and young,so they now have valuable reason to play the field again:be it actual cheating,cyber sex behind her husband’s back,whateva!

Without that feeling of desirability and wanting,that girl or guy will NOT cheat.They WILL commit.They WILL marry.They have no choice but to- since they believe they have no options.

A girl who perceives herself to be ugly or unattractive would most likely stay with her spouse and marry and commit since her option pool is limited or non-existent(according to her).

Lesson from my grandparent’s marriage:

My paternal grandparents have been married for over 40 years[If I'm correct].

The other day,I asked myself,”What made them stay together so long?How and why did it last or lasting”?

If I were to have asked them this,I guarantee they would not have been able to give a rational answer besides LOVE:which is an irrational sensation.

So I analyzed their marriage and other elderly marriages.Fount out that my grandma was way younger than he was.So he snatched up a young thing lol.What would most men do in this case?Treasure and value that woman and situation like there’s no tomorrow!If a 40 year old guy was to bag a 20 year old,you bet your life on it that he would do any and everything to ensure she doesn’t leave:be it marry,tricking like crazy…

So my grandpa had an insecurity/neediness coming into that marriage:he had a young thing and didn’t wanna let go.So as most men in that predicament would do:they cede power to the woman/wife/GF.

My grandma was like the man in this marriage lol!She ran shit!She dictated what he ate,when to eat,when to sleep(virtual curfew),etc.What she says fucking goes lol!

Papa would say to me(as late as 6 months ago),”this woman drives me nuts”!

I ask myself,”then why stay with her”?

Obviously,he has no choice.No options as a 70+ year old man.He cannot go play the field!He was obviously too old,so he did what any logical person would:stay in the marriage and endure the BS.

It’s called settling.How many of us settle for anyone just for superficial reasons:age,beauty,wealth,money…?Most of us do.

CONCLUSION

I’m not saying LOVE doesn’t exist.I’m saying that what we perceived to be LOVE is NOT what keeps us together.

But more rational,tangible and superficial things:money,wealth,kids(a family),a pretty face,nice booty,solid body,fame,etc.

Same reason why a guy won’t date a girl if he finds out she has prosthetic legs(fake legs).Or a girl won’t be open to dating a handicap or a guy who was severely burnt to his face and now looks like a talking pizza.

So we are WAY more superficial and surface-driven than we wanna admit.

The whole notion of “I’m with him ’cause I love him” is bullshit!We’re most likely with the person we are with because of these reasons:looks,money,wealth,a nice booty,nice face,solid body,good sex,kids(family)…

What makes a person genuinely commit,stay faithful is a lack of options and choices.A 70 year-old grandma has minimal to no options,a guy in a wheelchair has minimal to no options,the 400 lbs.girl knows she has limited options,so there’s no choice but to remain and commit to whomever they’re with.

The younger the person,the more options,the more possibility of infidelity.Hence the epidemic of young marriages failing from the gate.

I have to SMH @ some of my friends who get infatuated with dating girls fresh out of high school.Those girl will cheat or dump your ass or be dumped.At the end of the day,they have options out the fucking roof,so they will never truly commit until they feel that option pool has shrunken.And that is not gonna happen while a girl or guy is still in their 20′s.

It takes a strong person to commit and actually remain faithful,knowing they have options to go fuck some other girl or guy.

Managing A Relationship Like An Alpha Male

Hey guys, I go by the name of Chelios (23 years old from London, UK), a former PUA(Pick-Up Artist) of around 4/5 years.

I was introduced to the world of PUA’s from one of my uncles, a legend in my eyes, (whom I cannot name at this time) I have witnessed great game from him. I was put forward into “gaming” when one of my ex girlfriends dumped me who I was “In love with” and was sopping for weeks and even months.One day my uncle had enough!He gave me a copy of “The Game” and said “Read this and you’ll see”’(At this point I was shocked, I’m not a big reader).A few weeks down the line, I was bored and upset, still thinking about “what if I did this, what if I did that?” (regarding my ex) so I decided then picked up my copy of ‘The Game‘ by Mr. Strauss, I never thought that was the beginning of the end for my whining and moaning like a little 5 year old girl.

I look back now and laugh. I wasn’t in Love. I just loved and enjoyed certain things, which I then learnt I could have so much more and achieve something that I want- and now I have that.

I’ve got to be honest, I have had many highs and just as many lows in the last 5 years:a whole heap of rejections as well as success stories. Most people know but I wish to reiterate the ART and road to succeed in Pickup is trial and error. There really is no perfect PUA. We all have our own ways, our own rules. Make your own rules, abide by whatever works for you. I’ve been speaking to my good friend Kenny for a while about a write up.So now I thought I’d share some of my insight on LTR’s(Long-Term Relationships),seen as I’ve been in one now for sometime and starting a family in the near future.

My first post for Kenny’s blog is just a bit about me and a small chunk of my opinions of how to maintain an LTR, how to increase the chances of an LTR occurring with someone your fond of and into.

What makes us want an LTR? Is it boredom? Isit the thought of regular sex or maybe the comfort and maybe the fear of being alone? I think it’s a mix in most case’s’ and there is nothing wrong with that.

First the key to a relationship becoming serious and long term is to take things slowly, live your life as normal and not be clingy.Nobody wants to feel like they have vermin around them or a stalker 24/7 or thereabouts. Absence makes the heart grow fonder[ that old saying is so true].When we are away from something we enjoy/like/love…the longer that goes by, the more we will enjoy and cherish it next time. It may seem a small thing, but it’s often a school boy error in pua to always want to be around a girl non stop of whom we are feeling, enjoy now but think of the tomorrow and the day after too.

Assess what is OK and what is not OK in your eyes for a relationship. I.e, what you wont accept, what you will, what you want from your woman, the direction you see your future heading in. Your desires will then either bring you together or push you apart, which will be for the best under either circumstance.

Maintain your own life :

Remember when you attract someone, and when they’re attracted to you, you are your own person.So it’s fundamentally important you maintain that, and keep in mind the qualities and actions that brought you together.

Remember the do’s and dont’s .What you can do, what she can do, what is fair, remember compromise, don’t give in to everything. A woman will seriously push and test you (Shit test), especially early on and as the relationship progresses. Just keep a cool and well balanced head.Don’t lose it!Patience is a virtue. If women see themselves getting to you, they will keep pushing your buttons.

For example:

“I’m going out with my friends tonight!” – without asking me to go with her.
She’s receiving SMS messages and doesn’t tell me who text her and stuff.

Remain like a ghost – act like you don’t really care, but maybe in some people’s eyes this isn’t the right decision, but It does work, you’ll then see if she carries on.

I know it’s not too in depth, but I hope some of you have enjoyed this post. I will be posting more in the future.

Feel free to ask any questions and follow me on twitter if you wish @crazy_gooner

Thanks for reading. Much appreciated!

Chelios

Why being in a relationship kills your pick-up skills:and how to avoid it.

Why Being in a relationship kills your pick-up skills:and how to avoid it.

Let me say this from the get-go:

A relationship is NOT game!

Relationships are totally different ball game to seduction and picking up girls.

What applies in picking up chiccs will not apply in managing an LTR.

Relationship management is a totally different sphere than managing getting laid.

I had to learn that the hard way.And I sucked at managing my relationship since I was trying to apply the same concepts as if I was trying to seduce a stranger.

Ok,most of the insights I’ll share in this article is from my personal experiences in my LTR:so this ain’t no second-hand bullshit info’ from someone else’s LTR.

So,why does being in a relationship kills a guy’s pick-up skills?

Quite simple:

*We men tend to settle into a pattern as the LTR progresses.That pattern consists of being lazy and passive.

“What the hell!I got the girl already so I can relax”.

We subconsciously fall into that mindset.Which is ok if you intend to be with that one girl your entire life.Or if you intend in not being a social creature again.

But if you’re as normal as any other guy:you’d want to be social and have a social life.

My Story:

Before entering my LTR( 2 and a half years ago),I was a rockstar at picking up women.I was a fucking savage!

Met my current GF,go through the usual ups & downs,work on shit…

Typical relationship.

Like many guys,I got into the flow of things;playing the boyfriend role as much as possible.

But I was simultaneously killing my social skills in general since I didn’t need those pick-up skills set anymore[I already succeeded in getting a girlfriend].

Huge mistake!

About a year down the line,we had a brief split-up and I wanted to re-enter the field of “game”.

I did-but to no avail.

I was like a fish out of water.

Not particularly ’cause I was so used to my relationship and my girlfriend.

But because I hadn’t gamed anyone in almost a year,my skills were fucking rusty!

Put a naked girl infront of me and I wouldn’t know what to do with her(smfh).

Most of my prior-pick up skills had vanished so whenever I tried approaching a new girl at a bar or street pick up,I totally C&B(crash and burn)in set.

This would repeat itself weeks after weeks,leaving me jaded and confused as to why the hell I wasn’t able to pull anything!

Got bacc with my LTR,shit went sour,split up for few weeks,and still wasn’t able to pull any new girls just to have a decent chat.

So I analyzed the situation,did some research about this,and found some interesting tips and insights as to my sticking point.

I surmised that my skills had depleted because of being in a standard relationship,subjected to social norms.

The social norms of a relationship are:

*Fidelity
*limit on socializing(particularly with the opposite sex)
*Compromising

Those 3 tenents compose a standard relationship in the western world.

Fidelity and compromising are ok.

But to limit yourself on how much you socialize and with whom:that shit ultimately kills one’s social skills or pick-up skills.

Therefore,over the past 6 months,I decided to get my mojo back[at least when it comes to socializing].

I wasn’t all contrite and secretive about it neither.I did tell my LTR that I’ll be communicating more in general.And That I’ll be socializing more.

I manned the fuck up and laid some ground rules down for my relationship!

And that’s what a lot of us men need to start doing-defining what we want and what we will and will not accept in a relationship.

A lot of us get into relationships then stop doing stuff we were accostumed to-like going out:no more clubs,bars,games,hang-outs,etc.

Limits are definitely crucial,but a guy who was used to going to the bar bi-weekly shouldn’t have to give that up if he intends to have or maintain a relationship.

And it’s not the woman’s fault!

It’s not like she held a gun to your head and threatened to shoot you if you go out alone this weekend.

We men just tend to follow societal norms as we get into the swing of an LTR,so we abandon everything we knew about being social and getting girls.

If you never had any game nor social skills prior to getting a girlfriend-then this article doesn’t apply.

On the contrary,if you were like me:decent game and loved to be social,then it’s beneficial to define your relationship early and that you intend to remain social.

If she cannot accept that,then there’s no reason to continue in such a relationship which robs you of a basic freedom to be social.

So after making it clear to my LTR that I intend to be my social-self again,we agreed that that was doable.

But that only left me in a friggin’ quagmire.I had to re learn shit like how to be comfortable in social settings,and how to engage people in decent chats without stalling and seeming awkward.

So I had to re- teach myself all the shit I ever learned about being social.All the basics.

That could’ve been avoided if I’d never fell into the proverbial monotony of my relationship.

Learn from my mistakes guys.

Be wary of falling into a routine of a relationship.